Sometimes people paint you in ink,
Thick black layers of mind tricks.

Sometimes people try to paint,
Over your insecurities and mistakes.

My migraines are clouds,
Distorting my mind.

My emotions feel empty,
I'm numb to this life.

I played with fire,
So my skin was burnt.

I jumped in the ocean,
I felt my lungs fill up.

Depression and obsession,
I feel sick to the core.

Flat line my love,
My mind is abnormal.

My brain is so overworked,
I'm short circuiting quite hard.

My heart is breaking pathetically,
Why am I this hurt?

I'm sick of pleasing others,
But everyone wants something for free.

I'm just exhausted when that something
Is me.

I feel mischievous,
Like I should say no.

My heart was torn up,
Yet I yearn for you to hold.

Don't say I love you,
But pull me down under.

Your passion is strength,
Your eyes are wonders.

Why has love become so complex,
We'd rather chip or slash,
A work of art before,
We can even admire them.

When did love become so bitter,
Your love was miniscule but your,
Hatred overflowing like hurricanes,
Mixed with waterfalls.

I open my heart so carefully like a door,
A creak or chip could damage it more,
But you rip it open like a nut,
So violently merciless it makes me numb.

Where has the love of storybooks gone?
A knight was unrealistic, pretentious,
but our fathers were hardworking, learning,
Yet you choose to throw stones in glass homes.

No matter the words I speak to you,
My voice is silenced like I am nothing more,
Than a fun experience or life lesson,
While you can take what you want from me,
Until I'm dead.

Wide eyed, your hope,
It filled lives with fluid dreams.

Your life felt like home,
Reminding us all to be grateful in time.

My time is a chokehold,
How can I live my life knowing yours has died.

Through sunflower fields of hatred,
You were someone to me lost to time.

Play with fire,
Let it charcoal your skin,
Brush off your sparks,
Let's regret the touch of hope.

Play with fire,
Curious yet dangerous,
You'd think burning fingertips,
would be enough.

Playing with fire,
Incineration when I thought,
I was going through creation,
Left my skin dry as bark.

Played with fire,
Left my burnt trunks hollow,
Increased my suffering for tomorrow,
As these burns will never heal.

Foolish nature,
Desired so much to be light,
We forgot that radiation,
Can **** us on sight.

Light raised up so much,
It was a bewildering shadow,
To discover the rays of truth.

Procrastination of time,
I decided to leap through,
Waste not a breath more.

But I formed memories that,
Will die in time,
Twisting my mind.

I truly believed,
Thinking I had you,
Permanently.

You wonder why
My words are little
In a world so large

Because I sing constellations
Universes, planets and solar systems
To even get a whisper to you.

My heartbeat is ripping through my chest,
I just remove the day I won't forget,
For a future of a regrets,
Loving myself lesser and less.

I'm a fool of righteousness and pride,
I'm staying up crying at night,
Praying I'll see the northern lights,
But as usual I'm a shadow of right.

I keep fearing I'm going to regret,
Letting you move away from me,
I don't want to be here in this town,
I want to feel the sun on the beach.

I want to feel my pride fill up my soul,
I can't deal with tears anymore,
I want to feel special and in debt,
Of all the future love on yet to get.

Instead I am a fool in a hermit light,
Wondering why I'm so alone that I,
Feel my chest ripping through my soul,
I really never wanna let you go.

If I write this down for you,
Would you care that I even did it too?
For your smile and your warmth and brown eyes too,
I feel like I'm madly in love with you.

I hope one day I get that chance to say,
How deep you make the feeling stay,
But I'm horrified and scared in a way,
you would just take what I have as I lay.

My husband says have faith more in you,
You're not the reason I have that fear too,
I've been constantly used,
For gain, pleasure and dismissal.

Is the season worth the rain at all,
The fire burns my skin as usual,
I'm used to the charcoal I leave behind,
I'm going to burn myself and love you til I die.

How does it feel?
To have feelings strong as oak.

I cried raindrops of empathy,
You used my water to keep your strength.

How does it feel?
To have vision as clear as fog.

I worked effortlessly to fight your fears,
And you repaid me by holding someone new.

How does it feel?
To shatter my heart completely.

I'm a daffodil of multiple heads,
Yet you ripped my petals off vigorously.

Now, how does it feel?
To build my hopes up everyday.

To destroy my walls mercilessly,
For me to regret being this way.

Fiction helps keep a lot of us sane,
Making up stories almost day-to-day.
Though fiction seems rational,
reality is off the rails,
Absolute madness everyday.

Picture frames in a home are lucky,
When this is all temporary for us.
We are comfortable and happy,
But they'll take - It's a 'must'.

Overanalyze my medical history,
As you let me down for years.
I've screamed for help forever,
You just silenced the child beneath this.

I fall in love with victim's of war,
Becoming comfortable is temporary.
As others experience hellscapes the same,
You show little care for anybody.

Sick to the core, coughing my lungs,
I want to sing and be free but it isn't enough.
One day I'll succumb and what do I get?
Nothing. But I deserved,
Better than this.

You were drawing pictures with me,
I was sipping beer and see,
You downing another shot of whiskey.

I said I liked your rugged style,
I think saying that made you smile,
Because I compared it to an album in the 90s.

But as the desperation seeped in,
Our minds kept wandering and,
It left me with a sense of ambition.

You said the best painters were drunks,
I said the best musicians were on drugs,
You cackle at what I say...

We talked about life and death,
I confront the words you said,
You blame liquor and talk,
but I didn't believe you.

I said I know crave your touch,
But you mean something a lot,
Something I envy.

I asked "What's got you down?"
Wondering why you're hurting now,
You simply tell me then,
You fear you'll never reach the end.

I said it's the journey not the goal,
I've met my goals before,
I know I crave the journey more,
My heart pounding in my chest.

But as the desperation seeped in,
Our minds kept wandering and,
It left me with a sense of ambition.

You said the best painters were drunks,
I said the best musicians were on drugs,
You cackle at what I say...

We talked about being replaced,
I feared you leaving everyday but,
You began to say,
"Everyone literally could replace me."

I've never met anyone like you,
Your charming demeanor came through,
You mean everything to me,
It's a promise that I keep.

But as the desperation seeped in,
Our minds kept wandering and,
It left me with a sense of ambition...

That I love you.

I clearly love you.

I thought I would,
Fall,
For the idea of us.

But as I get to know you,
I know it's clear as day,
This sense of sweet ambition is here to stay.

Your life is the dreams mine tried to calculate,
Envy fills me up but never hate.

Inspired by your ways of speaking,
Infatuation made me fall through.

You try not to let me in,
But I want to see you again and again.

You see my eyes and your gaze weakens me,
With this constant desire to have you near me.

So many have left me breathless,
But gazing at you, I've become speechless.

Words keep failing but my mind keeps falling,
For this interesting love I cannot replace.

It has to be you, my body craves,
The scent of your hair and warmth of your face.

It has to be you, my heart aches,
Your creative wave drowns my sorrows away.

There are so many more people better than us,
But why would I care when I have us?

You're perfect standing there,
My heart becomes brave.

When you're so far away,
I begin to let my mind rotate.
My anxiety grips me ferociously,
But my heart is beating desperately.

Chase him, give him space,
These guides of love make no sense.
Laugh with him, don't let him slide,
Are we talking about the same guy?

You can repair this don't hold back,
But you'll look desperate if you type back.
My mind is churning, my brain is swirling,
I just want him to love me back.

I know you could, you're afraid,
But trust me like a friend.

I know there's so much I don't know,
But let's open this up and see where it goes.

I know you're not saying no,
Your face and eyes showed my heart

You're thinking of me,
and it's plucking my strings.

Is this correct? Who the hell knows,
Just take me where you want to go.

Up and down, round and round,
Make me your Alice in Wonderland.

I heard life has been rough for you,
Is it bad I assumed a self-inflicted wound?

I was told to be kind but is it bad,
I felt hurt by the fact you
tried to rip me apart too.

I cared deeply for where I am,
I did this all for my family, the love that I hold,
You tried to take it from me.

Don't you realize how cruel,
You really have been?

You nearly ripped my world apart over jealousy.

Like it didn't hurt for me to walk away,
You've made mistakes.

Crisp senses, a sensation I crave,
I feel I still sense your face.

Your eyes, bright and blue,
A pair so beautifully unique to you.

The winter is approaching my cold heart,
I know you're not here but my heart begs.

A man of my mind, a curse of my making,
Strings attached to my weak eyes.

The tears are falling, what can I say?
I let the boy inside you run away.

It breaks me everyday.

She tells me,
"You're not a toy to be played with".
But for him,
I really am.

To be stretched thin,
Thrown and screamed for and most of all
Broken and left for the wolves.

There's a reason I love these flowers,
Each one has a different memory locked.

The yellow roses of my grandmother's garden, the pink ones found on my aunt's side,
The red one's thorns of a rebellious woman,
The coats of colours of a dead cousin.

The rose garden of above,
Each colour holding someone I loved,
But some other flowers made the cut too,

I don't want morning to come.

My day has been grey, filled with haze,
I thought I felt something special,
But as usual those things fade.

I don't want morning to come.

My night is dragging on,
Like nails on a chalkboard,
Crossing my eyes out.

I don't want morning to come.

To remind me of why I try,
To fall, to break, love and regret,
Every single time.

I don't want morning to come.

To be understood why I,
Come second everytime,
In someone else's life.

I don't want morning to come.

I'll have to explain myself,
My habits, my tears, my regrets and fears,
Like I'm a child I can't say a word.

I don't want morning to come.

But I'm struggling through this night,
There's no stars, no light,
Just a dark empty void.

I don't want morning to come.

I might actually understand,
My actions are better than I am,
Because the immaturity is handled in the dark.

I don't want morning to come.

Because I want to learn you,
Read you, uncover you, like lost pages,
Of a forbidden yet tempting book.

I don't want morning to come.

For you to see me like a mess,
Filled with sociable regrets,
You might learn when read.

Morning will come though...

And I'd understand,
I'll smile and wave,
It's the best I can do.

Because nobody deserves to deal with this.

Static filled vision,
Rips my little ears to shreds.
My heart is stuck with cello tape,
Plastic touch to my fingertips.

Your name reminds me of her,
Which reminds me of summer days.

Your actions remind me of pain,
Stuck in my eyes for all days.

Intoxication leads to internationalisation,
Yet when I thought I saw your face,
It was just a hallucination.

Bar crawling can make you feel so small,
Even when I'm going a steady pace,
I feel I'm barely near a crawl.

I want to feel young and free,
Yet I feel I'm pushing my body to win a race,
All of this is just because I missed you with me.

Instead you're gone without a trace.

I thought time healed most wounds,
Yet my blood is red and pouring still.
My heart is being forced with staples,
To keep the smile I'm known for.

I'd wish for any scenario,
That involves our eyes locking.
Whether loving, suffering, burning or screaming,
I just want to see your face.

I'd wish you said no,
Then I could suffer easier.
Instead I'm left with tears
And consequences of our love.

I built confidence on a false hope,
this is where the seasons change.
I felt myself grow to be hacked down,
by the neighborhood lumberjacks.

As they burn my wooden soul,
They tease and joke.

"I can't believe they'd do this to you",
But you were the one who set fire to me.

I nurtured this garden, the animals roam free.
Held high with respect for the flowers around me.

I would water the lillies,
I sent them away.
I would keep one with me,
holding tight everyday.

The daisies kept growing,
creating fields of youth,
We giggled amongst them sipping lemon juice.

I lit a fire, forming a phoenix of wood,
I watched it fly away towards the sky.

I had wondered for hours why he didn't stay,
Caring for raspberries, blackberries in hay.
The water I used, was no longer pure.
It was full of toxins, crippling them all.

The flowers started wilting,
they turned to my face.
This isn't like you,
Perhaps I changed.

Soon amongst the deserted lands,
The smallest flower's head began to pop out.
It showed me the truth amongst the lies,
I almost felt myself begin to cry.

I nurtured this garden, the animals are gone.
Hanging my head, as shame has come.
Holding onto my lily, never giving her away.
For she's the only one, who truly stayed.