I went to a party last night
with a man I only knew for five minutes
We didn't exchange names
we wanted to remain mysterious
We conversed with over 500 different strangers
all the while holding hands
We smoked some ****, got so drunk
our adrenaline was running fast
We pulled an all nighter dancing to music
we normally don't care for when we're sober
We were sweaty, hot, exhausted
and deeply attracted to each other
We made out in some random basement
but not once did he force *** on me
Instead we went to a park
and laid in some grass until five thirty in the morning
When the night was over and the sun came up
I vomited all over his lap
Instead of being a ****
he kindly held my hair back
We went to the nearest gas station
where he bought me water and some aspirin
It was then he asked me what my name was
so I told him
He took me home after breakfast at Denny's
I put my number into his phone
He thanked me for the unusual first date
I mentioned we should do it again soon
I laughed as I went into the house
letting him leave for his Mom's to go get our kids
I sat on the couch with a happy sigh
it was fun reliving the first date I had with my husband

When she left me six years ago
I was so angry at her
She was the first girl I ever confessed my feelings to
She was my first everything
I wanted nothing more than to make her happy
Yes I wanted to marry her one day
Yes I would have loved to have children with her
There was a lot I wanted to do with my life
However, I wanted her with me
I had no idea how she felt when it came to feeling stuck
If she needed time to think
I would have let her go
I wouldn't have held her back
If she wanted to leave
I would have gone with her
I would have never made her stay somewhere she didn't want to be
She should have known that
When she left
my whole world shattered
Seeing her again
it was as if I was given a second chance to be with her
All of those old feelings came back to me
I wanted nothing more than to hold her the way I used to
Then I was reminded of how much she hurt me
I meant what I said about still smelling her scent and hearing her voice
I never wanted her to drop dead
I wanted her to come back
I wanted her to include me into her plans
I wanted an explanation
Nothing makes sense without her
I should have given her a chance to explain
I was so angry at her
I'm angry at myself for still wanting her when I know she doesn't deserve me
I have never yelled at her until today
It killed me to do that
I love her so much
I always will
I ******* up
I should have let her tell her side of the story
Now she's gone again
There is nothing I can do to take back all of the awful things I said to her
There is nothing I can say or do to bring her back

I never meant to hurt him
I didn't plan to leave
I didn't plan anything then
I never thought about the consequences of my actions
If I stayed I would have ended up married young
Possibly divorced by now
I would have gotten pregnant with a child I didn't want
which would have left me stuck
It wouldn't have been the right choice for my life to stay
It wouldn't have been fair to him to make him settle
when he has so much to offer this world
I know I seem selfish
I know he thinks of me as heartless
I am not scared of love
I grew up
I can't just take risks and hope that I live happily ever after
Life doesn't work that way
I know I disgust him
I know I can never be forgiven
I should have been honest with him
but I didn't want to hurt him
A part of me will always love him
My feelings for him have not changed
I just needed to know if there was more for me out there
Turns out there is
I have found happiness and success in California
Yet none of it could ever fill the hole I have inside of my chest
from missing him so much
I ******* up
He's right
There is nothing I can do to fix the damage I have caused him

I have read so many wonderful poems,
haiku's, 10 words, so many more, and none are alike!
But we tend to forget about spoken word poems,
Hello Poetry, can you make it possible to share our spoken words as well as our massive pile on's of endless poetry. Spoken Words would add to the sight, and only make it better.
I wish I could also Use Hellopoetry on my mobile phone, in an app,
I'm not sure about anyone else, but that would maybe add to HP

Please consider what I've had to say, c:

HIM: You come here after all of these years expecting me to take you back. You must be out of your f**ing mind

HER: I don't expect you to take me back. I came here to apologize.

HIM: Is that why you're really came here? To apologize? Or to rub your presence in my face?

HER: I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for leaving you.

HIM: Where was your apology six years ago? Where was it when you left in the middle of the night not even letting me know your plans? WE had plans. I loved you and you walked all over my feelings like I was a piece of garbage.

HER: I was young! I needed a chance to live and figure out what I wanted!

HIM: THEN WHY COULDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT!!!?? INSTEAD YOU LEFT! YOU JUST LEFT! Do you have any idea how much you destroyed me and then you come back here thinking an apology is going to fix things????

HER: I don't think an apology is going to fix anything. I just need a chance to explain...

HIM: Explain what? That you were in love with me and then out of the blue you changed your mind? You went from wanting to spend your life with me to laughing at me when I told you how I felt about you. I loved you. I wanted to give you the entire world and you spat in my face. I can't sleep at night because if I concentrate hard enough I can still smell you. I can't stand to be alone because when I am I hear your voice and it rings so loud in my ears it's enough to make me throw up. Seeing you the other day and seeing you now makes me want to do nothing but kiss you yet at the same time I want to tell you to drop dead but I can't do that because my ******* is still in love with you. I am deeply in love with you and always will be but I can't ever be with you again because I can't trust you. You ruined me. There is nothing you can do to fix what you did.

HER: I had no idea...

HIM: YES YOU DID! I told you everyday and I showed you everyday. Don't act like you didn't know how much I loved you. Don't use your fear of love as an excuse to act like some victim stuck in a love story that you ******* up by running away.

It has been six years since I have seen you
you are still perfection in my eyes
Running into you at the local grocery store
was such a sweet surprise
I came home for Christmas to see my family
they told me you had moved to Chicago
When I went to the deli section to get some ham
never in a million years did I think I would run into you
You looked at me with shock in your eyes
as if you had just seen a ghost
I knew what you were thinking though
I'm the girl that you used to know
I was the girl you fell in love with in high school
only to break your heart into pieces
When you told me your feelings that summer night in the rain
I told you to get over it
Then I went away
I didn't even say a word
I packed my stuff in the middle of the night
and left like the coward I was
I went to California to make something of myself
I didn't want a man to hold me down
I didn't want a ring on my finger or a baby on my hip
I wanted nothing but my freedom
Seeing you in that grocery story
with your soft eyes still in pain
I couldn't help but be consumed with guilt
as I thought of the biggest mistake I ever made
My mistake wasn't loving you
you were the best thing that ever happened to me
My mistake was hurting you
and walking away like we didn't mean anything

I find it really offensive when people tell me they worry about me because I don't have a man in my life
"Don't you get lonely?"
"Don't you want to meet your Prince Charming?"
"Don't you want to be happy?"
"Don't you want someone to share your life with?"
"You better get out there because you won't be young forever."
"You NEED a man."
Let me take a moment to answer those questions

Yes I get lonely
That is why God gave us friends so we have someone to call when we get lonely

No I don't want to meet my Prince Charming
I am my own Prince Charming
I am strong enough to handle my own problems
I don't need a man cleaning up my messes

Who said I wasn't happy?
I have a family that grows everyday leaving me with that much more people to love
I have friends who encourage me to be my goofy self which makes me confident to be myself
I have my poetry, I have music, I have other things that bring my heart joy
I don't have time to be unhappy
There is more to life than men

Yes I would like someone to share my life with but I'm not rushing things
Love is not something that you can rush
It happens in it's own time
I've been around long enough to know that things always work out the way they should
I have no time to have anxiety about something that I cannot control

My age does not determine my future relationship status
People can fall in love at any age
Don't try to use age as a way to scare me into something I am not ready for

I do not NEED a man
I will be with someone because I want to be
NEED makes you desperate
WANT means you know what you are getting yourself into
Even the most healthy relationships end sometimes
If you NEED a man to feel good about yourself
you still have insecurity issues that need to be dealt with
How can you love someone else if you can't love yourself?
You can't

The worlds outlook on love is beyond messed up
Love is more than meeting someone, marrying them and so on
It's about letting someone into your heart and allowing them to love the parts of you that you thought could never be loved
Love is about putting someone else ahead of yourself
Love is about encouragement, acceptance, happiness and growth
Not ***, fighting, divorce and being forced into something you don't want to do
Love is finding someone you collide with perfectly and still finding happiness in each other even when the rest of the world is doing all it can to see you miserable

Life is full of possibilities
Let me live my life
Let me enjoy my happiness the way it is
Stop trying to change my personal happiness