I have always wondered
what it would
feel like.....  
to enjoy the idea
of aging alongside you...  
as we watched our dreams
learn to walk by themselves
as we question
if whether or not
patience would recognize
Its very beginning
in our souls ..
just enough
to give it a taste
of our world....
look...  
I'll hold onto
your memories
as if they were
the smoke
from the cigarette
I have just inhaled
as if it weren't
somehow slowly
trying to **** me
on the inside ..
I'll watch the sky
and lose myself
in the shallow winds
as smoothly as it
brushes against my cheeks
almost as if
they were trying
to take a peak
into my solitude
it feels pleasant sometimes
like sort of
getting to hear yourself think
and I've been thinking...  
I want a love
that goes beyond
******* in the front yard .  
my heart
doesn't have
an on and off switch ....
do you know.   ?
what have you been feeling
looking back
on all of this?
I'm not sure
if you were mine
for the pain or the insanity
knowing I was
a hopeless romantic
who couldn't wait
to fall in love
as if I was a young girl
playing in the mud puddles
and lords knows
how much
I had a thing for rain
I always seemed
to fall like it
broken and hopeless . .
willing to fall for anyone
Or anything
that stood in the open
long enough to catch it...  
that was you...  
and I...  
in love...  
once upon a time
-Thembekile Kilay Deh'Poet Tsaoane

it's amazing right
that one poem
can be about
a thousand people
yet only one person
will eventually
understand it....
they say imaginary friends
tell us about ourselves
and our dreams
before we knew the world ....
so imagine..
that I was your friend
and this was a movie...
and somewhere
in between buildings
sand castles
and building forts
in the tree house
you found...
a portion of yourself
hidden deep within
my Iris....  
and all you wanted
was to run in my mind
while I was running
next to..  
from you...  
tag..  you're it..  
then you run
and I chase after you...
until we find ourselves
walking down the isle...

-thembekile Kilay deh'poet Tsaoane

shoot to the moon
but be gentle
with it
why is it...  
that I was constantly
counting on the stars
and you..  
you spent most
of your time praying
when every inch
of your body
was so majestically ...
creative
that you were
reigning my thoughts
at some point
the storm was unbearable
I..  
I hate when
my heartbeat
turns into tears
and my body
can't help but
to pool the very essence
of your memories
to flow right beneath
my skin...  
I pray
for the day
when my lips
can express the words
I love you
and my heart doesn't
have to mean it
the day when
you're no longer
an extension of myself
when finally I find
that I am brave enough
to purge myself
of your memories

-Thembekile Kilay deh'poet Tsaoane

I want to run
through your mind
while you try
your best
to unlove me
until the opening
of my legs
feel like a vacation
you're in desperate
need of but....
you can never afford
I wonder..
how many souls
that will become
the ancestors
of the next generation
have embraced
the very essence
of your bedsheets

-Thembekile Kilay Deh'Poet Tsaoane

here's to...
an unbeatable first time
when you didn't
want to rush
but the blood
flowing through you
couldn't help
but to race
with your heartbeat
and ...
I..
I was never really
an angel myself
so the only guiding
I could execute
was directing
the surface of your skin
to the inner most parts
of my soul....
they say..
you never really
heal where it is sore
if you keep
touching up on it
there will always be
grave repercussions...  
Do you remember the time
we kissed danger
upon its lips
I can still taste
a hint of you
just by crossing
a red light
I guess blood
is thicker than water
so I'll always feel you
beneath my skin
before I can can swallow
my last pill
and even way before
I can cry. .  
~Thembekile Kilay Deh'poet Tsaoane

days don't really
name themselves
but I'll start off
by naming this one "us"
in the courtyard
last night
I can't really phrase
the look on your face
that somehow seemed to crave
what I knew as my soul
but you only knew as my body
to be honest..  
you...
you. . .
you're the type of soil
that dreams are made of
just enough to retrace
the memories of what
I expected of you and I
just below the moon
it's amazing
how the wind
always forces things to return
and...
your love was like the shade
rotating around me
as if they were clock pointers
accounting the hours
I've spent just ruminating
upon thoughts of you
I have felt things
that I never even thought
that I could feel
and yet somehow...
despite the tears
despite this sweet desolation...
somehow...
the best interpretation of my heart
was birthed through
the cracks of my brokenness
but at least
you..
i have someone
to dream about...
you...
I'd like to wear
the memories of
the deepest parts of yourself
you allowed me to explore
like a mask on my face
and define it
as my smile
~thembekile kilay deh'poet tsaoane

Midnight remedy

Making my way home
With a hint
Of your scent
On every inch of my body
I can tell that
You've been wanting this ....
9pm. ..
Last night ...
I should have been
In the comfort of my own bed
Dreaming about
All of the things my body
Craves to achieve on yours ...
But I was there ...
In your embrace....
How innocent you looked
As you lost yourself
Comfortably ,
In the opening of my legs...
I forgot to tell you ...
How  beautiful your eyes were...
With my legs open
Like the pointers of a clock
At the twelfth hour of midnight...


♡thembekile kilay deh'poet tsaoane