I spent a long time telling myself that things are okay
I spent a long time telling myself that things will be different when i get home
I spent a long time telling myself that i would never go back
I spent a long time telling myself that i need to be back where i was
Ive spent so long telling myself things that i cant remember what was fact and what is simply how i got through that bad day
Ive lost all sense that reality will set in again

I cant look at myself

My lips were the ones you kissed
And every time that I put on lipstick
I am reminded what hot passion tastes like
I'm not sure I'll ever taste that again

My eyes were the ones that you stared into as you told me you loved me
The ones you said you could never stop staring into
But you did

My arms were the ones you carressed
You said "I'm so glad that there are no tears in your skin"
You kissed the scars that the nothingness had left behind
I dont know if my arms will ever be whole again

My hair
That you pulled in passion and played with in boredom
My feet
That you touched and laughed how i hated that
My hands
That you held for the first time and told me you never wanted to let go
My legs
That you ran your hands down and said were beautiful

My heart
The one that you took into your hands
And instead of protecting such a delicate thing
You threw it on the floor and laughed

A smoker quits for 2 and a half months
After the months away
She doesnt crave for a smoke
Often she thinks
If someone were to offer her one she wouldnt say no

The offer arrives
Just a puff
A taste

Its not enough

She begs for the full cigarette
After finishing it off
The headrush comes
The feeling of fullness
Tic toc tic toc

The high is gone
The addiction sets in
Its only been a moment
But she wants another
She wants to feel again

She knows she has spent two months without
But with only that one little touch
That minute of bliss
The hook is back
All she can think about
Is this feeling she is missing

"Drop the addiction
Be free"
Her mind begs
later she caves and asks
"Can i just have one more"

A cigarette is not nearly as addictive as you