how do you get rid
                   of the nightmares you get
                          with open eyes

i guess you only like girls who are broken
and want to be hurt, like your hands
around her neck, want
bruises and cuts
in the shape of a heart,
inhaling and choking on your affection
like she needs it to breathe

translucent skin stretched across
veins that pump nicotine and you
you, you, you, you, you

judgement clouded by hyper-dependent
infatuation and the need to heal her
hollowness, although you’ll only ever be
another teardrop on her pillowcase
while she hums herself to sleep
with midnight lies

“the loss of you would be the loss of my life”

and the saddest part
is that i almost let myself fall
back into becoming that
lifeless, empty girl
once more because i thought it might
make you love me again.

Don't trust a word I say
I'm a liar, I swear
I lie in public, I lie at home
I lie so well it can't be fair
So don't trust me at all
I even lie to myself
I'll cross my heart (hope to die)
But my fingers are crossed as well.

This heavy mind of mine frightens me
If I become blind to this fright
before night falls maybe I'll get some sleep
I tried to find you in my dreams
But my sheets got the best of me
If I'm not fighting to find answers then how can i rescue me?

I'll stop shaking
So maybe our lines can meet
so when your teeth meet my meat my tongue will stop you from breathing deep
and my mind will remind you of all the times I was so deep
I could carve my name in your frame with my nails on your heartbeat