Every idea you've had on hallucinogens is fake.
It was dark around the tiny building lights and the car was shaking, buzzing,
I drank too much caffeine this morning and my hands are still unsteady. I sit on them when I'm nervous and there are lines pressed in my knuckles.
The girl behind the wheel is talking endlessly about dropping acid in her dorm room and her voice is melting into the air conditioning, a flutter of sound.
I'm missing you.
I'm missing girls with black, wild hair and boys with black, empty eyes.
I'm missing the blue tee-shirt he wore under a gray sweater when all I could focus on was how soft the fabric was on my back.
I did it so I couldn't feel the ache.
I'm missing the bulky, rough hands on my collar bones when I couldn't tell if you were thinking about how thin I had become or how easy I would be to hush. My throat was too close to your fingers.
These words make no sense to the world around me and no one knows the people I am painting in this poem
And it's better that way, because in this they stay silent.
And all of a sudden, I am missing everyone,
And I am missing from everything.
Every idea you had with smoke in your lungs has been said before,
And every idea you've had with a pill in your cheek is a dream.
All of a sudden, I miss everyone.