The pure black anguish that sits rotting
in the absolute pit of my aching heart.

Everyday an inch of me depletes whilst hearing that wretched pitiful cry.
I wish something would change,  I wish I could erase the toxic memories that lie etched forever into the very core of my mind.

Nothing is more painful then seeing your small minded, incoherent pathetic face shrivel up and pour out a thousand hells all while I lie there knowing that you think its okay. You always think something is wrong with others around you, when its just yourself that cannot be altered.

I know life has struggle and that life brings calamity when you have already lost, but to re-live the same chapter over and over again seems like this story will never end.

As I lie on pastures 
Along the grimes of these woods
Breathing in the morning dew
I feel awakened and anew
Past sins washed away like the streaming river
Wondering if I've live till forever.

But then I look up to you. 
Your face looks shiny and 
new. The angels are gathered 
around you with their harps 
and violins. Singing that I’m free 
of my past sins. I think this is 
the beginning of something 
beautiful and not the end. Hand 
me my pallet and set the canvas 
up for I will paint a portrait of us. 
While the winds ruffle through the 
curls of your hair and the leaves of
the big old oak tree. I try to speak 
up words of love but it almost seems 
that the morning dew has set a flood 
from within. Come over dear and rest 
your bones with me while I draw this
portrait using my blood and tears. Oh 
darling won’t you rest your bones over 
here next to me under this big old oak tree.

Your beauty akin to the moon
Forever gleaming in her prowess
Shadows mortify at the thought of you
Your light begets hope thrusting miracles
I've been praying all my life
Stay with me my dear
As these woods as our witnesses 
We vow to be forever rooted from the veins to our beating hearts.
Now come closer dear and dance 
with the ventricles of my heart* ~