There are people
who don't know what it means
to be sensitive.

They make fun
of the fact that you feel
more deeply than they do.

I'm not a wimp.
I'm not a baby.
I'm not crying because someone
took my toy
and it's the second grade
all over again.

To tell someone
I don't feel anything
To pretend
That i'm okay
is to lie.

"Go run to your room
like always."
Avoiding conversation
because words boil in your mind
and you know
if you stay around
it's going to overflow.

Tell me something
more than insults.
Do more
than shove knives
down my throat.

hair cut short
bandages around her small
strong
hands.

blisters wear the battle
she fought
she's been fighting—

watch out:
she'll show you
what it takes
to survive in a ring
with your demons.

there's blood
between my teeth
and kisses
on my bruises—
the bruises you gave me.

you swore
you'd never touch another girl
the way you touched me.
the way your dad
bruised your mom
because "he loved her."

you saw the devil in me
and you tried to save me
beat her out
of my fragile frame—

i saw the devil in you
with each blow
our demons
our devils
swirled and danced around
the room:

like smoke
from your cigarettes.

Find yourself on streets,
without a destination;
cold wind blowing through,
a conversation about creation.

Find yourself in broken places,
filled with smoke and familiar faces.
Build yourself in thoughts of me,
how I sculpted you in what you wanted to be.

Find yourself in an empty house,
after midnight the lights go out.
Lose yourself in the songs we discover,
lose a friend, but find a lover.

Find yourself in the echo of my sighs,
in the taste of my tongue, in the breath of my cries.
Find yourself in the ecstasy of being,
find yourself, but never find a meaning.

as I roll into these sheets,
the arms of my lover
invisibly extend
to hold my tired bones
in an embrace
that will hold
until you return.

say goodbye
through the letters
i wrote to you
on water-logged paper.

fill them with your poetry
written for her.
let me pretend
you wrote them for me.

i'll tell you
i wish i'd kissed you
before i left.

i can't tell
if loving you
has been a delusion.
if loving you
has only been a lie to myself.

miss me.
please.

if i'm to die
before my journey is through,
just know
that i have always
always
always
loved parts of you.