I'm sick of being tired,
Tired of being sick.
I create this negative atmosphere,
The air is polluting and thick.

I can't help but see the negatives,
In everything I seem to contact,
Relationships, friendships,
Its like their only here under contract.

I feel like no one wants me,
To be around, even for a chat,
"Get the f*k away from me,
You ugly, hairy, fat, twt"

I know its all in my head,
But reality distorts in there,
I know people love me,
And people truly care.

But the wave of darkness,
Surrounds my skull,
I'm scared I'm loosing this battle,
The void might swollow me whole.

I try to be the light,
That makes people smile,
But I'm hidden behind this light,
I've been hiding for quite a while.

The face is a broken image,
But broken on the inside,
I don't want people to see this,
Thats why I hide.

Please, if you know me,
Just talk as if we're fine,
Ignore any insecurities,
They're not yours to deal with, they're mine.

Don't trust anyone.
That's what they say.
Don't trust anyone.
I don't think that way.
Trust. The most valuable thing.
On par with loyalty.
You should always trust someone.
I trust me.
You should trust you.
Trust that you'll make the right choice,
That you'll step up when needed,
Morality needs a voice.
Trust that you'll be there for them.
When their tears need a shoulder,
When his troubles needs comfort,
When her heart needs a holder.
Trust in yourself.
Then trust will come to you.
They'll trust your decisions,
They'll trust everything you do.
But be aware,
Trust is fragile.
Be careful who you trust.
Trust yourself, to keep your trust agile.
And when trust in someone is returned,
And when it is equally reflected,
Love will grow,
And your hearts forever connected.
Trust.
Trust her.
Trust him.
Trust me.
But most of all, trust yourself. And you'll love yourself. And life will be better.

I sit, elbows on knees.
Frowning. Thinking.
Sometimes I just stare at the wall,
Not even blinking.
I think weird and random thoughts mainly.
Like, Who decided to drink cows milk?
Who on earth would eat those silicone packs you get inside shoe boxes?
Who decided to use silk?
I think deep thoughts too,
What am I doing with my life?
Am I happy?
Should I make my girlfriend my wife?
Sometimes I can be here for a few minutes,
Normally, I'm here for a bit more,
Sometimes, my legs go numb,
And my feet get sore,
And that's when I wipe,
Stand and flush,
Wash my hands,
And realise I've now gotta rush.

Trying to sleep but my eyes open wide
With voices whispering from every side,
Battles in my mind and nowhere to hide,
a futile resistance against the rising tide.

Thought after thought taunting my soul,
As this constant barrage takes its toll,
Eating away slowly now a gaping hole,
My mind going crazy and out of control.

I know not why I cannot rest,
Thoughts of random is all I possess,
A decent nights sleep, and I'll be blessed,
5 minutes and I'm unimpressed.

I always loose the fight to sleep,
I've counted every last ******* sheep,
Watched them 'baa' as they leap,
Watch them land in a heap.

I give up, I might as well,
Just leave my sleeplessness to dwell,
Bid my dreams farewell,
Cos everynight I'm met with hell...

So once again,
My heartbreaks over something that was only in my head,
But don't ever forget,
I meant every word I should have left unsaid.
You walked away,
As if our love and all we had was nothing,
Yet I fought on,
Cos to me, you, and all you came with, was everything.
I no longer want you,
But you will forever be in my heart,
You're so special to me,
I knew you were from the very start.
Yes I have moved on,
I'm getting on with this life of mine,
I'm no longer being sad,
And no longer just pretending to be fine.
I may not love my new girl,
But we have only just begun,
We may not last,
Yet, she may be the one.
Who knows,
We may be in love once again,
But for now,
I'll think of you every now and then.

I shouldn't care,
But it cuts me deep,
To cut me off completely,
In one leep.
I can no longer check,
To see if you're okay,
It's probably for the best,
It'll be okay one day.
I just wish things were different,
I wish I wasn't such a ****,
First time I ever ****** up,
Didn't think it'll be like that.
I'd do anything to take back the words I said,
To those who shouldn't know,
But I didn't think,
My guilt suffocates as it grows.
Even though I'm moving on,
And the relationship is going well,
I still love you, but I don't want you,
I'm in some kind of hell.
I just want you back,
Just as a friend ,
You know everything about me,
This relationship, we can mend.
I don't want you,
I know that much for real,
I just can't leave us broken,
My wounds are to deep to heal.

I live each day a lie,
A white lie at that,
I'm running up a vertical *****,
Yet act as if its horizontally flat,
I don't want you to see my pain,
Not to save my pride,
But so you don't get upset,
And cry tears you try to hide.

I may have 'moved on',
But my love for you still kills me,
I think of you unless I'm with her,
She stops me from hurting completely,
She knows my pain,
Caresses the wounds and scars,
She releases my heart,
Knocks down the walls and bars.

There's plenty more fish they say,
And I know there are plenty of girls out there,
But are they for me?
I don't particularly care,
There's plenty of fish out there,
Its all they used to say,
I have a great catch,
But you were the one that got away...