you don't know that i know when you keep secrets
i hope it's not something you make into a habit.
and it *****, the way i know you so well --
that i know you without effort, in or out of your shell.
'cause i know you hide something but unlike before
you never open up to me anymore.
but you know i'm here for you, and like always,
i'll wait for you to tell me no matter how long it takes.

something's wrong with the way i'm thinking
everything easily gets infuriating
all sense of rationality slowly dissipating
as i whole-heartedly embrace the idiot i'm being
i can't be assed to "do my best"
leaning more and more towards "let God do the rest"
full-on acting depressed
hell, no one's impressed
hoping i'd give myself some sort of healing
trying to fill whatever's left of my heart with words so inspiring
well, i did try, but i'm quite definitely failing
'cause a new habit of mine's giving every little thing meaning
like a downright proper poet
when really, my most honest line of all would be "***** it"
maybe someday i'll be able to get through it
though first i should probably stop preaching and actually do it
and i'd just try to seek comfort in my usual scene
but lately it's started involving nicotine
well, quite the rocky ride it has been
who knows if you'll hear another word from me again?

"There is only one god,
and his name is death.
And there is only one thing
we say to death --
'not today.'"*
Day by day it gets a little harder
but these traces on our wrists
we wear as battlescars.
So we say --
not today.

when people ask me
why im sad
is it bad to say
that im sad
because i am?
maybe im just meant
to be sad
'cause some people find
happiness
while some stay sad.
and i'd happily
give way, dear
for you to find yours,
no matter
the consequences.