i think i fell in love once
but it only went down the drain
i think she had wild hair and wore a million rings
i think she had mistakes in her teeth
and when i told her i loved her
i think she said she loved me
but i can't be sure if she was real
or just another dream.

"i'm a poet," i told her, "i've never lived without a broken heart,"
then her eyes glassed over and i could tell she was going to cry
but i don't know what else to say to a girl with that much fire in her life
i feel like i'll burn around you, i say but not out loud
and labels hurt my head but this love hurts my heart
her smile sticks to my lips cause she's honey, she's art
"give me a reason to care this much, okay?
give me a reason to fall in love, okay?" she said it as if my lungs were even still capable of such things
and i stood on the edge of this roof before, wanting to fly from this place
i opened up my arms before, and hit the ground harder 'till i went insane
my doc said, "don't worry, happens all the time. just take these pills and you won't want to die." so i did but i feel numb
my heart is cold and she's my sun
but it's been so long since i've tasted love
i'm jam packing my thoughts right now
a little broken, a little lost right now
but she can weave in and out like she's never been hurt
and like she never will
"i love you," she said while abandonment played with my tongue
but still, i said it back, knowing i no longer even had it in me to love.

the first one was cocky and curly
brown eyes, strong jaw
a basketball boy who broke not only hearts
but laws.
i kissed him to forget my troubles
i kissed him to forget
i gave my all to him
even though i was not his to give
by the end of the year
he sat in the snow, crying, alone
i told him its not fun anymore, its time for me to go
i stood beside him, wanting to leave
needing to stay
i knew we'd meet again but back then? he was nothing to me.

the second one came in like a missle
i didn't have time to react
he was confident and smart
i'd always admired that
he held my hand and looked at me with greed
he ran to my house at night and in need
i spent so long saving him, i forgot to take a breath
so i left him with a note telling him how i'd never love again
at the time, i was lying, but things haven't felt the same since.

third came a girl with danger dripping in her eyes
mistakes tangled in her hair
she was alive and carefree, so i never saw her despair
i looked at her through rose colored lenses, she was perfect
she was mine
i didn't believe what others had said, even when i started seeing the truth with my own eyes
she wasn't loyal and she wasn't kind, my head had made it all up
it was hardest to leave this one,
'cause i never actually meant to fall in love.

the last girl was dark sunshine
her eyes were so grey
so blue
i felt the years on her shoulders, the world she constantly held up
the entity in her eyes trying to escape the past she knew
i wanted to make life easier for her
i taught her love, unknowing that i was only teaching her to love me
so when our time was up
on the 17th, she asked to date, you see
yes, i said out loud
no, i said in my head
i broke up with her three days later
its not my fault, to me, romance is dead.

what i gave to love you all
what i gave to break your hearts
but i had to do it
i'm a poet, i simply wouldn't survive if i was ripped apart.