I am the ocean
     And you are the moon
No matter how high I rise
     Stretching and yearning
I can never seem to reach you
     And you never notice me
So when you leave,
     I fall back into a puddle of salty tears
Waiting to see you
     So I can try all over again

I am very confused
By this boy I met in school
He talks to me all the time
Is it April fools?

But it’s not April
And this guy I’m starting to like
He holds open doors for me
And is actually really nice

“No,” my mind screams
“Don’t fall for him.
Remember what happened the last time you let someone in?”

My heart stops in its tracks
Remembering that pain
How many nights I spent wide awake
How I still don’t feel the same

He left me broken
Lonely, empty, bruised
He only wanted one thing
And now I feel used

“This can’t be true”
My mind convinces me
“This new guy doesn’t actually like you,
Are you too blind to see?”

So I cut him off
And focus on work
But that boy still won’t give up
And my heart is starting to hurt

“I’m scared” I tell him
“To drop down my walls.”
“You don’t have to be,” he says
“I won’t leave when you fall.”

So I show him the lines
That run across my thigh
I’m nervous about what he’ll say
But I’m not afraid to try

I tell him my story
About all the nights I spent wasted
Trying to forget how you felt
And the way your skin tasted

He opens his mouth to speak
and my heart starts to sink
But what he says surprises me
It makes me rethink

“I didn’t want you because you’re pure.
I already knew you weren’t.
I can see it in your eyes, you’ve experienced a lot of hurt.

But you still smile really wide
And your laughter fills a room
You’re kind to everyone you meet
And your eyes rival the moon

No, I don’t want you for what you’re not
I can find that in any girl
I want you for all the times you’ve fallen down,
And here you are
still facing the world.”

I heard you’re going to Alaska
To work on a fishing boat
Spend the summer under warm skies
In a place you’ve always wanted to see

But while you’re out there
Experiencing the world
You’re forgetting me
The girl back at home
Who has glasses too big for her face
And an unruly mess of curly brown hair
Who has a list of everything she knows about you in her notes
And hundreds of poems written about you
That you’ll never see

I can feel where she is
If I close my eyes
the grass between my toes
the soft, cold wind raises goosebumps on my skin
the stars high up in the sky
the sound of crickets in the field
If I close my eyes
I can feel where she is

But I can also feel the ache in her chest
The sharp pain in her side
From months of running and searching for you
The broken, roughed up skin on the bottom of her feet
The mud on her legs
Her crazy, wind whipped hair
She falls to the ground and takes deep breaths, exhausted

She is done running for you
Searching high and low for your eyes and your hands and your skin

But she still isn’t ready to come home
Not just yet

My love for you
Could raise mountains
Create blue skies
And grow flowers

My love for you
Was laughter and sunshine
On a warm day
It was an endless road
With the radio turned up high

My love for you
Was deeper than the oceans
And more vast than the stars in the sky

My love for you
Still is

I loved you endlessy
Wholly
Hopelessly
Desperately

Every molecule in my body
Every breath I took
Every beat of my heart

I gave it all to you

So how did I expect you to love me in return

If I didn’t have anything left of me for you to love?