every time
i got up from bed
am experiencing
coming out of deep subconscious
more from a darkness
an awareness
someone in cosmos
switch on the light
called 'Sun'...

Because if I do
I’ll fall apart
And I want to be strong
For whenever you need a shoulder

there are roses growing
from my hands
My doubt the seeds
Begging them to grow

There are roses climbing
up my arms
digging in my skin
but i am numb
to their thorns and beauty

There are roses growing
in my lungs
bloodied petals
filling my throat
and falling from my lips

Tears are sliding
down my cheeks
I've had enough
I am to weak

I don't want to be this way,
Scared and on edge,
With my heart
And my mind
Locked far away.

But what can I do?
I'm battling with
Logic and love
All while trying not to bleed
In front of you.

I'm sorry
That I'm not brave enough,
I'm not strong enough,
To leave behind
My defense mechanisms.

But if you just stay,
Maybe soon I'll stop
Being so afraid
Of what I have to say.  

If you keep holding me,
Maybe the chains
That bind me
To this weight of fear
Will dissolve slowly.

If you keep loving me,
I'll rip my heart out
And let you keep it.
Sorry if that's too gory.

Please keep loving me,
Because I can feel
The darkness
Beginning to recede.
I can feel myself
Opening to the love
I've been dying to receive.

Your beautiful brown eyes
A window to your soul
I can tell you everything
My mommy, my friend

I know you love me, unconditionally
It is the one certainty
I have always known
Your love for me never questioned

Mommy, you are my anchor
In my happy days
And my darkest days
My mommy, I love you unconditionally

chlorine is toxic
hindsight is 20/20,
but i never should have kissed you