There was a theatrical interpretation of
House of Leaves staged in London's Covent Garden
which for some reason I thought might make
an interesting date option
**** me now, sorry for trying

So we entered a dusty warehouse for
this interactive event, like I always say
we should embrace new experiences

There was a chapter in this no-budget incoherent
student display where me and my date
divided into separate areas and I had to yell
out an upsetting childhood memory
(don't ask why just go along with it)
which was a little distressing
but then the 'actress'

Held me tight and
licked my face all over
was that in the book, I forget
up and down and all around
an unusual move to be sure
I was paralysed I went cross-eyed and
barely ever recovered, she
really lost herself in the role

One time I was on London's
busy Oxford Street
crossing the road
when I ended up doing the
awkward dancing encounter
the side to side shuffle
you know what I'm talking about
if you don't then go away now
with a camel coat wearing
executive type lady and yes heels yes

I went left, she went left
from my pov (which stands for point of view)
I went right, she went right, see above
I wasn't trying to be a nuisance
but it was quite confusing
then I went left, she went left
I went right, she went right
you get the picture, yes we see

This went on for one verse too long
(from her pov) then
she let out an exasperated HAH!
shoved me hard in the chest
shocked >I buckled< OOOF!

I have to say she had every right
and it takes an alpha-beta male
to admit this, thank you
for your attention to this matter

I was a restless teenage mentalist
always searching the airwaves
trying to find something new. Pirate
stations would sometimes emerge
from thin slices of the dial

For a few days one played
*** Bomb by Flipper countless times
and it made quite an impression
on my bubbly fudge mind

All these years later I still get a mighty
kick out of listening to this
absurd joyous splurge
every few weeks

                        which may be
             a tragic or magnificent
      state of affairs it's
really not for me to decide

I like the activated almonds
Nostalgic for the rustling jimmies
Homemade coconut, milkshake duck
I let the archangels take him
✧ ͜ʖ ✧

Skill issue, Dandori issue
Press F to pay respects
Leave no dwarf behind
It's explained in CFYOW
(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧

4 squealers lined up ready for inspection
John [Series Name]
Temba, his arms wide
Flippin' bricks for Mansa Musa
ʕ·͡ᴥ·ʔ

Demand-pull, cost-push, built-in
        egg
eggflation for my troubled soul

Consumer price, producer price, house price
        egg
eggflation for your fevered brow

Creeping, walking, running, hyper
        egg
eggflation for our worried minds

Official, true, perceived and
       egg
eggflation for these desperate times

SCENE: we're back in the old house
where I long to reside in spite
  of it all but wait there's a long-haired sprite
   akin to The Ring girl circling
     aimlessly in the hallway likely an autonomoid
    waving a captive bolt pistol which
   looks like the one that belonged to your father
  who as a Victor slash Commando admirer
built himself you said it looked like Lego
   he didn't respond kindly to that observation
    a weapon ripe for incapacitation at least
  which we could do without at this juncture
(full disclosure he's buried under the garage)

ACTION: slam the kitchen door and tuck myself
out of sight behind the cooker
  wrestle off my restrictive overcoat
   I just feel freer in shorts and a tee
    grab a rolling pin who even has one of those anymore
     how about a knife, the knifes where are they
    <i>and what are you gonna do with a knife anyway?</i>
   consider hurling cricket ball style at the Ring head
  a chunky mug no that Filippo Berio bottle
the chopping board out of reach is sturdy but I hear a rattling

ACT TWO: my sister's voice urgent from outside 'come now'
I rush for the back door and one step two step
  along the path and onto the lawn follow her down
   to the gate sidle through the 'loose section' then
free into the woods, platonic escape, don't look back

Every step along the grass elicits a satisfying audio thud
the green shades and breezy lollop convincingly rendered
  my sister approaches from the west catches up
   her athleticism matches mine as it never did
    and we gallop in unison toward the perimeter
     a glorious second of release before she barks 'She's behind us!'
   I glance back and see the bolt pointed,
  blank fac'd in relentless pursuit

ANTICLIMAX: I round the corner with my twin
and we stumble upon the blessed mundanity
  of a bus stop
    but I left
   my card
  in my coat
in the kitchen

Throw your clothes down the mountain
okay maybe not all your clothes
retain some modesty lest ye become arrested
prosecuted and persecuted, we're not
looking to become a martyr

But bury your past, it really is the
smartest option, spilling it
just keeps the quacks in their high chairs

And lose the attitude, please
even if it means stop being so much
of your 'authentic self'
the social armour must be discarded
scrub away your harsh layers

Shed the shed
can the can
reject the rejects, and
scrap the scrappers

Convert all your physical media
all the books and all the records of your lifetime
and toss em in a skip (UK)
or hold a garage sale (US)

Abandon, not all hope, but expectation
             he's getting deep, and a little
             holier-than-thou preachy
             yes it's rather sickening

             Easy to say throw your shoes in the lake
             sure I'll torch my car while I'm at it

             But will he ditch the high cholesterol lifestyle
             has he sold off his stocks, dispersed his gains and
             does he wander the urban desert clad in a loincloth

             Or is he snug, plump and smug in his mansion
             talking to shadows on the wall
             gesticulating impotently via the medium

You misunderstand as ever
you wilfully misunderstand

Just looking to simplify
remove all obstacles, pare it down
to whatever it is
we need to get by