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Kimberly Seely Jun 2015
I realized that I had my own friends
But you took them
Then he stood right in front of me
He was everything you weren't
He was smart and dorky
He was going somewhere in this spiraling world
He found a way to pull me back into sanity.
For the first time in a long time everything looked like it would get better
But of course you ruined that too
Now I'm holding on to him for the sanity I was once again losing.
But you didn't care. You just wanted a new plaything.
Now when ever you pass by my face turns red and I stare at the ground
One more push and I'll go over the edge.
I'm at the top of a building and I can't breathe.
My lungs feel like collapsing and staying on the pavement.
Even after I jump.
The pavement looks soft and comforting from way up here.
But here he comes to finally give me that final push...
What?
He grabbed my hand and pulled me down hugging me.
He told me that if I jumped than he would.
If I slept on the pavement he would sleep with me by my side.
I decided that......
Pt 3 maybe. By the way this is all metaphorical.
Kimberly Seely May 2015
My head is spinning again and spiralling out of control
I've already lost my sanity what else could I possibly lose
It began with small subtle things and then it progressed
First just what I thought was true friendship
Then playful humor
Non serious flirting
Then it happened
I was on the bus normal day then you said that you were about to do something stupid
You were right.
I wish it had never happened
You kissed me.
Then I did something even more stupid and kissed you back
I really wish that it had never happened.
Now in the hallways you won't even look at me
And now I'm almost at the edge falling when...
I realized that I'm okay
That I didn't need you
That I have my own friends
Look out for part two. And this is real it actually happened. And we don't even look at each other. We also have a class together. The awkwardness is real. And this was actually my first kiss. I guess that nobody likes their first kiss.
Kimberly Seely Feb 2015
So I'm 15 now.
Halfway to middle aged.
A fourth of the way to death.

9 years ago I was 6.
I was starting school.
I made my first best friend.

6 years ago I was 9.
My dad told me he wasn't coming back.
I met my forever crush.

3 years ago I was 12.
Hung out with my friends every weekend.
Didn't care what anyone thought about my looks.

2 years ago I was 13.
Really got into guys and what they thought.
Lost weight and started wearing makeup.

1 year ago I was 14.
I started high school and became depressed.
I finally started seeing myself without crying.

I'm 15 this year.
My life will get better.
I'm gonna make the most out of my life.
So I'm not 15 yet but I will be on Thursday. And this wasn't meant to be sad or depressing. It shows how I want to get better.
Kimberly Seely Feb 2015
I stare at the ground
I do it so that you can't see the tears in my eyes
So that you won't laugh at me

I stare at the ground
Because my shoes don't call me stupid
So that I can hide

I stare at the ground
I hope that if I can't see you, you can't see me
I just want to disappear

I stare at the ground
I don't want you to see me smiling whenever your around
I can't be hurt

I'm done with staring at the ground
I want you to see me, my tears, and my smile
I want to see the world with my head held high
People at school make fun of me for looking at the ground. But the ground is just way more quiet and peaceful.
Kimberly Seely Feb 2015
Happy and laughing at six years old
Until the first grade boys called her ugly
She cried every night and repeated everyday

She finally made a friend after two years of torment
Finally smiling but you push her to the cold earth below her
And she falls deeper than ever before

She went to her first party at eleven years old
Played spin the bottle and ended up kissing a girl
You got a picture of it and posted it on Facebook

Everyone pushed her down with words and hands
Started chanting "***, ***** eater, **** , and queer
She never wanted to kiss that girl she only wanted to play the game

High school never was fun for her she was alone
Only her, her scars,her razors, and her thoughts
Someone finally pushed her over the edge, she finally gave up

You pushed her up to the lockers and said
"No one likes you ****! Just die you stupid little emo!
Drink bleach and finally do something useful in your life!"

She did as she was told but first wrote
"I'm sorry for whatever I did that made everyone hate me.
And I'm sorry for waiting so long to do this."

What did she do? What about her family?
Why would they be so mean? I only have one question
Was it really worth it?
So I've been seeing a lot of bullying at my school and it makes me really mad. I mean why do people have to point out flaws and hurt you? And I'm NOT homophobic in any way. This is just stuff I see all of the time where people make fun of sexuality and it's NOT funny. Suicide is just a game to people and depression isn't funny. I would never ever in my life tell someone to **** themselves no matter what they've done to me.
Kimberly Seely Jan 2015
I have tears in my eyes and you push me away
This is friendship?

I laugh with you and am given a ***** look
This is friendship?

I tell you I love you and you leave me behind
This is love?

I tell you if I cry yet you can't tell your in love
This is love?

I listen to you and try to understand but all you do is scream at me
This is family?

I tell you I'm in love and you slap me with insults
This is family?

I cry every night and I know it'll never stop
This is life?

I want to die and stop breathing and scream for help though it never comes
This is life?

I never have to hurt again
This is death?

I can stop having to pretend to smile
This is death?
What would you choose?
Kimberly Seely Jan 2015
Goodnight my sweet dark prince
And whisper to me as I sleep.

For this time I may offer myself to you
With silver and scarlet

But take pity on me for I must be fixed
I've been broken like a window and a stone

If you don't come to me then I'll
Run to you because...

I need the extra push off the ledge
To fix me so that I can truly smile

I'll give myself to you completely and
willing even gladly

I'm tired and I'm ready to sleep
In my bed of black six feet underground

So Goodnight my sweet dark prine
And kiss me goodnight on my last night of eternity

— The End —