what must i do,
to break free,
from the suffocating shackles of this mind.
To truly live,
to silence all doubt,
and end this lingering worry.
What must i do?

I used to build words
like a carpenter—
lines hammered out
plank by plank
word for word,
like bridges
spanning waters
for anyone
eager to cross.

And now
I write to meet the page
like aching skin,
like quiet water
hesitant to ripple—
careful to bear a mark.

All the words
I’ve sent off—
paper boats,
adrift.

I let them all go,
travelers,
and bridges alike,
let them sink or rise—
and let the tide
bring the words
home.

do you know the weight of it?
clawing your way up
test after test,
year after year,
to be the perfect reflection of the dreams they have for you,
those that are now your own.
where your worth now hangs.

when they see the prize,
they say, 'oh it comes so easily to her'

Easily?

i bled for this.
i screamt for this.
and my mind?
it whispers
'this is just what you're supposed to do'
you are 'gifted'
its your mere responsibility.
nothing to celebrate. nothing special.

isnt it?

I spiral, and
I burn

'round and
'round

trying to catch
the sun

How I try to
become

someone you'd
know

but I'm not the
one

The days grow
old

the nights come
undone

There's so much
to forget

about the things
I never learned

The knives twist
and turn

the scars weave
and have spun

My tears, old
and young

'round and
'round

I spiral, and
I burn

trying to catch
the sun