How does it feel?
Having your heart being ripped out from your chest....then trying to put it back in with no prevail?
Does it sting?
Do you feel a thing?

Once upon a time there was a girl who cried her heart out every night. It spilled everywhere and it wasted her precious love. With nowhere to turn to, she wrote stories. She wrote and wrote until her stories touched other hearts and inspired other lives. One day, an old lady asked her, "what's in your stories that make it so good?" She smiled feebly and said, "my broken heart."

I wonder if you knew
About those nights
When I longed for you
To hug me, and pull away my fright

When my stomach would do flips
And I'd feel sick
But I only want a glimpse
Even for a second, just real quick

Of the one I love
Whose heart I have
But no
Dear, you didn't know

I no longer yearn for you
Not intensely as before
Those nights when I was blue
"I don't want to ever need you," I swore

I used to smile and be happy
I still do
But I do now for me,
And hardly because of you

My head is home
To three different demons
Who whisper their thoughts
Like a venom, fast and poisonous

The first one, a man
Loud, carefree, love struck and happy
He shouts in my ear,
"Go, live, be free."

The second, a woman
Old, classy, and snooty
Her head always upturned
To show I'm a nobody

The last, a child
Scared and alone
That she has no one
When all she wanted was to go home

My ears burn at their whispers
Red, and hot
But they're stuck in my head
And I listen more often than not

I still dream of running away
To a place I could call my own
Safe from the heartaches of the world
A place where I can hide
And tend the demons in my head
Where nobody knows me
And I know nothing
I can search this Earth for that haven
For I don't fear getting lost
How can I lose my way?
I don't even know where I'm going

I've been lying
I say that I'm okay
And it must be convincing
'Cause you believe it

But sometimes I wonder
Who am I fooling?
I think I've become a better liar
Because even to myself, I do it

I'm all smiles and sunshine
While I think inside,
Darling,
*You'll never know I'm hurting

little dark girl with
kind eyes
when it comes time to
use the knife
I won't flinch and
i won't blame
you,
as I drive along the shore alone
as the palms wave,
the ugly heavy palms,
as the living does not arrive
as the dead do not leave,
i won't blame you,
instead
i will remember the kisses
our lips raw with love
and how you gave me
everything you had
and how I
offered you what was left of
me,
and I will remember your small room
the feel of you
the light in the window
your records
your books
our morning coffee
our noons our nights
our bodies spilled together
sleeping
the tiny flowing currents
immediate and forever
your leg my leg
your arm my arm
your smile and the warmth
of you
who made me laugh
again.
little dark girl with kind eyes
you have no
knife. the knife is
mine and i won't use it
yet.