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K J Feb 2014
I am myself
and simultaneously
out of my body when
I write
There are words that are mine
and every person's and every thing's
I am not the author
I am the catalyst

This place, this page, this pen
Me, you
The air, the earth
The mundane, the electrifying
The sobering
The simple, the complicated
The tangible

These are the authors
all of it...all of this...
produces the words
that spill out of my body
effortlessly

It's the words that
I struggle for
cry for, fight for,
and bleed for
It's those words,
that are
mine.
K J Feb 2014
I just don't care
I don't care I have
to mail out 165 letters
by Friday
I don't care that
I need to find a DUE report
By 3 and it's already 2:30
I don't care that
I'm way behind on my work
In fact,
I don't care about my job
and I don't care
if what I need to do
even gets done.
Why am I here
Oh right, money
Student loans
rent
utilities
food
gas
How much do I give up
in order to be comfortable
but then again,
am I really comfortable
after everything that I
give up?
First world problems,
I know
I can't help it
I am a selfish being
The reality is,
I am very lucky
I have a lot
but this is not enough
I hate that part of me
that wants more
when so many
have so much
less
I just want to care again
K J Jan 2014
I am just a name on the screen
You don't know the sound of my voice
you don't know the color of my hair
or my eyes or my skin
You know I am professional
I can write well and
I can explain to you what went wrong
that one time
You trust me with your account
though you have never met me
Millions of prescription revenue
at my finger tips
and all you know about me
is my name.
hundreds of thousands of people
their names, their birthdays, their SSNs
All at my hands, I could take them all
An anonymous person
that you didn't know helped you fill your ******
You don't know me
I know that you have difficulty sleeping
high blood pressure, and were divorced in the last year
I know that you have 3 kids
One with a former marriage
And that the middle child has a learning disability
I know all these things about you
and you will never know me
you will never see me
or hear me
I am
just a name
that signs my emails
K J Jan 2014
The owl was in her nest
thinking
She scavenged for food
fed her chicks
she slept in the sun
she flew and fought
for a meager mouse
and hoped it was enough
she questioned her life
when all she wanted to do
after a long day of flying
was to learn how to run.
K J Dec 2013
The bubbly fizzy drink
in my 15 year old hands
My friends giving a toast
To our lost Eric
Our gaming imp that was
taken too soon
I was told to chug it
what did I know then?
I drank the bitter drink
The burning warming gin
the bitter bubbly tonic
They drove me home
My head felt heavy
I gave myself a sobriety test
in my parents kitchen
They thought we were
watching a movie
K J Dec 2013
It was summer
It was warm
There was *****
We left the party
and climbed the fence
I fell and hit my knee
You jumped so gracefully
We got undressed
You in your boxers
Me in my only matching pair
Us in the water
The water glistened
Your strong body
My delicate one
The pool lights were blue
and looked magical
Christmas lights
On our bodies
We laughed
We kissed
You held me
I held you
So young and
So free
I will treasure
this memory
always
Sweet like candy
Bitter like missed opportunity
K J Dec 2013
You looked at me
In the dark
In the back of the car
We both had been drinking

You said something
but no sound came out
it was a secret something
I didn't understand

You smiled at me
and winked at me
and grabbed my hand

Is that how you look at your girlfriend?
Is this how our relationship will continue?
Under the influence,
In the back seat of a dark car?

I pulled my hand away
I shouldn't enjoy that
I shouldn't want it

You get out of the car
I see the longing in your eyes
I can't want this
and neither should you
I push this feeling down
Into my Pandora's Box
for a rainy day

You walked away
We didn't kiss
We didn't say goodbye
But this was my goodbye
No more
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