To infinity and beyond isn't just a saying for me, it's a life goal.

I dreamt of you last night
For the first time in weeks
You once told me
That the thought of my body
Intertwined with yours
And the hope of us
Lulled you to sleep
In the mornings you would call just to tell me
That you saw me again
I'd ask you
How I looked
You would tell me
Lovely
You always looked better
In my dreams too
In insomnia
In late nights of why aren't you here
I knew the answer to the question
Before it left my mouth
Your heart was a house
With a two year lease belonging to someone else
I asked if she knew how lucky she was
To be able to live in you
A part of me always knew
That the reality of our combination
Was so far off from real
Our whispered promises
And breathless futures
Were nothing beyond fault line
I never should have crossed yours to begin with
Your voice
Still rings in my ear
Your leaving
Still fresh with sting
So abrupt in its existence
I used to count the days to you
What a foolish thing to do
When there was never a set date
I asked
When you were coming home
Forgot
That I wasn't yours to come home to
I would have locked my doors if I had known
You were just coming in to break things
And leave
You wondered if we could ever make it
Some nights I almost forget
You didn't stay to find out
Some nights
I see you
Last night
Was the first time in weeks
I don't remember
How you looked
Or exactly what happened
Only your words
And that you said
You are still waiting
For me

What a silly,
Silly,
Dream.

There are a million ways
To hurt someone
You seem to know them all.

I don't really know
Where home is
Right now
I'm still searching for a place
To call one
I'm still looking for somebody
To be one
I don't really know
Where home is
But I am determined
To find out.

It's as if
Time didn't want us to be together
Almost as much
As I did.

I share a bed
With anxiety
It's no wonder I can't sleep.