dear whatevers up there, im currently choking on my own soul in my room whilst thom yorke croons into my ears,
surrounded by paper and **** and all i can think of is the decaying in my bones.
dear whatevers up there, please save me.
im not here, this isnt happening.
everything is piling up and im drowning in myself.
dear whatevers up there, please save me.
i want to shiver and breathe until i reach something new.
dear whatevers up there, please save me.
i want to curl and coil until i reach something old.
dear whatevers up there, please save me.
i want to fade and dilute until its like i never really was.
dear whatevers up there,
please save me.

the way our heads would come together
as i’d pass you my lighter.
the way it would click and between us
there would be half an orange heart
flickering and illuminating our features
both our lips would touch it.
it’s not a kiss—not yet
the way your fingers would delicately curl around it
how i’d long for them to be around mine.
we’d be breathing the same smoke
its whispering curls would envelope us
and in the grey wisps
we’d huddle closer together.
i don’t smoke, but if i did, i’d gladly share a cigarette with you.