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  Nov 2018 Lauren Ehrler
Emmanuella
"I can’t figure it out.” She said.
“I like cigars,
and pretty dresses and crossing my legs.”
She paused,
then continued,
“And I like smoking cigars in pretty dresses while crossing my legs.”
She uncrossed them,
then crossed them again.
One smooth limb over the other.
Just like that.

“But I never seem to have a lighter on hand.
Could you— sir,
please light my cigar?”
“You see, I have no pockets to hold such things and my purse…
Well,
You’ve confiscated that, haven’t you?”

“Thanks.” She breathed,
and inhaled,
and exhaled;
Sluggish wisps of smoke dissipating into the air.
Just. like .that.

“I didn’t know L'homme was into women who smoke cigars in pretty dresses while crossing their legs", She said.
“I mean, how was I to know?
I only noticed him noticing me.
It was probably the way my hair was tousled like so,
Or how my lipstick shone a deep, dangerous rogue,
Or the way I sipped at my champagne…
That made him walk over.”

“But I never asked him to light my cigar
Or comment on my dress…
Or stroke my legs.
So when I whacked him up top over the head with my glass,
I bet he never expected it to shatter and split his skull like so.
He dropped so sudden, sir. I…”
Another ringlet of smoke, a sigh, an uncrossing and crossing of legs again.
“I had no clue,
what else to do,
But to sit still in my pretty dress, with my legs crossed, smoking my cigar trying to figure out...
Just how I'd committed ******.”
"She's a dangerous woman...
Who can ****,
Just with her *** appeal".
  Sep 2018 Lauren Ehrler
Edmund black
Everything in my life
Falling apart
And
Simultaneously
everything in my life
pulling itself together
The truth is
life breaks everyone
life breaks everything
Nevertheless
I choose positive thoughts
I choose adaptability
I choose compassion
I choose gratitude
I choose love
I choose humility
I choose courage
I choose to keep moving forward
I choose to create a beautiful life
within the ugliness of it all
I choose to reach inside myself
and ignite a fire that will burn
forevermore
And at the end of it all
I know I will emerge victorious
within those broken places
  Sep 2018 Lauren Ehrler
Edmund black
In Japan there is an art form
called kintsukuroi which means
to repair with gold
When a ceramic *** or bowls
would break the artisan would
put the pieces together again
using gold or silver lacquer
to create something stronger
forevermore beautiful than before
The breaking is never something
to hide
It doesn’t mean that the work of the art
is ruined or without value because
it is different than what anticipated
Kintsukuroi is a way of living that
embraces every flaw and imperfections
Every crack is part of the  history of
the object and it becomes forevermore
beautiful
precisely because it has been
broken
I’ve told this story to tell you this
People are the same way
Being hurt or heart broken
or feeling broken generally
is not who you are
It is something that happens to you
Rise up stand proud and move forward
Stop looking about what the world says
about you and who you are
The value of your worth is more
than you can ever conceive
and when you trust
in your heart you’ll understand
the Power you house within
Cracks and all your true value
can never be lost in translation
Know the value of your worth, you worth more than gold... made to an exact specification!
Lauren Ehrler Aug 2018
I'm a brick wall
Not in the sense of stubbornness or
being close minded
But in reference to my outer shell  
With which no emotion can pass through
And to most it means
There is no place where my emotion dwells
Or worse they take a wrecking ball to the strong wall
Hoping to crack my resistance
Only giving more reason to build it higher, wider

They claw at my walls
Not bothering to knock with gentle hands
Delicate touch opening the door
Not barreling through
Looking and knowing there's a wall
To keep my feelings in
Not to keep others out

Sadly no one knocks at a hidden door
So do I make a new door,
Tear down a wall,
Or wait a whole life for someone who might never knock?
Lauren Ehrler Aug 2018
I was lucky
Drama never exploded upon me
Half-truths
Half-lies
I never took part in them
Being shy and quiet,  
I never really cared for it
Nasty mean words
Hate that poors from mouths like
Bile

I always thought drama was a way for attention seekers to be seen
And a way to hurt people deemed worthy
Such a lovely way to be noticed
Through rumors and hate  
Thick sludge that even the pureness of honesty can't defeat

Honesty was a strong suit for me
A quiet girl with little to say
Why say something if it's a lie?
And most honesty hurts others so I stayed quiet
I had poetry anyway

Poetry
A language of it's own
Flowing, curt, inspiring
It was magic to me
Somehow it still is
A magic that is real,
Yet feels so unreal

Why would I tamper poetry  
With petty drama?
It's pure beauty enables emotion to meet a life in ink
All emotion freely flowing from a pen to a page
Erasing and capturing them into glimpses of what is real and felt

Instead of lies I tell truths
Which is why I rarely speak
The truth is hard to handle
I don't want to be half of something
I'm so whole and full to the brim of life
How would it be right to speak half,  
To live half a life?
It wouldn't be fair
So no half-truths
Only fullness
To represent the life I have to give
Might edit a bit more. Tell me what you think!
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