How can I rest
When time resides outside my door?
A year passed and you're still a guest
And the ashes of the bed you set on fire
Are still all over the floor.

Memorizing your details,
The triggers and the fails
Is as marvelous as victory
As wholesome as writing history.

Your wires trap my mind
And time pokes at me as I fall behind
Restless, paranoid and blind
Every time you show up I call it a disater
But I always swallow my fright
Because you're not a monster
You're not a demon even though you bite.
You're not a test and a not a present
Could be a difficult friend that's somehow pleasant.

Now we sleep side by side
And every night we stare at the moon
You whisper, "You're just as phenomenal."
It's good for my pride
"You're divine and astral."
We giggle together and you turn hominal
I feel bad it's almost fun
But a kiss with a a fist is better than none.

My wounds open and in comes the light
Embracing every emotion,
Repeating it's alright.
It is true I am still as bright.
My mom thinks my fractured beauty is tragic
But I am powerful and I radiate magic.

Every night I forgive you
We dance together and I sing to you
"Could I too be forgiven
After I gave life to you?"