Panic!
Oh no, It's happened again
I can't do this!
I start shaking
I can't do this
My heart beats out of my chest
it hurts to breathe
I can't breathe
I can't do this!
Everyone is staring
my palms start sweating
I can't do this.
The teacher's talking
I can't hear her
She's speaking to me
What is she saying!
I can't
do this
I tttrry tto sppeaak
she wants me to share my project with the class
I still can't.
I start crying, how embarrassing
I try to speak again
But the tears won't stop coming
I want to hide
I want to leave
I want to die.
I
can't
do
this

life
lif
li
lie
lies

Better that every fiber crack
and fury make head,
blood drenching vivid
couch, carpet, floor
and the snake-figured almanac
vouching you are
a million green counties from here,

than to sit mute, twitching so
under prickling stars,
with stare, with curse
blackening the time
goodbyes were said, trains let go,
and I, great magnanimous fool, thus wrenched from
my one kingdom.

I can't focus
I can't think
I can't feel

I can't do this
I can't breathe.

Am I still alive?
I need to feel something.
I need to feel something.

silver to red
silver to red
If I need to feel, i'll do my magic trick and turn silver to red

I need to, they don't understand
they hid it, but my voices are chanting "silver to red, silver to red"
Now they are screaming, " You're pathetic, you loser, you can't do anything right."

I don't feel anything, I'm numb.
but words still hurt.
I'm sobbing, curled up in the corner begging "Stop!".

But they just keeps getting louder, screaming, drowning me out.
they wants me to suffer, but then again they are me.
It's all just in my head, but they are all still so real

They taunt, They yell, They keeps me up all night.
Reminds me of mistakes, failures, my flaws
They crushes my dreams ,one by one, "who'll love you, how are you going to become a doctor" the list goes on and on

So if I just get silver
if I can just do the magic once more
then maybe I'll get some relief.

I'm left here
waiting
wondering
hating
I'm suppose to be better
I'm suppose to be happy
but I'm not.

I don't blame you!
I don't blame you
I don't blame you...
Why can't you just understand, its nothing you did.
it's nothing you said.
It's nothing I can control.

They yell, they scream, they ****, they win...
They want me dead,  I can feel it in my bones
I'll lose, I'll always lose, and I'll never stop losing.

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"