Feeling an anger that rumbles and rolls in my stomach
as it plots to ***** out fire-y words of disappointment

Trying to tame the flames that tear through my intestines and
rage deep into my heart tissue

I am so angry at you. I am so angry

So heated
I am sweating, I am crying, I am melting,
I am swimming through myself and
my personal pits of fire

I desperately want your cool water to put me out
but you’ve refilled yourself with flammable lies that fuel my wildfires to grow
so big they decimate me

I wonder why there aren’t any sirens,
why isn’t there anyone
to extinguish this feeling inferno

But you are the fireman and
you’ve quit your job
so I am left here to burn myself to the ground, I am left to become ashes and soot

Indistinguishable bits and pieces of myself cover the floor, sitting in one big ashy pile,
but the flame is extinguished.
Why did you feed me fire
if you know how much it burns?

dont even know how to put into words
how much i hate feeling

when my heart begins to tender
i succumb to deep bitterness

i hate sharing my feelings
i hate having my feelings

i hate having them for someone
i hate you on my mind

forget that i wasted 17 months
sitting alone in my bed is painful enough
hate myself for waiting around for you
even though i knew you werent there
you couldnt even put one foot through the door

but here i was
not even just one foot through the door
but i already entered the house
somehow ready to throw away my own home
for a ****** one with you

lost myself for a while in there
and there are still bits and pieces lying around
tucked away in little corners
waiting for me to find them
so i can leave that shoddy house whole again

trying to put my foot back out that door
but youre pulling me back inside
and i cant even go breathe fresh air anymore
all cramped up in this shack together
but you tell me its ok

but you see, its not okay
and i wont be locked here much longer
when i find the moment where i feel strong
im bolting out the front door
and i am NEVER looking back

good new things
bad has ended
tears linger in my eyes

not so sure
how i ended up here
but its a necessary destination

i felt stuck
now im free
but i forgot how to do it by myself

want to go back
but i know its wrong
why is this so complicated

Never to be loved in the same way
always unrequited
oh how it feels so cold
alone in my own personal abyss

Somehow it feels like it never ends
im always falling by myself
no one around to catch me
or to hold me

Clutching myself for something, anything
no one to come bring me back to earth
no one to wrap their arms around me
and to haul me to the ground

Alone and floating
isolated and so tired
never enough to be whole
always enough to recognize it

Won’t someone come
come and bring me home
remove me from the icy grasp
and melt me once again

feelings pierce me
gut me
grasp me
**** me

and each and everytime they force me down
they then pick me back up
patch up my wounds
and wait again to pierce my healing scars

lying to myself
and lying to you
saying I don't love you
but oh boy I really do

heart strong stays strong
throughout the day
but as night crawls in
my tears come out to play

my body aches for love
but only if its yours
and waiting in this grey zone
is covering me in sores

I feel like I'm in pain
with all the feelings I clutter
but theres nothing I can say
because your heart will never flutter