this is what ***** me up,
she smiles. a smile so pure my head and the universe switch turns. my head is spinning and the world stops. the sun blinks a couple of times and the moon comes rushing in. its night time and all of the stars are shining but when compared to that smile of hers, the stars are just dots. i am a dot in this marvelous world. and it ***** me up that i just want to grab her by the hand and pull her so close that my ribs start smashing. but its fine. my ribs are just making her way home. where she always lived. where everything is familiar with her touch. i want to kiss her until her lips is the only taste i know. i want to breath her in until her smell replaces every oxygen molecule in my lungs.
it ***** me up, that for those few seconds im a normal personal. i just want to love. destructive thoughts leave me be. no issues, nothing twisted. just a lover.

and if the stars could align in a way to form a constellation that resemble her smile, or shine in that same way her eyes does, something in my chest will ache and by then i will realize the presence of a heart in me. and when i listen closely i'll hear a beat that sounds exactly like the sound of her voice.
its not the stars,
its not me.
its her.
she does that to me.
her presence assures you that its all alright, that you are going to be just fine because she's by your side. and when her hand touches yours, all your problems will fade away and your mind will finally shut up. your only thought would be a wish that she'll never let you go. and if theres any good in all of this bad in me, then its thanks to her. she does that to me.