Blood Fist and broken glass
Hate and anger clash at last

Battle rages deep inside

Heart and mind are torn
within the soul I face a storm

seconds1-3

                   i want to take your hand and
                   lace it through my hair without
                   permission and gauge your response
                   to see if you secretly like it but
                   are afraid to admit it.

---

seconds4-7
                
                   i want to whisper in your
                   ear and tell you that you're
                   {uglybeautifulterrifying}
                   and that i *hatelovewant you
                   more than i want to breathe or move or
                   (live)

---

seconds8-12

                   i want to swim through you without
                   the fear that i might {hurt****love}
                   you and forget what all of this was
                   about in the first place.

---

seconds13-17

                   i want to remember that i don't
                   love you even though that's a lie that
                   i tell myself every [secondminutehour]
                   to make sure i'm following the rules.

Stressed and depressed
Too sad to rest
The only way to rid the pain
Is to cut my skin
And let blood trickle like rain

They say that over time, it dissipates -
it will drain from you, evaporate like smoke.
It will descend upon you, destroy you;
but will soon release you, and fade.

But with time it instead grows stronger,
demanding to be felt.
It knocks on the doors of my soul,
its urgency to be let inside unrelenting and ruthless.

Like an unpredictable storm, it lands and ravages,
leaving just fragments of a heart already rebuilt.
What is gone is the will;
the resiliency dulled, the courage spent.

It's a deep-rooted ****, an unrivaled opponent;
It's a malevolent fire that refuses to be smothered.
The Hurt:
a wound that permeates, and remains.