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You were cut out for me.

Like diamonds from
a meteor spinning
in the galaxy’s depths.
But when we crashed
through the atmosphere
conjoined together
we harnessed a violence
that would burn down the earth.

So I cut you off from me.

And now we’ll float
through the ages
just shiny carbon and alien rock
in parallel lives
and misaligned space-time
entangled forever
by powers beyond us
until our very galaxy’s death.
i try to reach you through the aether
I’m
just
going
to
go
on
record
and
tell
the
whole
****
party
that
just
for
this
millisecond
I
feel
a
little
happy
!
I never really wanted to go
I’m still no better for it
Nothing happened in the way I wanted.
Coming to you from somewhere far and nuclear
this is a cry from the gut
that needs to be read in melody;
like a moonlight sonata:

Its’ fine. It’s okay; it’s my undoing anyway.
I wove counterfeit truths
with threads of convenience
till every last shred of dignity dried up.

I broke down
before dawn
before breakthrough
I saw shadows dry out in the sun.

I romanticised freedom
to the point of madness,
and burnt our palace to ash
out there in the lawn.

I may have pulled
the rug from beneath us
But you laid the broken
glass shards all along.

I tried to love someone else
but it isn’t working,
so I feel like smoking
while stalking your new girl like a hawk.

Happiness looks good on you
But I just don’t believe you.
Go ahead, carry on;
Just like you always do.

One day long overdue
You’ll find me at your door
asking what you meant by
‘’I’ll always be here for you’’
Maybe it’s everything I couldn’t be.

Maybe it’s you, still living in me.
Don't you worry for me.
I'm alive.

Words pour out of me
like the rivers of thrill
that gushed from deep within me
and rushed away in silent screaming,
in-between the glorious thighs
you missed out on.

Maybe I was only ever there
to prepare you for her.

Maybe I hung by a thread
so you don't hang your head.

Don't you feel sorry for me.
I survived.

With my heart in my hands
at the gates of a shrine
I swore to never forget how your face lit
when you said that I was
your favourite hypocrite.
Yes I got all your texts.
And I’m guarded, expecting your next.
Yes I’m fine!
But how would you know?
Frozen in time,
don’t know how to respond.
Okay fine -
You got me, just like you always do.
I’m losing my mind,
I guess I’m not fine at all.
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