I hung up the phone
And collapsed into myself, sobbing
The sky was honey gold with rainbows
And the ocean was a lovely royal blue
You don’t think of me in THAT way
And I wish I didn’t too
I was crying cuz I felt myself physically lose something I had come to depend on
And
I was crying with my eyes shut to pretend nothing happened
And
I was crying over that rainy Sunday morning in the parking lot
When I couldn’t flip my skateboard like you
You held my shaky hands
So that when I thought I would fall you would be right there, your calm hands in mine, your breath on my forehead,
When I fell you fell with me,
Cuz when we go down,
We go down together,
But this time, I was falling FOR you,
Tripping over my laces for you,
Head spinning for you,
Breath catching for you,
With nobody there to catch me.
first poem