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Lustus Nov 2017
Where is that girl?
The girl that took a T and two buses to surprise me with flowers?
Where is that girl that brought me to life?

Where is that girl go that held her head high and loved so hard?
Where is that girl that drew me pictures, sang, and played the guitar for me?
Where is that girl...?

Who took her away?
Who Changed the way the wind was Blowing?
Who gave her all of this hurt?

Where did the girl that played board games at the dinner table with me?
Where did that girl who called me her medicine, her home, her love...go?
I miss that girl

I miss that girl who wanted me to sit next to her and hold her close always
I miss the girl who was quiet when she was upset
I miss the girl that never wanted me to worry about a thing...

I don't miss the girl who wanted to have long drawn out arguments about the smallest things
I don't miss the girl who said hurtful things when she got mad
I don't miss the girl who pretended

Pretended that she knew what she wanted out of life
The girl that painted such a beautiful picture of our life together
The girl that took me around a favorite neighborhood of hers to look at houses...
The girl that talked about having kids

This girl painted pictures that I didn't even see
This girl now played guitar and sang when no one was around
That's not the girl I miss

This new angry, hurt, and hurtful person is not the girl I miss...

Where is that girl...?

Lost behind walls of uncertainty; latching onto anything...
Just to feel less alone
To not feel anything at all

I don't know that girl
The beautiful, soulful, strong woman I fell head over heals in love with
Is
Gone...
Lustus Oct 2017
The back of the couch stays up
There's only one dish
One glass
One placemat
One piece of silverware in the sink
One set of work shoes
One set of keys
One side of the bed gets rested on
No one to press up against at night
The wine doesn't last

Trying to
Hoping I can
Wishing one day
One day you'll figure out what you lost
Hoping you
Allow yourself to feeeeel something at some point

Drops of water seem to have been temporarily tattooed on my face for the past month
My heart hurts
#love #life
Lustus Oct 2017
Today the leaves change
The roots of a tree die  
Today the sky opens up and buckets of rain fall healing the world of thirst
My mouth is dry

Today there is an echo
The house is nearly empty
Today there is no home
The house is nearly empty
Today there is no silence
The sound of a heart aches

Today there are no nightmares
There are only crushed dreams
Today the trees fall
Obstacles and challenges await

Today there is an echo
The house is nearly empty
Today there is no home
The house is nearly empty
Today there is no silence
The sound of a heart aches

Today it is time to plant new trees, drink the water, strengthen the heart, and fight obstacles, fill the house with joy, find some comfort, chase dreams, and create a new home
Lustus Mar 2015
The way your hands fit so well across the small of my back
The way you glance at me from the bottom of the bed
The way that sometimes it felt like we were the only two people that existed in the world

I miss the way we were

Dance with me
Play music with me
Talk to me
Laugh with me always

Let that never stop...

Our friendship is forever
Our love is pure
I miss the going to bed laughing with you at night
And waking up with you in the morning
The confidence you have in me
Our attachment to one another

I miss the way we were

I love the way we are
Always
  Feb 2015 Lustus
Camellia-Japonica
A snifter of brandy leads to another
Soon I'll be tipsy, melancholy and discover
that two brandies do not an alcoholic make,
but a bottle? Now there's the shake.
This brandy brews the blues.
It's Amber caramel softness soothes your soul,
but screams the blues.
Your muse is lost in this bruise of blues
Like a long note on a saxophone disappearing.
Let's take a ride on down to the crossroads,
I'll bring the bottle, you bring the bottleneck slide.
© JLB
06/02/2015
19:20 GMT
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