i miss bleeding i miss the thin red lines i miss the sting under water i miss the comfort the blade brought i miss the hurt i miss the blood i miss… feeling justified
the pain i went through and the pain im in now means nothing because i dont have any more red lines just white ones even when they were red they werent deep enough werent good enough so im not worth it i dont need that much help im lazy i need to try harder other people have it worse other peoples lines are worse *******
you make me miss the blood everything that hurts makes me miss the thin red lines fifty at once soothing cat scratches little drops of blood to feel better
but
i dont need help i dont deserve help is that what you all think? that i dont try? i try so hard but its still not good enough the days i need help im not good enough i need to be independent im not allowed to ask for help i hate you i hate everyone i hate everything
all i want is my red lines back they may have not been good enough for you but they were for me so ******* no one cares
ill get my blade ill cut once and feel the sting its not so bad so ill do it again and again and again and thirty more times and ill feel that good sting see the pretty blood
and ill feel better ill be better ill be worth the help