He slaps down
A ten dollar bill
Mutters "Marlboro 100s."
I set down
A chocolate bar
And give the cashier two dollars.
He looks so unhappy
So I ask why.
"addiction,
Little girl.
I've tried pulling myself away
From her-"
And he takes a deep breath
"cigarettes.
But they pull me back in.
A word from the wise..
Never do something too much,
Even if it's just for the
'fun' of it.
That's how addiction drags you in."
He lights up in the store
And gets kicked out,
I look at my candy bar.

I love you Lindsey,
I love you.*
I couldn't say it back.
It got stuck in my throat
With all the other things
I want, but cannot, say.

We bicker back and forth
Smiling and laughing
Phone calls and texts.
It seems like he is
Down the street..
But in real life he is
Hundreds of miles away.
If I close my eyes
I can almost imagine it.

Lindsey and Jacob.
Lindsey and Austin.
Lindsey and Mykayla.
Lindsey.
Lindey Harris
Lindsey Huitt
Lindsey Bradshaw.
My name is two syllables
Seven letters
And has 3 vowels in it.
I couldn't hate it more.

I love the look on your face
When you're driving
And how you hair looks
When I pull off your hat
I love your yawn
In the morning
And the first kiss you give me
When I see you
I love you when you're crying
Because I know I'm there to hold you
And being there for you
Is all I want sometimes.
I love your laugh
When I tickle you just right
And your eyes are closed
With your smile seemingly permanent
Begging me to stop...
I just...
I love you.

You made me wrinkle
My nose
And made me blush.
You're hundreds of miles away,
But...
Nobody has ever said
My smile was adorable.
Thank you.

I hold in all my emotions during the day. When I sleep... I grind my teeth. I wake myself up by scratching long lines across my arms till it hurts.
*God, I'm ****** up.