Is anyone out there?
Does anyone care?
I may have lost my best friend,
Now my heart feels bare.
For years we were inseparable,
But that is no longer true,
Something stupid has separated us,
And now I'm feeling blue.
A bond so strong,
We could tear any army down,
Now so weak,
And I am the one on the ground.
I'm trying to reach you,
But you keep walking away,
You've left me on the ground;
Won't you please stay?
Come back for me,
Please, I'll do anything I can,
To make it up to you,
Please understand.

Sometimes I catch myself
Thinking about things,
Nothing specific,
But everything all at once
And I wonder if you
Ever do the same.
Not necessarily if
You think about me,
But if you find yourself
Spending hours just sitting there,
Or perhaps laying there,
Thinking.
And maybe I cross your mind
Every once in a while,
Or maybe I don't,
But if I did;
I'd sure hope so,
I wonder what about me
You're thinking of.
The way we used to be best friends,
Or how we started to
Fall for each other
All those years ago.
Maybe you think about
The way I used to kiss you,
Or how I breathe in deeply
Just before I begin to cry.
Do you ever think about
The way we used to cuddle,
Or watch movies--
Though they are one in the same.
I used to think we were
One in the same,
But I guess now we are both
Our own "one".
So yes, I wonder if you think of me,
Because I think of you,
But I don't just think of all the people I know,
I think about the way you looked at me
Before every kiss,
The way you held my hand,
Even though your arms were too long
And mine too short, so we had to walk
Kinda funny to make it work,
But we did, because we cared.
I think about the way you smelled,
The messy, neatness of your hair,
How your boxers used to stick out of the top
Of your shorts about 2 inches.
I think about your favorite brown belt,
And your lunch box and backpack.
The way you used to look at me,
And the feeling I got in my stomach
After every glance from you.
So tell me,
Do you ever think of things like that?

People always say,
"I'm sorry for your loss",
And, "They're in a better place now".
But really, a person that
You were close to is gone,
Not just temporarily, no,
They are dead.
Deceased, dead, passed away,
Kicked the bucket,
Death, gone, angelic,
In heaven, with the Lord,
However you want to put it,
They are gone, and they aren't coming back.
They may have died of natural causes,
Or maybe had a heart attack,
Maybe they had a rare condition,
Or maybe their heart was full of plaque.
Maybe they were killed
By someone with a heart of stone,
Or maybe they died during ***,
Their last breath-- a strong moan.
They could have died in surgery,
On top of the operating table,
Or possibly they killed them self,
Stabbing, pills, or hanging with a cable.
Whatever the cause of death may be,
That person is no longer here,
People die all the time,
Everyone we know will soon disappear.

If you have too much ***,
You're a ***** and a ****,
If you don't have ***,
You're a liar or a baby, what?
Losing your virginity,
Is something you only do once,
If you do it too late or early,
You're a dunce.
Society pressures us
All differently,
But honestly, I'd rather be a *****
Than a "liar baby".

I want to be remembered.
I feel like it's so generic to say,
But my biggest wish is to be known
After my death;
And for people to wish that
They had the opportunity to meet me,
Have a conversation with me,
And really get to know me as a person.
I want to be accomplished,
Rather than a pile of ash
After death.
I want people to search my name
Looking for a biography online,
I want people to write reports about me
And read books about my life.
I don't want fame and fortune
During my lifetime,
But I want the knowledge of
Being acknowledged and remembered
Well after I am gone.
The wish is the easy part,
Making it happen...
That's a different story.

If I could somehow turn back the clock,
I would change a lot of things.
I wouldn’t tell my parents how much it irritated me when they chew,
I would spend more time praying and trusting my faith.
I would still go to church and read my Bible.
I would slurp spaghetti, one noodle at a time.
And I wouldn’t waste my entire high school career moping over you. You aren’t dead, you weren’t stripped from me. You chose to leave, at that’s that, your choice. We all make choices that hurt other people, and unfortunately for me, I’m the one that got hurt. I spent so much energy, cutting into myself, and sobbing into my pillow. I blew everything out of proportion. I missed you, but that was no reason to hate my friends that you also dated. I was a *****.
If I could somehow turn back the clock,
I would fix all of that. From the moment you broke up with me, I would’ve tried to fix things between us, and if it didn’t work, I would have moved on to avoid my whole depressed phase. I was a *****. If it were possible, I’d stop that from ever happening.

It was the 25th
which meant only one thing
a trip to grandpa's house
every 25th of every month
we traveled the 10 minutes
down the gravel road
to see my grandpa
and his rocking chair

man that rocking chair
sculpted from reddish brown wood
balanced perfectly
like a pedestal
I had never sat on it
just out of respect
I admired from afar
every 25th

my grandpa was always in that chair when I arrived
rocking back and forth
and forth and back
like Galileo's pendulum
rain or shine
snow or wind
when I pulled into that driveway
my Grandpa was in that chair

it fascinated me as a kid
like he was some video game character
programmed to do this mundane task
it was familiar
it was calming
but I grew older
and thought about that chair less
along with my family

but every 25th
even on a windy day like today
I'd travel down the gravel road
to see my grandpa
when I arrived the chair was rocking
back and forth
forth and back
but my Grandpa was not sitting

i like to write about
everything that
reminds me of you

Sometimes I have to remind myself
that just because the years have changed
it doesn't mean
the person has

You were a giver,
You gave me everything,
Thats why the worst day,
Was when you grew your angel-wings.
You went up to heaven,
And looked down from up above,
You kept on giving,
You gave me all your love.
I make it through day by day,
Because your love absorbs the pain
And knowing that you're watching,
Is all that keeps me sane.
Though you barely knew me,
Or maybe you just don't remember,
You're my guardian angel,
A special gift that I treasure.
You lie within my heart,
Your spirit in my dreams,
When I'm asleep I feel close to you again,
Closer each night, it seems.
Rest in peace and take it easy,
You are loved and deeply missed,
What I would do for more time with you,
Has me sad and kind of ******.
A blessing to many,
A spirit that must live on,
You were one of the greatest I've know,
Nana, I can't believe you're gone.