i want to know about all the boys
who have loved you before me
and how many of them
you said you would love forever

i don’t want to make your list
of forgotten yesterdays
or names that you can’t stand
to hear anymore

i want to create something new
a love you never thought
you could possibly feel
for any human being

there are shallow forevers
that float from my mouth
but you are heavy
you are real

keep me close
it’s been seattle in my head
and i can’t quite find my way
back to a sunny coast

i need you to hold my hand
and pretend i’m not crying
when you can feel my tears
soaking the sleeve of your sweater

i know i’m a writer
but i’m not always good
at translating the language of my head
into words you’ll understand

sometimes
i just need you to keep me close
and hold my hand
even when you don’t understand

kiss me like you’ve never kissed anyone
like you’ve never had a boy
leave you feeling sick
let go of all your apprehension

let me permanently plant my lips
to the rough edges of your body
so that just maybe
i’ll give you enough motivation to keep going

i might be hard to love
but i’ll love you so hard
all of your bones break in halves
from the force of my soul

tell me, my love
do you really believe in me
the way i so desperately want
to believe in myself

you think i can move mountains
but i have to get to the mountains
before i can even think about
shoving them around

i'm stuck in a river
that doesn't know which way to flow
sometimes i'm three miles closer
and seven miles farther

tell me, my love
do you really believe in me
but truthfully,
i hope you do

don't lose me in the sunlight
i want to be your pretty boy
kissing you sweeter
than the cream filled coffee

i cannot dream of letting go
of your hand when we are together
and i wish you were here
every second that we are apart

we can get lost in rain forests designed
like labyrinths from greek myths
but it won't matter
as long as we belong to each other

you were my first girl kiss
and it was clumsy
and it was bad
but we did it six more times

we stopped talking four days
after that kiss
and you moved away
three months after that

you were two years older than me
and that seemed like a lifetime
when i was thirteen
and sneaking out of my house

sometimes i wonder
what you're doing now
or if you're happier now
than you were here

finally
i've collected the remnants
of my battered heart

i found paper clips and staples
to hold my organs together
until i find needle and thread

i'm not sure when that will be
it took years of self hate
to merely sort through the mess

i don't need your help
to keep me sane
but it'd be nice if you stayed