My entire life, I've been around the police force.
Mommy, Uncle Tony, and Anita have always been my favorite.
My heroes with the shiny cars and badges.
In my eyes, they are reigning champions of
"good officers still exist" during times like this.

I've never seen a storm last this long,
and I've kept my silence for far too long.
I was stuck.
For all I knew was a good officer until my brothers
and sisters were exploited on tv screens and magazines.
Blood seeping down and staining shirts, eyes wide open,
and bodies lying in the street.

Growing up, all I knew was a good officer.
So my world shook when I noticed the bad ones, too.
They make it hard for me to defend what I've always
known to protect me. At some point, the bad ones,
we must ****. And with a corrupt justice system
that dismisses the actions that we see, it gets tough...
For both you and me.
"STOP ******* KILLING US," we scream.
But no matter how many octaves we reach,
they still aren't listening. And we are left to wonder,
"Who's next: you or me?"

We make posters with blank spaces,
prepared for another one fallen.
But it's apparent that they refuse to see
that our people are hurting; and that
the chains they put on us not that many years ago
are still bound to us as if they are the latest accessory.

I didn't celebrate the fourth this year.
My people are dying, and here I am breathing
and hoping that anyone near and dear isn't affected by this mockery.
"Black on black crime is a real thing." No denying that statement
but why say that first knowing that some of the ones
we are told to trust don't want to see you free?
Do you understand that any black man could be next?
Even though I'm a woman, ****, it could be me.
My *****, are you listening? Did you get word?
Homie said, "Set your clock back 300 years!"
How about that for a rude awakening?

Quit telling my people that this **** here is an illusion.
You wanna be "a *****" so badly?
Cool, my *****, this is our reality.
We out here dying every day, b.
Pictures of dead bodies and videos of the crime scene,
mothers and children crying.

I never know what to expect.
I'm just praying I don't get a call saying (insert name here)
died at (insert time here) for their melanin radiating
and minding their business.
#JusticeFor___: Trayvon, Sandra, Kathryn, Sean, Eric,
Rekia, Amadou, Mike, Kimani, Kenneth, Travares,
Tamir, Aiyana, Freddie.
Alton and Philando with six shots to the chest.
****, y'all know what's next and I'm so ******* tired.
I will say their names unapologetically
because my heart can't take
my people's hearts tearing at the seams
from the mutual pain we are experiencing.

Black kings, I will pray for you.
Black families, stay whole.
Black children, alive and unborn, I love you.
Apparently: a wallet, sleeping, Skittles, a cellphone,
loud music, cigarettes, cigarillos, shopping at Wal-Mart,
toy guns, failure to signal, CDs, and reaching
for your license and registration can get you all ****** up.

I've never seen a storm last this long.
I've never seen the good officers be seen as the criminal.
I've never seen a people so desperate and anxious
for light at the end of a tunnel...
Until the bad cops thought it was okay
to play illegally and get away.
*7716

I looked for temporary satisfation when your love
was absent. I understand it may be selfish of me
but waiting for its return is like waiting for the last
autumn leaf to make way to the earth -- the beauty
of summer fades, and Mother Nature loses her youth
as the arms that reach the heavens slowly die.

Truthfully, one could not forget intimate kisses shared
in silence, and the voice that has resonated in the mind
as the sweetest lullaby. If only it was possible to find joy
within the pain. Although laughing at such misery could
ease a weary heart, the perfect love still has too strong of
a hold to let go of the affection it has received.

I gave my all to a person even with an exhausted soul.
Time after time, I made myself an afterthought for the sake
of his heart. Unfortunate events proved that he did not have
the heart to do the same.  I freely gave myself to a man that
confused true love with lust. My selflessness entwined with his
selfishness, and my love slowly became suppressed from being
mistreated. With this, I know the importance of giving less love
to a loveless being. They are not aware of what they have when
their pride is what they live for.

The truth is that I love you, and that
I always will. Helpless and hopeless
romantics dream of love like this. For
the longest of times, I dreamt of the
perfect lover. I wondered how much
sweeter life would be if I found myself
in the arms of the man I love. The longer
I waited and every mishap along the way
led me straight to you. I, now, yearn for
the passionate kisses you place upon my
lips. I live for your steady breaths that
give my restless soul peace. Hearts like
yours are the reasons why I remained a
believer.  Your warmth never goes astray,
and your faith gives me strength. Although
each heart withholds the same amount of
adoration, theirs will never be like yours.