You may play me, manipulate me, trick me
But in the state of it all, I still move forward

You may try to break me,
Using words that cut deeper than knives, or physically harm me
But in the state of it all,
I am still who I am, and I will not change

You may force me into a locked room
Restrict me from the place I long to go
But in the state of it all,
I will find a way to unlock the door
I will find the path to the place I long to go

Though pain may rain down
From the clouds of hardship and suffering
In the state of that storm,
I still move forward to find the right path as myself

I dwell by the well in the forest
And look into the crystal  clear water
While sunlight flit between the light green leaves
And white light clouds dance across the sky
I  watch the goldfish swimming near the stony bottom
I watch the small secret world of a hidden pond.
With my coffee colored eyes,
I gaze upon the small shiny fish
I wonder if the swimming fish with scales of gold
Dream of a bigger world
Where they can fly and sing like the songbirds
Or roam in the grass like the doe
Or are they happy in that hidden pond
in the well that dwells in the forest
Because that is all they know?

I am tired...
Tired of trying to quiet
the racing thoughts in my head
Tired of putting on that fake smile everyday
Tired of losing each battle everyday, knowing that I won't win this war
Tired of feeling hopeless
Tired of waking up and questioning whether I will make it through the day
Tired of the raindrops falling from my eyes onto my pillow
I'm
so
tired
of
this
life

All the hopes and dreams I used to have
All the happiness in my heart
My will to live
All up in flames
All because of one letter
On a piece of paper
Called a grade

All my trust
My ability to love
My willingness to open up
The key to my heart
All up in flames
All because of one heartbreak
All because of him

My life, set on fire
My life, all up in flames

Was I just a puppet to you?
A simple pawn to your game?
Was my heart just your playground or the targets in your shooter's range?
Were those "dates" just a way to keep me blind from all your *******?
Was I just a simple flask for your little experiment?

You put on quite the show, you were quite the actress
You made "I love you" sound believable
Oh, how sad that this play had to end in a tragedy
Now the curtains close even though I thought the show was going to go on for eternity
I really thought that you were going to choose me
But our love was just a fantasy

I'm still in denial, seems like it's been a while
Even though it's only been 2 days
I'm losing sleep, I'm not eating
My whole body's shaking from this heartbreak

I want to stay but I'm losing faith
From the way you played my heartstrings
The hope that I was the one is gone
I guess I can congratulate you and say "well done"
You stabbed my trust with your thorns
You trampled my roses that I grew for you
I'm walking away, I'm not your toy
Go find someone else, go have fun with your new boy

A girl walked into my life
She asked me out, treated me like I was worth it
She gave me a sign that she loved me, made it seem like we were more than friends
You even called me your love...
I guess I forgot the walls around my heart were there
I was so sure this time was it
So I took my shot hoping this was it
But I missed, and I realized that this time was no different
She was experimenting what would happen
If she acted this way towards me
Played my heart like a song of betrayal
Broke my heart to pieces, like the dots on a dice
Why did I break my walls down?
How did I not know that you were just a liar
Who thinks it’s fun to make me a pawn in your game

Red plastic solo cups littered on the floor
Confetti spilled on the table, glitter everywhere
Unfinished food, unwashed dishes
When all the people leave

A few hours ago we were young again
We danced and sing without a care
But when the party’s over the real world crashes down
There is no one to stop me
From drowning in the sea
I’m sinking down further into darkness
The disco lights seem cold, the balloons don’t fly as high
The music seems to loud to bear
When the party's over, it seems no one is there

I remember...
The excitement and nerves in the air
As the stage lights come on and we prepare
The sparkle of our pants shines when we are met with cheers
While we welcome 2020 the new year
Our dragon and lions dance to the drums
Our cymbals and gongs beckon people to come
We lift each other up to the stars
Just like the family that we are

I remember…  
Hearing children’s laughter
And getting ice cream after
Goofing off with friends backstage
Oblivious of the fact that this was our last page

Who knew that we had taken our final bow?
There are only pictures and videos of us now.
If I had known that this is the last time the spotlights die
I would have said a heartfelt goodbye
But all that’s left is the bittersweet taste
Of the memories left on our stage

Some girls are red roses
Romantic and loving
Bold and red

Some girls are sunflowers
They shining like the sun each time they enter the room

Some girls are carnations
They love the sisters that they have

Some are lilies
Tender, floating and graceful

Some are cherry blossoms
So pretty but only bloom for a couple of days

What kind of flower am I, you ask?

I am a wildflower
Nothing holding me back
I have the fire
Burning inside of me
I am a cage less phoenix
And no trap will trap me
I am the tameless spirit
Of a wildflower

Without my name I belong to no one
I am no longer in association with my kin
Those who have brought me pain, those who have brought me love
Those who have abused me, those who have built me up

Without my name I am just a person
No one knows where I come from
No one knows my gender
I am just me, no strings attached

Without my name, I am still the same me
It doesn’t matter if you call me Jia-Rong, JR, or Alex
I will still be the same person,
Because my name is not engraved in my DNA