She said she wanted to be treated like a goddess-
So I praised her mind, her humor, her beauty.
Yet she wasn't happy.

I offered her my love, my time, gifts, and acceptance
But she was unimpressed by it.  

Head bent I worshipped her body
And she wanted more.
I wished to give her everything-
I was so devoted to her.

I tried to write what she meant to me- explain how I'd be lost without her.
Still my words didn't seem to matter.

She wanted to be treated like a goddess.
She wanted sacrifice and pain.
So she ripped out my heart
And spat out my name.

You bit my lips,
Then traced them with your fingertips.
You left me speechless.

You pierced my skin,
Like breaking in,
Straight through my defenses,
You made me helpless.

You ripped out my eyes, so I couldn't see.
I became blind so I could choose to believe
That you could choose to suffer loyalty,
That you were actually looking at me.

And you numbed my brain,
My thoughts entangled,
My sense disabled
It felt like a migraine.

I covered my ears,
From your words I couldn't bear to hear.
You were bored by my tears.
I once held you dear.
You were becoming my worst fear.

My heart you hurt worst of all.
The pain was often dull, but it dragged on and on.

You kissed my forehead,
Imprinting the feel of your lips onto my brain.
You kissed my stomach,
And gave it butterflies.
You kissed my lips,
With yours ever full of lies.
You kissed the lids of my eyes,
And I saw our future together.
You kissed my neck,
And I craved you.
You kissed my hand,
Though you usually held it.
Last time you did this you kissed me goodbye,
This time you didn't even smile.
That's how I knew you meant it,
And that this time it was permanent.

I sing myself ballads,
And cry o'er your letters.
You said this would be better,
Did you forget what we had?

Lovesick, delirious.
I'm thinking of us,
All of that love
That there once was.

Dear, you've forgotten me.
Stranger, you loved me.

It's been five months.
It hurts to even write that, more than my flowery words can describe.
Such a long time,
Yet it feels like yesterday that you were mine.
I've been lying.
For five months I've been telling them I'm over it. Over you.
I was lying to myself too.

The truth, dear, is that it still hurts just as much right now as the moment when you said you didn't love me.
God, I remember it perfectly.
And secretly, even more pathetically, I still love you as much as I did then,
And as I did five months in.

I thought it would help if I hated you,
But that's exhausting.
I thought I needed time alone,
I made myself lonely so I could be whole on my own.
I thought I needed to move on,
I've done that, like I ought.
My darling, he's sweet, and smart, he makes me laugh, why is it not enough?
He's good but we'll never be in love.
I thought I just needed time.
But it's been five months.

The sadistic little cherub.
Inflicting painful love.
He isn't sensible, he isn't kind.
He doesn't care- for heart or mind.
He flies on fluffy angelic wings.
And golden arrows he absently flings.
He hits his target every time.
To make a sane man's pain sublime.
Into the hearts of unsuspecting victims.
He pierces and then watches
them.
Falling in with reckless loves.
Fools and martyrs they become.
And all for a baby angel's fun.

It's too late now, the damage is done.
A deal has been won,
My heart for your soul.

I don't miss you.
I miss being held really tight.
I don't miss you,
I miss having someone to sleep beside at night.

I don't miss you,
I miss being kissed sweetly.
I miss hearing someone say they love me.
I miss laughing together,
I miss arguing about who was funnier.
I miss being myself with someone else,
I miss having someone who knew me so well.
But I don't miss you.

I don't miss being ignored,
I don't miss wondering if I was truly yours,
I don't miss finding naked pictures of other girls,
I don't miss you acting so bored.
I don't miss your hurtful words,
I don't miss the broken oaths you swore.
I don't miss you.

I miss your deep blue eyes though,
They were so calming.
I miss you giving me the fluffier pillow,
A small gesture, but it wasn't wasted on me.
I miss your kisses on my forehead and nose.
I miss your laugh, your smile,
I cherished those.
I missed you singing to me,
Such a terrible voice- I found it so comforting.
I miss the hands that held mine,
I miss how our bodies intertwined,
I miss seeing the love in your eyes.
Maybe I do…

No. I can't miss you.
You don't miss me.
Being hung up on you would make me vulnerable, weak.
Something I can't allow myself to be.
That's how boys like you hurt girls like me.
I don't miss you, really
I miss who I thought you were,
not who you turned out to be.

I know he'll never make me happy.
He'll never make me laugh until I can't breathe.
He'll never get past the walls I've built up to protect a heart that's been broken already.
I'll never truly love him.

But that's okay; tolerable.
Because he'll also never hurt me.
He'll never make me happy but I don't care.
As long as he never makes me miserable.

What more can you even take?
******* for making me feel like a mistake.
I would still give you everything-
If you just wouldn't take all of it away.
I wish I didn't still care so much about you.

Maybe, maybe you don't love me,
But you could still care?
You no longer want me,
But when I'm hurt you could still be there.
No. That's silly.
I'm sorry, I know you don't love me,
And I shouldn't love you.

You couldn't have hurt me so much when I was hopeless-
When I had nothing to lose.
******* for showing me what it was to feel bliss,
And then to feel worthless and used.
I hate that even now I need you.

You made me happy, you made me pathetic.
******* for hurting me,
Just know you'll regret it.
Because you always do.
It's a cycle, I know you.
What's most messed up is I want you to come back again-
Want to give you another chance.

I remember when you held my broken pieces in those cold hands of yours,
Let's try again and maybe the pain will stop before my heart does.
My fleeting uncaring weak dear love.
No. Not mine.
But I'm yours.
Forever yours,

I hear couples say "No I love you more"
Back and forth
Like its the cutest thing,
But it's so heartbreaking.

I love you enough to let you treat me poorly because you don't love me more.
Acknowledging that some has to "love you more" means that person loses.
Because you'll give what you will but they're all in on this.
"I love you more" means the same as
"You love me less"
Isn't that horrible?

You show me no sympathy,
But still you love me.
In your way you do-
Not the same as I love you.

I'd give you anything.
I love you more-
So you can hurt me.
Maybe I want more from you.

I stay up all night to hold you because you shake from the nightmares in your sleep.
But you look bored when I'm sitting here crying.
"I love you more" isn't romantic- it's a tragedy.

You don't look at me the way I look at you.
Your eyes say "affection"
And mine say "I'm devoted to you".
Love always seems to hurt more for one person.

You need to get stronger on your own.*
How?
Even body builders need a spotter.
Someone to take the pressure off when the weight just gets to be too much and threatens to crush them.
Help me, please, I can't hold my own anymore and every second I'm doing all I can to keep from letting my strained fingers slip.
But I can't bear this much alone, and when I inevitably let it fall upon me don't ask why I was so weak.

Ever since I first nervously stuttered out "I think I love you" to you in my car almost a year ago it's been easier for me.
I never said that to anyone,
the man before you never heard it.
I wouldn't even say it to my own family.
But I felt safe saying it to you
I love you I love you I love you too

It just rolled of my tongue.
You're such a dork- I love you
I told you all the time so you'd never forget-
You can be pretty forgetful.
I told you I did when I was sad and you just held me and let me cry.
I told you when I saw it in your eyes,
I said it when you made me laugh and smile,
When you were hurting and just needed to feel love for awhile.
I'd whisper it to you like a secret,
Or yell it so all the world could hear it.

I reminded you every night before you fell asleep,
Or whenever I had to leave.
I said it seriously, a promise.
You'll always have a place in my heart, never forget this.

I smiled whenever you said it.
But then you said you just didn't.
And now I'm afraid that I'll say it again, let it slip.
Every time I say "Goodbye," I start to finish it with "love you.", but that's not my place.
You don't want to hear that, I'll try harder next time to not let those damning words escape.

You hurt me,
I forgave you.

I was forced to go,
You took me back.

You weren't very faithful,
I forgot it.

I cried because you broke my heart,
And seeing that broke yours.

You left and treated me like ****,
I took you back because we both don't like being alone.

I had moved on,
Because you told me to.

You showered me with love and affection,
I hoped this time it wouldn't be temporary.

I was cautious at first,
You got me not to be.

You said this time would be different (you always did),
I believed you (I always do).

You treated me like I was unimportant,
That was okay, I'm used to it.

I gave you everything I had,
You were happy to take it.

You used me,
I accepted it because you made the bad thoughts go away.

I put myself through hell to make you happy,
You said I was being clingy.

You were hurting inside,
So I comforted you.

I needed a hug,
You needed your space.

You became distant,
I felt alone.

Every fraction of my life fell apart,
And you jumped ship like a coward.

You were cold and uncaring,
I cried myself to sleep.

I was going to surprise you for our one year anniversary,
You beat me to it by abandoning me.

There's this girl I see a lot.
We don't talk much, maybe just a few remarks occasionally.

I'm ******* her.
I don't give her any credit.
Why should I when no one else is going to?
God but she's a wreck.
Sure she can paint on all the expensive makeup and bright smiles she wants but I know.

I see her.  
That pretty white smile beneath her plump pink lips- fake.
The ***** cries herself to sleep most nights.
So weak.

Half the time I see her she's trying to fix herself and the other half she's crying because she can't.
What a mess.
I should just reach through the glass and end her.

Pretty angel don't follow me to hell.
I'm a sinner caught under your spell.
If you dare move a step I'll let go-
But if you stay in place I'll implode.

I didn't fall in love with you the first time you made me moan softly into your chest.
Stupid boy, I didn't fall in love with you when you touched my *******.
These physical sensations would mean nothing me,
Were they not with the one I love so truly.

You must understand that in my mind love and *** are connected.

I think I fell in love with you gradually,
It didn't happen so quickly for me.
It started when I saw how sweetly you blushed and stammered when asking me to be yours,
Then continued when you said I was the most beautiful girl in the world.

Darling, I don't just love you for the good times,
It's not been solely through bliss that you've become mine.
When everything seems to go to hell,
You hold my hand and make me well.

When I've hated you-
Threatened to slap the face I now caress,
I swear I still loved you nonetheless.

I can't take this.
There's no point to my existence.
Useless.

Did you think I was kidding when I said I wanted to die?
And you thought it was due to some silly guy.
No. It's more than that.
No matter what I do I just drive everyone away and make them mad.
So I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment and thorn in your side.
I'm sorry for all the times I let you down and when I lied.

I'm sorry if you're sad when I'm gone but trust me, soon you'll be relieved.

He's fire-
With flames ever soaring,
My heart they're engulfing-
Destroy everything around.
He burns me away
And I love the pain.
I scream and the fire swallows it down.
He devours me whole
And scorches my soul.
God it hurts-
But I want more.

You're the rain.
I ride out your storms
Because inside I'm torn
On whether or not I should stay.
When it burns and I'm all dried out and alone
You send me a shower of love and of home.
Sometimes you trickle down softly,
So comforting,
But sometimes you leave me with a drought
and I'm prone to fire.
When you're gone too long I build my funeral pyre.

I love the rain but I'm enchanted by flames.
One soothes and washes away the pain,
The other will **** me-
I'm sure of this.
But the burning is such awful bliss.

Turn me to ash and I'll smile as I fade away into nothing,
Yet I complain to you that I'm drowning.
This is what I wanted.
To be quenched.
But I'm a pyro and I'm making a habit of it.

God bring me a storm and I'll dance in it.
Love, rain once again and I'll get my hair wet.
Because I don't need fire, it's dangerous.
But I love the rain for all its nourishment.

My thoughts frizz and sizzle away incoherently
Killed too soon by my anxiety.
You asked what's wrong with me
And thought I was exaggerating when I said everything.

Write. Write it down- make it rhyme.
That'll clear my mind
Stop the darkness from clawing it's way outside.
Make a list- that's what she makes me do.
Make lists for everything from weekly chores to properly cleaning each room.
Lists lists lists lists lists.
I can't take this.

Anxiety. That's something wrong with me.
Why right now I'm crying in fetal position shaking violently.
Introversion. I'm scared of my own voice- though I've been taught it's a voice that's wrong and insignificant-
I'm scared of it.
Weakness. I can't stand up for myself
Protect myself from this awful hell.
I can't be good enough.
Never good enough.

You said this was the end forever.
You promised me this would be better.
You swore you wouldn't become a stranger.
Before you left you kissed me twice and the second time you lingered.

But in all the days since,
I've not gotten a single look, a word, a kiss.
You've replaced me with an empty distance.
I wish you would've said yes when I asked if I'd be missed.

You held me to make the panic attacks go away.
You sat down beside me when I begged for a few more minutes you'd stay.
You said leaving me wasn't easy-
But now I'm dead to you today.

You said this wasn't the end.
That even though you were leaving you'd be back again.
That even if I wasn't yours I could still be your best friend.
I should've known your words were just pretend.

They're right, it's me.
I'm my own worst enemy.
It's all my fault- I'm the problem,
Or at least the root of all of them.
If I could just live up to their expectations they wouldn't treat me this way.
If I weren't so needy someone would want to stay.
I was being selfish trying to run away.
No they're right, they're right.
If only I could sink into the night...
I'll never have anyone.
Never succeed at anything.
I'm a failure and a ****-up and that's all I'll ever be.
It was wrong of me to blame them,
It's probably just me being crazy again.
I'll never be free
Because I can't support myself financially-
In this ******* economy no one is hiring.
Losing this life will mean nothing to me,
It's not mine after all- no, not really.
It's theirs.
They make my decisions, decide where I go.
Dictate how I should appear and who I should know.
Change my hair and style and wear warm-weather clothes so the scars do not show.
Please don't be mad at me for letting it go
A girl can't survive deprived of hope and alone.

She ****** you up.
He did the same to me.
Just promise we won't do it to each other.

I can't make you keep loving me.
I can't keep you from leaving.
I can't keep my heart from breaking,
Or convince you I'm worth keeping.

I'll probably always be this clingy.
I know you hate that I'm so needy.
But it doesn't matter anymore cuz you don't want me.

You can deny it if you wish.
But I knew something was amiss,
Since that first time you dodged my waiting lips.
I wish I could make it all better, that I wasn't like this.

Doesn't matter anymore.
I have no new places on my body for you to explore.
Take my heart with you as away you soar.
I'll be still here, always your girl.

I know you're right here in my arms-
Yet I feel you slipping away.
We fight again but this time
You don't try to make me stay.

You told me to leave,
Leave, leave you.
As if you thought I ever could.
You want me to go, go on without you,
Like you really thought I would.
And what hurts the most is that you didn't try to deny it when I said,
You'd let me go so easily?
Be gone and to you be dead.
And you didn't seem to care when I told you how badly, you'd hurt me.
And you didn't try to say sorry.
Guess you don't need me-
Won't stop me from leaving.
You seem to be done,
And to think, I love you like I've never loved anyone.

I know I'm needy,
But I just wanted you to need me.
I feel like we've fallen apart,
And I'm losing the other half of my heart.

Today a friend asked how I was.
I said I don't know,
Because I don't.
When I can't take any more,
I shut it all down.
Emotions good or bad in me cannot be found.
When I can't take it anymore,
I don't.
So I don't know how I am.
I was probably bad if I chose to do this again.
Maybe things have been better recently,
I can't risk it though.

Today was my birthday.
So why am I not feeling okay?
I'm legally an adult today and that's exciting right?
I'll be able to tell once I stop crying.

Today celebrates me being alive, I shouldn't wish to be dead.
Maybe it's because it didn't feel special.
A few half-hearted "happy birthday"s and that's all.
Or maybe it's because I'm off my meds.

So there's this thing.
There's this hell of a thing that's been bothering me.
And as I write this out I don't know whether when (if) you read it,
It will make you sad and distant or you'll just grab my hand and call me silly.

You keep telling me you'll love me "forever and always" but just now you admitted you might not.
You've validated my fear that you may someday find someone more beautiful, less crazy, more hot.
And he or she might be all of the wonderful things that you deserve that I am not.

What if we break up again and you don't take me back?
What if you find someone who has all the things I lack?
What if one day you realize you don't love me anymore?
You're already sometimes unsure.

I feel stupid for being so certain about us when you can't be.
I get so scared that one day you won't want me.

Well even if you aren't sure of how you'll feel in ten years, I am.
Even when it's hell being with you, God knows it will always beat not having you.
I just hope you figure it out.
I wish you could say you want me forever starting right now.

There was a time he was crazy about me.
There was one time he called me pretty.
I think back then I often thought about him.
That was the time when I could call him my friend.

Once (long ago) he used to hold my hand.
Was long ago he could call himself my man.
There was a time when I was sad he left me.
My first romance, I was so naive.
I let a stupid boy mistreat me.

Back when he could crush my self-esteem
In his bony hands.
There was a time when we were happy together-
Before I knew I should be treated better.
I'm so glad that now I understand.

Think of it now, he never gave me a compliment.
Because he stopped being attracted to me (I don't get it).
He wasn't kind,
He was never truly mine.

He was terrible and I never knew
But I used to think that it was okay,
There was a time he hurt me with the things he'd say.
A long time ago he wasted my time,
Yet I accepted his every crime.
That was in another life, before I met you.

I may put this poem up again someday but for now I've taken it down because the person I wrote it about found it and used it to mock me and showed it to others so they could laugh in my face.

If I run away will you run away with me?
Oh, if I run away will you run away with me?
We could go to California, or up to New York City.
I don't care, just come along with me.
We could take a train, a boat, a car, or a limo.
So long as where I go you'll go.
We could go by helicopter, bike, steamboat, or horse.
We'll go south or north...
I don't care.
So long as you're there.

Yeah, if I run away will you run away with me?
Let's escape our troubles, you know we've got too many,
But I've got a way out, don't you dare tell anybody!
I'm running away- I'll be gone before the moon.
Say goodbye to my family, I won't be seeing them soon.
Oh, sweetheart, I know our love is new.
But I think this could be it and I'm getting outta here with you!

Oh, if I run away will you run away with me?
Won't pack my purses, or my fancy shoes.
There's just one I need to take and that'd be you.
Take my hand, we'll be there shortly.
Let me rest against your shoulder,
Together let's grow older,
Forever's not so long with you baby.

Come run away with me.
My parents hate you...
But lately they hate me too!
So let's get on out of this place,
I need a new start.
I can write poetry and you can play your guitar.

Dear Lord please,
I know I haven't been the most devout lately-
But I still do pray, to beg aid of Thee.
My pastor said You promise to never give us more than we can handle,
But this is too much.
I want some bit of relief, just a little touch.
My old favorite teacher can't stand me and its reflecting in my grades.
I thought this year would be easier- that's what I'd heard people say,
That was the general rule.
But this year is killing me.
My grades are slipping,
Mind deteriorating,
Sanity drifting...
Lord please help me with school.

My parents are yelling all the time,
At me or each other.
They accuse me of every crime-
Innocent or guilty, they don't care.
So long as I don't cause problems, do everything perfectly, and be sure to maintain my hair.
I begin to wonder if I'd be better off with my estranged narcissistic mother...
My friends hate me.
I'm not exaggerating, just stating facts simply.
They spread rumors and snicker behind my back,
About the apparent virtues and wisdom I lack.
They tell lies, make assumptions, and bully me to tears.
I feel a piece of me die every time I choose to ignore their sneers.
I don't have nice friends, I don't loving family.
Lord, please help people not to hate me.

Then there's this last thing, this weigh on my mind.
The knowledge of this burden, is only a friend's and mine.
I cannot tell my family or jeering friends,
Or even my sweet beloved boyfriend.
I don't know what to do-
Please don't let my fears come true.
The stress, the hatred, the failure, the depression- its killing me.
Lord, please preserve me and save me from suffocating.
So this is me, begging for undeserved salvation again.
Amen.

If I could write you better poetry,
You would hear the sweetest lyrics from me.
But my words never can compare to you,
They're a poor reflection of my sweet muse.

You really aren't understanding me at all.
So let's pretend it was my leg that was broken instead of my head and my heart.
I've crafted a metaphor-
In hopes you'll understand me better.

I broke my leg and it's quite terrible.
But you still expect me to walk, even though I'm unable.
What is wrong with me?!
I should be able to walk, to run, to not be so helpless and needy.
Even toddlers can walk so why can't I?!
It's easy, you think I just need to try.
I am trying-
But you think I'm lying.
I'm walking on the leg that hurts so much,
To try to please you.
Doing permanent damage and still failing.
Every now and again completely falling to the ground flailing.
Oh not this again!
Get up!
Stop faking!
You're fine!
Walking is easy!!
It needs time to heal, it needs care and time.
I'm acting so overdramatic- it's really a crime.
I'm a disappointment.
I should be better than this.
I should be able to walk-
But my leg is broken and trying to walk on it is just making it worse.

I know I'm being selfish,
I know he's your best friend.
You say I shouldn't be jealous,
Or wish for his life to end.

But, my love, that doesn't change a thing for me.
I still hate him with all I have, unfortunately.
I wanted to give you an ultimatum;
You can be with me or you can hang with him.

But that wasn't fair to you.
So tell me, what do I do?
For I must consider, what is fair to me too.
And stop fantasizing- about slicing his face in two.

If you'd been unfaithful with someone worthy,
I think it'd be different.
If it'd been someone on a level with you and me-
Not this **** of the earth, your best friend.

It shouldn't **** me to see you two talk together.
I shouldn't still wish to watch him die of cancer.
But, my darling, you know I still do.
I can't stop hating him like I can't stop loving you.

Play me a song, my love.
Pick up your guitar.
I think I've got the lyrics thus far.
Play me a tune, darling.
Make it soft and sweet- for me.
I know you like to play fast but for once let's take it slow. Oh oh.

One, *two,
I love you.
Three, four,
You made me love you more.
Five, six,
You **** at faithfulness.
Seven, eight,
I'm filled with hurt and hate.
Nine, ten,
I just wanna be yours again.

I'm getting better at coping with this ******* but it just keeps piling on.
I'm stuck here singing the same old song-
About how I've been wronged.
About how I've suffered.
About all the things I've lost both to enemies and to lovers.
If I reach out to anyone, those I loved and depend on will surely leave me.
But if I keep it inside, I know I'll lose myself completely.
I guess what I'm saying, is I'm all alone-
And I hate that feeling.
I've lost touch with reality!

Hate, love, love-hate,
Basically it's all the same.
Doesn't matter what they say, they'll all hurt you anyway.
I may sound like a broken record,
But I'm just a broken heart.
I feel like I'm bleeding out,
It's only good for my art.

I had just one who loved me,
And who always treated me kindly.
But he sealed our fate with infidelity.
Oh remove my heart please!
For I tire of it's melancholy beat.

I hate you.
Almost as much as I love you.
I've been fantasizing about stabbing you in the legs the way I used to fantasize about kissing your face.
I thought that I had one person I could always count on,
I just knew you'd never betray me.
Guess I was wrong.

You broke my heart,
I want to break your spine.
You make the worst ex ever, and now you're mine.

I want to hurt you the way you hurt me.
I want to stuff glass into your arteries.
I want you to stop saying you're sorry.
I want you to invent a time machine,
So this'll never've happened.
So neither of us will've learned this lesson.

"Darling you're the world to me"
"My love, you make me so happy"
What an idiot I was to believe these things.
Now you've got me writing slam poetry
Because I figure it's better than murdering you-
And that little ***** you ****** too.

You were drunk!
You felt alone,
You were confused,
And guess who was right there to comfort you?
That's no excuse.
I sure hope going down on someone new,
Was worth throwing that rare and beautiful thing we had away.
I never knew someone could hurt me this way.
Oh and by the way, I hate you.

Readers of this poem may call me a narcissist,
But I wish to list the positives.
In a life full of negatives-
God knows I need them.

I stopped cutting,
It's been hard but I did it.
I wish I could say I'm proud of me,
Because I'm the only one who's noticed.

I haven't disobeyed my parents by driving others in my car.
And I've been good and my boyfriend and I haven't gone very far.
That's about it,
Other than that I'm failing and I feel like ****.

Being almost 18 is like purgatory,
Or at least it is for me.
A state of in between-
I hate being a teen.

Almost old enough to live on your own,
But there's school and no money so where would you go?
Not wanted at either house, you're already alone.
There's the screaming and throwing things with good intent,
Or the house you could never go back to again.

That's why it's purgatory.
Stuck in between and living though I'm not here, not really.
My soul is on a ten- year vacation, I hope it comes back well.
Maybe this isn't purgatory, maybe it's more like hell.

And all that I wish I could say,
I'll keep inside so you won't see.
Cuz when I'm hurt I tend to push others away.
I know that it's not healthy.
But I do it anyway.
Why'd you ever choose, to love me?

You know, it's kind of *******.
The people who say "Just talk to me when it's bad and you want to end it"
That those are the last people you'd want to tell.
You love them and you don't want them to worry.
Why should they too feel my hell?
They needn't be upset anymore by me.
You know they'd help because they love you.
But you don't ever want them sad and concerned just because you can't deal with things since you love them too.
I guess that's irony.

You'd only miss me because it's what you're supposed to do.
You'd miss me because you wouldn't remember that all I can do is **** up and hurt you.
All the times I've made you cry, how could you forget?
You'd just remember the good, to you that would be it.
I can only hurt you when I'm here because I'm a terrible person.
And I'd hurt you if I leave because you'd just remember the good parts- against all rightful reason.
I'm flawed and selfish and evil and that's not okay.
But if I left so I could spare you you wouldn't remember it that way.
Either way I'll hurt you and that's not fair.
It's a lose-lose situation and all I can see is that I leave only tears and ruins everywhere.
Would it help or hurt if I left a note?
Would it be something to comfort you or a reminder I felt this way long enough to sit down calmly and think about what I wrote?
I see no solution,
Like division by zero.
I'll only be speeding up the process of losing and ruining you if I do choose to go.
It's not your fault it's mine.
I know that now and that's why I'll be leaving you behind.

I'm jealous of your skinny jeans.
They hug you tighter than I do and they spend all day with you.
They feel places of your body I've never felt
And know your contours better than I do.
I'm jealous of your skinny jeans.

Despite what you think you're a pretty smart guy
But you're so dumb sometimes.
Why is it you see yourself in such a negative light?
Don't you know I love you?
Shouldn't the depth of my devotion be enough proof-
That you're nothing less than totally devine?
Silly self-reproaching boy, I'll be sure you never feel imperfect so long as you're mine.
I'll make you love you,
Like I do.

Sure I'm upset, I feel hated and used.
But don't be confused-
I don't wish to die.
What a waste of a wish, and on a wretch such as I.
If I had a wish I wouldn't use it for death.
If I had a wish it wouldn't be for this to be my last breath.
If I could wish and that wish could come true,
I think I'd wish everyone could be as good to me as you.

I woke up this morning thinking I was okay.
But then I remembered and now once again there are tears streaking my face.

You stand me up, you let me down.
So you and her, can **** around.
You know I love you but that's not what this is about.
I just want her out.

She's a *****, oh she's controlling.
And when she's around you are so rude to me.
Oh best friend, stop this nonsense please.
You are acting, like such a baby.

You think you two are meant to be,
Just cuz you were both cheated on-
Oh please!
Why don't you see?
She's no good for you,
Take it from me.
She will break your heart, when she leaves.
Your second-rate lover.
Oh silly boy, you couldn't love her.

She is stupid, and you're naive.
To think that girl could make you happy.
I know you,
You know me too.
You tell me you're fine but is that the truth?

I can't watch this,
I won't allow it.
You're being stupid.
Oh this is *******.

You and I,
We always fight,
But not like that-
It isn't right
How she hurts you.
She is so cruel.

She thinks I'm jealous,
When I see you two kiss.
When all I'm thinkin is "What a *****"
You don't deserve to be hurt like this.

You stay home so she can yell.
I'm at a party with our friends when she tells you 'go to hell'.
Oh well, well.
These are more than just lovers' quarrels,
What do you see in that girl?
I hate her.
I hate her.
Oh.

When this is over, I'll still be your friend.
I'll put you back together (again).