I have fear in my heart
Of being torn apart
Or watching the past
Come to pass

I know I've done well
to cope with my loss
with my patience to sell
With no anger, not cross

I fear I won't be understood
I fear you truly aren't that good
I fear what I've seen hide beneath
A devil with gnarled teeth

My heart has been bruised and burned
I feel like I always learned
Only to find it all again
Now that I'm here,
It's a matter of when

I'm full of the anticipation of failure
That I won't be the best for her
and the pattern will show it's face
With my heart being put in it's place

I know I must learn to give
I know it's the only way to live
But
This fear drives me insane
Thinking of the pain, from my own brain

Clawing the back of my mind
A deadly poison making me blind
I'm lost in an unknown sense of feeling
But I can't see the hands I'm dealing

I need to be understood
Help me if you would
For this fear is a truth so bold
and
These outcomes of my life are getting old

Solitude is a one man show
The one so personal
Only you'll know
Whether it's a blessing or a curse in all

You must learn to love the empty space
Take your time it's not a race
Learn to love yourself and the pace
Let yourself feel and embrace

You find yourself a Jester to your own game
Abandonment, Disgrace, Destructive
Branded to your own name
Learn to grow from what they can give

Letting these thoughts rule who you are
Brings out a you that feels so far
Hiding behind a painted mask
With a smile that doesn't last

Yet you are able to recognize
That these feelings are a bed of lies
Where the bad one stays
and the good one dies

Self-Reflection is how you grow
Learn to see the bad
and you'll definitely know
There's plenty of room for greatness to be had

Just know I'll always be here
To push you
To pull you
In the right direction dear  
  
So have patience in me
and I'll have patience in you
I just can't wait
To see what you do

Ghost Knight
Dressed in all white
Remnants of the twilight
Of the long fight

Fought in your head
With depression
Best served
In bed

Restless and blue
The stay of morose
Long overdue
Looking back on the dead versions
Of you

Day in and day out
This and that
With some doubt
As you try to muscle about

To stay afloat
On this rickety boat

Sunset in my heart
But I'm the dying light
To come apart
And take flight

Into my dreams
Of a fake life
With gold streams
On a bronze knife

I'm a zombie
I'm a ghost
I'm dead to me
I'm not the Host

Ghost faces
A noose
Of shoe laces
My mind filled
With
Bad places
It just paces
Running circles
And losing races
My nerves fired
I'm lost among
My own
cold cases

Broken dreams
And split seams
It's all it seems
In endless streams

Tunnel vision for lies
Wrapped in silk white
For the many one cries
Creating a craving blight