The snow can't hide your ashes
It can only bury them if you smoke the night before
So if I smoke in the morning, it's going to show.
I tried using it as an ashtray,
But the evidence was visible.
I felt bad for tainting the beautiful white glow.
I fell in love with the landscape,
Even more so when it was covered in white.
I fell in love with you face,
Even though I don't know where it's been.
I fell in love with the footsteps,
Walking to where I stand.
I fell in love with the rooftops,
And the people who let go.
So if I use my lungs as an ashtray,
I know my body is covered in snow.
I can use perfume to cover the evidence,
But only time will let me know
If this morning cigarette was worth it.
If the messages were worth it,
I'll probably never know.
So if you see my reflection,
In those snow covered hills,
Just remember it when my face was white and pure like the freshly fallen snow.
I can't keep falling
For people and landscapes,
But I can keep trying
If my lungs can withstand it.
So take my voice and remember it
For all that it was.
Take my heart and keep it
Away from the cold.

willows weep at the doorstep of a ravine
back home, where I grew up,
a long time ago in Michigan
Cardinals and Redheaded Woodpeckers commonplace
Cherry trees
Mulberries
my favorite grew ripe and sweet,
better than cherries, then.
As the valley creeps away in my memory
the magenta berries remain
in my head.

Yesterday is far too far away to touch,
A fleeting memory, just beyond grasp
Slipping, sliding further away from the moment
When words left tongues to touch ears
Now all that’s left, a hazy snatched picture
Of a portion of perfection, frozen in this head

when the doll's hair
became so tangled a
wild toothed comb could
not soothe it,
I took the big scissors
in wild frustration
from the drawer in the kitchen
and hacked away at
Lucy's hair like a drunken
maniac.
her duck-speckled
printed eyes
closed their mechanical
lids each jolted snip
and a soft tick ticked
as coarse lashes hit
**** plastic
the more
that fell in chalk white chunks
from one side the more
I extracted from the other
like a wonky scale
until the spilt strands
covering the floor
tumbled tears down my  
fleshed pink cheeks
and I ran away to hide
under the duvet.