After all of that hurt and worry
through this
Year
The only true person
there for me was my best friend,
with a cigarette
in one hand and
A cup of tea in the other

A peaceful resort for me to
Escape to

Maybe

Or maybe it just me putting my
******* up and saying
**** the free world

Let me be me and do as I please
So that day we both say out
Under the dark starred sky
Smoking cigarettes

Inhale the roses and exhale
the thorns
Cause flowers don't grow when there's a storm.

i am tired of being
scared to fight for
what i want, but i
am too tired of
being rejected
to fight for
you.

As a child I was taught poetry
the quiet writing of feelings reflections
often in a beat with a rhyme and a few examples of alliteration

I was taught that as a woman my feelings
should be hid and kept quiet
that when I liked a boy it was not my place
to ask him whether he liked me back
I was taught to look out for myself by not dressing slutty
not walking home late at night
I was taught that my curvy figure would make people
question my morals my virginity my character
I was taught that as a girl I won't be as successful in math or science
I was taught to give myself to other pursuits
in liberal arts or domestic dealings
I was taught that even if by some miracle I found success in the fields where I "wouldn't be successful"
that I would and should give it up in a heart beat to raise a family
I was taught that I must share my feelings
my emotions my struggles
but not in a loud and open way

I had to remain quiet cool composed

Poetry was to be my outlet, written in couplets sonnets and verse
quiet and held inside written on paper
stored away from the world
to be read inside the mind
by others- men, teachers, parents
in order to decode me
and learn how to
keep
me

silent

The Sun,
She didn't even shine for me anymore.

2.The Moons,
even they turned on me and I was left to find my way in the darkest of nights.

3.You left me in a corner, the walls were made of concrete and even they would crack at the touch of my empty hands searching for comfort.

4.I ran away from every mouth that
formed words that
that
that sounded like yours.

5.My guitar, is out of tune

6.My stomach is an abyss, for everything tastes like you.

7.I fell in love with your mistress too and her other friends, I see why you preferred her arms
for comfort

8. They said I was bipolar
depressed
crazy. After I split my wrists looking for a sign from you.

9. I love you

10. I still love you.

only the moon knew her darkest secrets, the depth of her thought was the deepest, up all night, its something she does frequent, she's an angel from heaven, that fell for a demon, a beautiful image, turned into a broken spirit, constant arguments and disagreements,
her smile held pain, but she stuck to concealment, because her friends and the world were incoherent, I got to see her smile one day, ever since then, nothing has been the same,
she no longer puts that same smile on her face, she once felt grace, but it turned to disgrace, the beauty she holds is inexplainable, the purity in her soul is gold, yet unattainable, because she no longer holds trust,
what she thought was love, turned into lust,,an addicting drug, that having is a must, the magical feeling, turned into dust, she misses the memories, kisses, and hugs, now she confides in her own sorrow, asking god for a better tomorrow, he gives her a light to follow, but her own pride is hard to swallow, A beautiful intelligent female, who felt love through the most intimate detail,
at school she was the most diligent female, filled in amazing aspects, and assets, but she continues to feel the absence, and still doesnt comprehend the circumstances,
for his actions, of dissatisfaction,
still to this day hasnt changed her reaction, the biggest heart break shes ever dealt with, it was minor to him, but her heart really felt it, like a beautiful ice sculpture, she melted,
and there I was the person to who she vented, staring deep into her dark brown eyes, i saw what nobody else saw, deep deep inside, she was wise at mind, i searched more within, as the sun rised, a beautiful lonely girl, that told me under the stars and moonlight,
"hold me close and never let go."
i was there to carefully listen,
she opened up like a book.
after she looked up to me and said i was different, that i just might be what her heart was missin,
her eyes and smile once again glistened, i told her,
"look at the stars, look how they shine for you, until the stars in the sky shine no more, i'll always be there, until the end of time for you."

I could write a million songs about your skin
How the beauty and softness resembles your soul
I could sing a song about your smile
How it  carries the story of your past and your dreams for the future
I could dance to the sound of your voice
The melody of your every word runs through my body like a river untamed
I could love you forever
You are my seed to the tree of love and peace
I could kiss you for eternity
Hoping my affection would help you grow

The steam on out breath
Mixes with the smoke from our lungs.
Our cigarettes burn,
Whispering through the crispness.
Frozen air
Bites our fingers tips.

You look so pretty with your hair pulled back

We are present,
Desperate to forget.
Why are stars so intriguing?
Maybe because we can sympathize,
They burn through the blackness.