the slow swirl
of a cloud
in a endless sky
wandering
among the stars
as the moon dims
a dream fades
remembered briefly
at sunrise
i wake up crying
for a life
i've ever lived

If you're gone
where the hell am I

Your laugh echoes
crashing off empty surfaces
ricocheting in my mind
through my ribs
I can't find the source
And the smile is gone
nothing to wrinkle your eyes
crescendo of happiness
splayed across your face
And I can't see your face
it's right there in my mind
nearly touching you
feeling the warmth
always warmer than me
And I ache
with this ricocheting laughter
with this missing smile
with this coldness invading my body

I'll keep reaching
my whole life I think
I will be reaching
popping bones from sockets
joints and tendons and ligaments
stretching skin until it's taut
and maybe even tearing
just to feel a graze
just a graze of warmth
see that crescendo of happiness
mirrored on my own face

But you're gone
And where the hell am I

Her eyes are as if it’s a new world. Her eye’s glistening bright as stars. Her eyes are full of pure wonder yet has beautiful scars. Scars that only make that galaxy shine brighter the stars simmer light the moon light on water

Then

Then it felt right
Then it was exciting
Then it was fresh/new
Back then.

Then you were with me
Then you were mine
Then you had the time
Then you were happy and free
Back then

Then you felt the love
Then you smiled about our special moments and all those memories we shared
Back then

Then something changed
Then the feeling disappeared
Then things felt different
Back then

Then it was just me
Then I felt lost
Then I had to pick up all the missing pieces
Back then it hurt so much.

Now

Now it’s a distant memory.
Now it doesn’t seem to matter.
Now most of the pain has faded/vanished.
Now it’s just me and I’m happy and free.
Now

Now I am free.
Now I feel happy on my own.
Now out of no where I have met someone new.
Now I am enjoying this new journey together with him.
Now.

Now for what the future holds
Now for our story still to be told.
Now for all the special moments that we’ve already shared had/and still to be shared.
Now with him being there.
And seeing/feeling how much he cares.
Now in the ‘now’
Just with me
-Now.

© By HF-Whisper
17/1/2023-13:11PM-13:30PM

i finally told him
I want to try.
with you.
I want to try, with you.
I want to be with you.
I want to be with you.
because it's been there
at the forefront of everything
Waiting to be said
okay. okay.  like a sigh--
I had been trying all night
From the moment he threatened
To drive away, standing insolently
In front of his headlights--
but he was quiet and
all i could do was smile
and say, but that's not
enough anymore, is it?
no, it's not.
but I know why it isn't,
and why this poem is
short with so very
few
words.
because decisions are
yes or no, but some yes'
are too
late and
some no's
follow in suit.

And if the girl with black eyes is as pure as anyone why does she bleed the blood of a criminal and if there is no one waiting for her why does she still purr up through the warming whippled rafters and along the whispering telephone wires and up to the moon which has begun to peel and if the moon is not listening why does it return and if there is beautiful power in locking eyes with the one you used to love but cannot let yourself love again why are my hands limp and numb and heavy as if I’ve never had feeling in them before and if this world was once as round as a grape why is it now so twisted and if justice has been served on a silver platter why are the most titled people as empty as death and if it hurts to watch why do I watch at every chance I get and if deep inside I want to fold in two

(even as I raise my two
                 arms up
with their numb hands dangling)

why
do I
begin to rise