“The greater the doubt, the greater the awakening; the smaller the doubt, the smaller the awakening.  No doubt, no awakening.”

It helped you to survive
Than overtook you
The only way back
Is learning to own yourself
And your body

Hello halo
Up there where I can't see
How absurd you become
In days like these
Or is it you naughty sense of humor?
Was I your mother
Would have put you to stand in the corner
For a few
Why give me a rational brain
To **** me
With emotions?
Would be better of as a fish
Or a bird
Not thinking not comparing myself
To the rest of my kind
My kind that was never truly
Mine
Why make me feel other people's feelings
Loosing myself beyond the point
Of no return
Thank you for my profession
Otherwise I'd be sharing the room with those I treat
How do you suggest I pull away?
From the mess of other worlds I feel inside
No one can understand but many believe...
And if that was not enough why this encounter
With shadow that will never leave
Strange fantasy that could not seize
As if a powerful storm that became my life
Something that sank down to the core
In an instant before I even realized
Yet storm would be easier to comprehend
Too much feeling and unexplainable
Knowing taking control
Over the remains of my poor rationality
That all I want lately
Is to switch it all off
Into oblivion

Crawling from underneath the
Power which cannot be owned
Nor contained an illusion obsession
A lethal compulsion and ever present
All absorbing shadow
You are engulfed and deformed
Power you could only wear but never fully
Possess

To stand up and carry yourself
Under the light of your truth
Faithfully catching reflection
Never escaping
The only way to liberate
Empowerment
Pure and transcending
So much more than power itself

Forever strangers like molecules
Bouncing off each other in directions
Similar or opposite often unpredictable
Often uncontrolled
So before the eternal chaos takes the molecules
Apart what was that you wanted to know
What was that you wanted to say
Before the world comes to an end

Question
Shame eyes overted sudden noise
Buzzing in the back of the brain
The hook is left hanging submerged in the water
Fogging the thoughts until they disappear
Words ran away at a thought of being spoken
Thoughts those complex layers of
Experience feelings impulses values
So much insight and potential
Running out the door
Atom by atom splitting hanging in the air above
Spoken sounds are escaping the tongue
Oh what a torture to be at a mercy of
Limitations
Unknowing and lost in the bubble with only self
And the gaping hole of loneliness
And everything unsaid

Through acceptance i find my way
To only that within the grasp
The truth begging to be said
When in no doubt
Or finding dignified peace in silence