You collect sunlight and
swallow it down,
like it's tylenol.

You feel a lot more real
in my dreams, than you do
in my arms.

The ashtray keeps overflowing
Why won't you
replace it?


                
                     There is a fine line
                              between
                      courage and fear



With you, it's always been
sink, then swim
burn, then crash
leave, then love.

Ariane again 5.24.25 (1:50 pm / 13:50)
ariane i try so hard for you
and it’s worth it every day

ariane there is nothing i would not sacrifice
for you and i

ariane it doesn’t matter anymore
if you love me back or not
can you let me love you?

ariane when it’s just me and you
those are my favorite moments,
i just want you to know

ariane please,
i wish i weren’t desperate
but i want this
you
all the same

perfect reality 5.24.25 (1:54 pm / 13:54)
there is never a perfect reality
however much i wish for it

it’s like a painting and i’m trying to figure out what’s wrong,
just tell me,
help me make it right

maybe there are too many shadows
maybe the skyscrapers really do touch the clouds
i’m not sure but my brush can’t make it okay,

i’m on my knees now,
i don’t know why
it’s just all all all so wrong

have you ever felt so sad you can’t breathe
have your ribs and your chest and your heart
ever hurt so much
that they eventually go numb
because you just can’t take it anymore

have you ever taken a razor to your arm
because you want so badly to feel pain
you can understand
instead of aimless blind sadness

has it ever hurt for you
in your perfect reality

i screamed your name until the ceiling cracked 5.7.25 (3:55 pm)
i cared too much about you to let you go
i cried for hours
i screamed your name until the ceiling cracked
and fell on me

i knelt in the shards of a roof and cut myself with them
until grief ran in red rivulets

it wasn’t fair, was it
because it also wasn’t your fault
it was mine too,
there’s blame to share

since forever 5.13.25 (8:08 am)
i feel like i’ve known you since forever
i feel like you and i have walked a thousand miles
in each other’s shoes
i feel like you know every place i’ve been

i feel like you and i
we’ll be together forever
i think you see all of me
i think maybe i see all of you

you never try to tell me who i am
you’re never looking for me
we just found each other

found each other, such a lucky thing
maybe i do believe in luck after all

lunar cycle 5.16.25 (10:11 am)
the lunar cycle continues forever
rotating and rotating and forever and forever

crescent, half, full
rewind
life
death
black
white

again and again
everything lit silver
a kind of surreal light

the kind that makes you want to lie down
on a dewy field of flowers
and stay there forever
watching the moon

oh juliet 5.17.25 (1:39 pm)
juliet, i’m sorry
sorry on behalf of humanity, i guess

juliet capulet
i’m sorry
they sold you off and he took you away

look i know you loved him
but why
i don’t think you ever should have met

oh juliet,
you weren’t even fourteen yet

it was only a mere thirteen years
and no longer a maiden
like you should have been forever

oh juliet, you deserved so much
so much better
i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry you died

by choice i know,
but a girl shouldn’t be ruled by a man

oh juliet
you should have had a throne
not a rusty dagger, not crying in the end
it’s no wonder she killed herself,
what’s a girl to do with a life like that?

juliet, in the next life
don’t cry
real queens don’t need a king
the only thing a boy’ll give you’s imprisonment
he’ll only treat you like a ******* toy

oh juliet
the more strength you have
as boundless as the sea,
the more it will be infinite