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 Jul 2015 MereCat
wes parham
On the night that I dreamed you had died,
I didn't want them to see me crying in the kitchen,
But I did, and spoke only the truth for the day,
In honor of you.  I hope that it wasn't a dumb thing to do.
It probably was.

I didn't want to speak to people you knew,
But I did.  Told them how I knew you and, now,
With you gone...
-**** it, you wouldn't want this,
All this spewing of emotion, this lament of the flesh,
From which you're now gone.
I said I felt bad for loving you so much, but then I remembered your words,
I said I was wrong, I said I was weak, but then I remembered your words,
When you said,
"You are, but that's o.k."
It's the consolation of a friend, now gone, distilled to the essence,
Of what you needed to hear,
Exactly when you needed to hear it.
Imagined emotions in the wake of an imagined death.
It's about the storm that might occur in the wake of a death close to someone.  Not deeply close, but meaningful.  We hide our love for fear and in this situation, the dam breaks and all comes out.  It turns out that being at peace with the way things are is a good place to start.  You'll find that what seemed like a colossal nightmare was, in fact, perfectly o.k. after all.
 Jul 2015 MereCat
ThePoet
Harbor the
murderous afflictions
dismembering 
your heart,

make no effort
or attempt
to reassemble 
any part,

but encompass 
every severed
piece of it with a 
masterful work of art

©
I keep getting this urge
To tell strangers
How you used to bring a can of Chef Boyardee
To school for lunch everyday.

Or how I used to collect
Plastic Hello Kitty cupcake rings
And give them to you
Just to see you smile.

I would laugh as you ate it cold,
plastic fork suspended
straight from the can.

I would smile with you,
and hope you didn't realize
I ate all those cupcakes
by myself.

I want to share you with the world
Take your memory with me in my pockets
Spill it out with my tongue

I want to share you with the world,
Introduce you to people you will never meet
Tell people about you
Because they will never get the chance
To get to know you like I did
Like we all did.

But when you took your life,
You did the world a disservice
You took away the world's chance to find you
So you could find yourself

You took away your opportunities
To change
To get better
To grow
To love
And be loved
How we loved
You.

Your smile
Your eyes
Your soul
All so bright
Like stars in sky

Stars that you snuffed out
Stars that we can't gaze at anymore.
Your constellation is lost
Just a fairytale now
But a favorite amongst us all
For my friend who took her life. I wish you had called me before you pulled the trigger.
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