Y’all inspire me honestly
a spark created from understanding
lately I ain’t had none
recently lost, GPS receives no signal
an abundance of mirages in the distance
all that’s left is scattered footprints
fading with the sands of time
look at me now, god I ask what’s mine
possessions all material, in a decades past that’d be fine
but a decades past and im left searching for meaning
a little substance with each meeting
a somber thought, that it took till the 18th to reach 2
lines [11] that meant any **** thing to me
my momma told me once, your name is the only thing you own
and family is everything
hard to believe seeing how my abode was shattered
before I had the age to maintain a substantial memory
in time I was interested in some concept called love
held strong by the idea of monogamy
so I searched for someone special
something like a song in ‘04 called “Follow Me”
the melody did me good, my therapeutic remedy
word to confessions,
word to lessons taught to a confused adolescent
dreams I once had shattered by my peers
so my once booming voice grew gradually quiet
so it’d never reach their ears
but I forever remain sincere
even when laughter and ridicule is all I hear
my goal in 13 is to banish my fears
my vow this year is to make this blurred vision clear
reconstruction of the confidence that was once lacking
step up with the school work because I've been slacking
and becoming the individual my true friends are always backing
because it's time I reach my potential.

She used to like sing with me
One of the first was "My Boo"
It had a ring to it
She wanted to sing out loud
I couldn't go through it,
The hardest thing to admit
was I was going through it.

She caught me through music
the constant thing in my life
see the rhythm and beats soothed me
it brought peace to my life
she understood that, so we shared it together...
on the phone from 6 to 12
we never really noticed though
conversations were timeless
and I got stingy cuz I knew she had to go
forgetting that there was always tomorrow
Last few words were:
"I'll try to stay on but if I hang up you already know"
...[click] and there she goes

The first person that was ever there
and I never had to ask her
it was procedure
she would call me every night
but sometimes on the house phone
just cause she liked to see my sweat
especially when we had that stupid little bet
and I was invisible
see I thought she couldn't do it
but it's like it didn't faze her
first time I realized how important she really was
she completed the puzzle.

Eventually she had to go her own way,
I respected the distance
but offered my help if ever she should need it
words were never traded
new music became dull
and with the old I heard her voice
just as she would sing it.
Time passed and she came around like a boomerang
picking things up where we left them...
with promises to always be there
and also to be irreplaceable to one another.
Thing is I can't even remember why we started singing that fateful day
but what I do know is that day brought me a friend
that only death could separate me from
so no matter what comes our way,
I promise to be there if the song isn't enough to numb the pain.

What I continue to wonder though is:
am I actually being a friend,
or do I continue to push her away
with a love I can't shake?

I know sometimes I can be selfish
but in the end,
I just want to see you laugh,
see you smile,
see you living life to the fullest.

-James Desire

So I guess I was right
But I pushed it upon myself
And I regret it
But can we really not fix it?
Cause you don’t seem conflicted
Just convinced
That I don’t give a ****
Truth of the matter is
I acted upon the same influence you did
But it wasn’t purposely
Just something that would happen consistently
So I’d fade into the background
And watched on without a sound
Cause a confession to this secret was unnecessary, I found
That too much was built up to let it all fall down
Remember when I told you they could never replace you
Then you looked me in my eyes and you told me the same too
What happened to that?
Were those just words?
Or did I hear something different that my ears preferred
But that’s over now
At least for you
Cause the things I said
I said because I meant it boo
But in the end you just proved to me what I knew was true
That losing me in your life was the easiest thing to do

To whom it may concern:
thank you for your influence,
grateful to be your pupil
for your insight shed new light as to how to perceive the world.
As history carries along,
I'll reference back through the lessons
and pass them forward when it's needed.
You've succeeded in making a genuine connection,
I can only imagine your mentor did the same for you.
A metaphorical web you've spun to intrigue the mind.
Enriching mine.
Struggling to break free of the concept because I couldn't yet understand it.
Thank you for taking your time.
Taught me to deconstruct the process
and check my work then repeat.
Better safe than sorry,
talking bout I grew up on this show,
how'd I end up on stage with Maury?
Best friends one day, the next you're strangers,
nothing last forever is a phrase that's powerful in every language.
C'est la vie. That's life, C'est la vie!
Sometimes you'll find strife
or something you don't like and be forced to embrace it.
Heart racing, you're nervous but you've got to face it.
Please believe,
Once you live it, you'll learn from it.
Practice takes patience,
a lesson learned now I own it.
At times you may see something you like
and got to go chase it.
Have the confidence to take it,
anything you scheme up is feasible, believe it.
Anything you set your mind to,
you can achieve it,
as long as you work for it.
Just a few lessons from precious teachers,
whether they were licensed to do so or not,
thank you for your influence.
A Humble Student

A Message She’ll Never See
When did you begin to lose faith?
When did you stop believing in what could be
and come to the conclusion that it can’t?
Why do you want what hurts in comparison to what could work
I guess then I should ask why you should settle for less
when you can work for what you want
but it’s not like we’re kids anymore,
time has taught us that plus distance is an added factor
but we never added that
In some respect,
we could come together and still be those same people
who laugh and chill as if nothing ever changed
but it has and that’s what keeps us at bay
I could say “I love you”
but I could never mean it the same way
Then I could say “I miss you”
but that doesn’t guarantee that you’d stay.
People change,
I accept that but I just hope that you know
I pray that you never let go,
of this thing called love.

To Whom It May Concern
It’s  been a long time old friend,
it’s really nice to see you again
Unfortunately, we seem to have lost touch to the connection.
Throw my hands into the sky in the hopes that I,
I just might feel something.
Unfortunately, I’ve been grasping at air.
Reaching for that tear in fabric, tragic, they claim it doesn’t exist.
Somewhere along the line they must’ve missed the point
foolish, they make the kid seem ghoulish
see the ideas of my mind must be confusing
they must seem threatening to intimidate the likes of those who find me obscene
like outrageous, this train of thought must be detained
before contaminating the numerous brains that control the reigns
nothing but toxic fumes that do nothing but loom in the atmosphere
often I wonder exactly how I ended up in this place
at a young age I believed I wanted fame
and have beautiful women chant my name
but as more time passes I’ve learned
I just want to give people a good reason to remember my name
Legacy
even now that word resonates through me
I ask what will remain even after I fade?
will anyone remember the effort I made?
I just want to leave an impact on those who are willing to hear
and touch the minds of those who believe they’re misunderstood
to those who understand this fear
as paralyzing as it may seem
it often brings a sliver of rejuvenating truth
even when you start to sweat
and even though your hands may quake
remember that at the end,
you’ve given your words a pulse.

(Performance Extras)
[Clear]
Breathe.
[Clear]
In time it will come with ease.
[Clear]
All you need to do is speak!

Thank You!

An ode to you
Lovely
Whoever you might be
for being that someone to consistently revitalize my energy
I’m charged up over the thought of you standing beside me
reminding me to smile when I’m no longer motivated to
with all the pressures and expectations of the world
I couldn’t be happier to be lost in every moment we share
Indeed, the warmth of our embrace lingers on the expressions of our faces
well, at least it does on mine
I mean sometimes I just smile, in the hopes that you’ll smirk right back at me
as if I’m checking that there isn’t a thing you need
that I can get to you quickly
have you noticed?
My fingers often speak for me
when my lips don’t have the time to explain
lightly tracing the fabric that conceals your stomach
as if to reassure you, “I’ll be right here, just call on my name.”

hoping when our eyes meet again
you can see it’s you I’ve been seeking
peeking over in your direction from time to time
just to admire your radiance
baby the strength of your presence is pleasantly overwhelming
even now I lose sleep
over how the thought of you seeps into my mind
you deserve every rhyme
I intend to cherish every moment of our time
because of all the people and all the places
I can’t help but wonder
what luck I must have
to be able to have crossed paths
with someone so special,
such a beautiful soul
I just hope that you know
how genuinely happy you make me.

thank you for trusting me
thank you for loving me
thank you for being so light hearted and carefree
thank you for showing me,
that I wasn’t foolish to have believed in you
I’m simply happy I never withdrew and subdued
the internal tactician that usually plans too far in advance
killing the romance
All I want to do is reciprocate the feeling and keep you safe
thank you for reigniting my faith.
It’s so indescribable, what you do to me.

"Oh, I've finally got you right here
Tonight I'll ease your mind,
That's why I'm calling on you
and ooh,
soft your love's desire
it's hard to stay away
you keep me calling on you"

I could walk upon these words again and again
maybe that flew over your heads,
that was the bridge my friends
and after all this time he probably thought he was dead and forgotten
but listen here that "ooh"
of a crooner that simply learned it from you
resuscitated a gem from the archive just to prove
that your song made an impact.
Not just the sample but the words themselves live on in a tribute to you
and I was just one of those kids who loved those songs about love
you know because I'd imagine I'm the one singing to her like:

"baby you,
my darling only if you knew
these things that you do
when your simply smiling for me
but even more you
bring illumination to my days
when the skies aren't the right hue of blue
like the blessing of the sun's rays
after it's rained a few days
you, always seem to pick up my mood,
and I can do nothing but thank you
and show you how much you mean to me".

Just a few lines to describe a groove
a song to hold her tight and slow dance to
maybe a light a fire, just romance boo
because when the chorus comes around
I'll be all up in your ear like,

"Oh, I've finally got you right here
Tonight I'll ease your mind,
That's why I'm calling on you
and ooh,soft your love's desire
it's hard to stay away
you keep me calling on you"

~Just Another Reason To Adore The Art~
[Inspired by the music of Jon B.'s: "Calling On You" and Drake's: "Cameras/Good Ones Go Interlude"]

Written By: James Desire

And I wonder...
Can have a second or two to get to know you?
Shorty you've been on my mind and I know that we just met but you intrigue me.
Too good to be true isn’t nothing new and you probably heard these words before
but please believe me,
When I tell you you’re smile warms my heart
and that your frown is like a failed attempt at the "push to start"
No key detected, it's left a gap in your core
Never knowing what to expect, you wish for the best but aren't sure what's in store
Because these suitors don't seem to be genuine anymore
Well you know what they say, one man’s trash is another man’s treasure
My lucky penny
they kept dropping you because it's your value they can't measure
And lady treasuring that *** would certainly be my pleasure
All jokes aside, woman of your variety are close to extinction
And to tell you that you hadn't run through my mind all day would be a farce
But that's only because when you compare yourself to the average girl,
omething shines through clearly,  a certain distinction...
Respect and a belief that some things are still sacred,
Like love,
You free as a dove
Yet you allow these nobodies constrict your life
Paralyzed by the experiences I have yet to hear
Understand when you feel you can, I’ll be here
With an accepting and sincere ear
Finally when the night falls
and you feel the need to lay your pretty little head down
I’ll embrace you in my arms with kisses all around
and hold you tight until the sunrise
a few small moments built together which comprise
Of us :)

I wouldn't have said it before if I didn't mean it
It'll take a lot for me to leave you in this life
and I know I act in ways that frustrate you
but thats only because it's so hard to face you
I want to fix things though,
it's killing me how are relationship now
so I'm asking you for a chance for redemption
to say I'm sorry.


A Plead For Change
Only if sorry meant something to you anymore
Maybe we could start anew
I would respect you as my friend,
Flaws and all
So that you could speak to me unconditionally
And trust you with my heart again
I’m not even sure where I stand in your eyes
One word responses being the only response
Reminds me of a time where I acted the same
I was hurt and I tried letting it go,
But it clung on and wouldn’t disperse
We got over it then
And unless you completely hate what I’ve become
We can do it again
Now I really want to try,
I want to be able to put my arm around you and say
“Wassup Bud?”
I’ve got to admit, a main reason why I cared so much before
Was because I loved you too much to lose you
And that is still the same
But the only thing that changed is
I’m not willing to love someone that isn’t interested in me
So if we reconcile things, I’ll leave my heart in the past
I’ll love you like I always had but I just won’t cross the line
I just want to be a friend to you again,
Please let me be the person you know I could be
It’s difficult but I could try to do it
For you… and me
Because from what I believe,
You would think the same.
-James Desire
Thursday, April 21, 2011//1:28

As I Hold You In My Arms... (Re-write)
-Jimmy Desire

Tension is released,
my stress becomes joy all within a second
your aroma
so sweet
overwhelms me
with each breath I take
mesmerize me
I'm in too deep
Still, I won't leave
I'm stupid
steady looking for something out of nothing
So I hold you in captivity
just for a second
and pretend that you were mine
Imagine...
if these thoughts about you and I were true
What I would say
if I were to whisper in your ear
what I'd do for you,
or to you...
the gentle hand which holds you now
familiar
decides to take a change of personality
untamed yet aimed to please you
caress you
go on gasp for air cause you've got to
no disrespect but I want to worship
the temple that is you
when I kneel before you
no words needed I'll let my hands tell you
that your what I believe in
someone once told me
"show, don't tell"
apparently I never learned this lesson very well
and I know actions speak louder than words
but then why do these words seem so significant?
Because every word spoken has meaning
value,
and if not for you then I,
these words explain
A love that can never be broken

A Turn For The Worst
-Jimmy Desire

I got a disease
And need a remedy to feed it
Thought that the twilight
So bright
Could grant the one wish I needed
But What I Need is so hard to get,
So out of reach
I just can’t forget
The happiness, turmoil and all the in-between
Some day when I find out what this all means
I’ll take a look back and remember…
That my naive mind
Blinded by love
Could not conceive
That maybe,
Just maybe
I was not what you needed
Hm...
I wonder if you think I was conceded.
For I continued to cling to life
When clearly I was defeated
Torn
Was my heart from this lonely vessel
Fatigued
From the rhythm of its own beat
It lay dormant,
Asleep
Waiting for the day that it may meet
Another
And who knows…
Maybe other plus other
Could equal mutual love
And like the dove
Their love would soar
Giving hope to the hopeless
Those who had ignored it before
A chance to realize that their heart isn’t worthless
It just may be searching for more
In another.

And even the night's brightest star couldn't pierce the darkness that surrounds my heart.
With every beat my heart grows faint,
and the darkness devours just a little bit more of my love.
So maybe,
you could love me quickly
because before I go I would love to know that my heart beats for something other than to indicate that I'm still here
...alone.

Calm Before The Storm
-Jimmy Desire

The mist from the rain continues to linger on
I can’t seem to see what’s far beyond,
My reach…
I listen and can no longer hear your name
Forcefully,
The thunder roared
It called out in pain
Tears from the heavens flood the world again
Eventually sunshine soothes the rain
He reminds her that he’ll always be back again
So flood the world with sorrow once more
And I’ll make it shine again...

Captivation

James Desire



Confusion erodes my mind,
as I re-read the words that have been engraved in time
words from the one I claimed was mine,
but never really was...

It wasn’t allowed
you and I, Forbidden
yet we tried to break the rules
and rebellion just wasn’t enough

Time with you was priceless
now it seems it was all meaningless
and I’m not sure why
You said, “I will always think of you as my baby”
but now it seems like you don't even know me
and I know a lot has changed, but I’m not transparent
“Can’t you see me?”

-Sigh-

Why’d we have to drift apart,
Didn't you believe the promise I made you,
that I would never leave you,
that I could never replace you?
It’s like it was goodbye forever
and you let the rain reach us
just so that it could teach us
that I couldn't protect you anymore
and it was time you broke free

Now,
time has changed the girl I knew and loved
into a woman whose has enough and scorns the world for the pain it delivered
our ties never really broken, just severed
by tension or little disagreements

Is this enough to break the friendship we once had or are we just calling it quits?
and for the record you may not have been captivated but I was,
just not by who you are at the moment...
With all this said,
Do you still think of me as your baby?
because after all we’ve been through,
no matter what you say or do,
I’ll never want to leave you.
You will always be my baby.

As always words are just words until proven otherwise,
but do you really think that these words have no meaning
because if they have none, then all of this has been for nothing
your amusement of my emotion, all because of a thought, a simple notion,
that I wasn't good enough for you...

Conflicted
See my mind’s in one place,
And heart’s in another
I figure I’ll have to wait until they catch up with each other
Because if I consult one I must consult the other
It’s quite simple actually,
It’s either all of me or none of me
Conflicted…
I should pull away and let you be
But I can’t seem to do it.
Infected with a sickness
See I understood the conclusion
And let go
Let the distance grow between us
Miracle grow
But you’re repetitive
You tell me, “Sorry but we can’t be”
What? Do you and I not have much compatibility?
Or is it because I don’t have an ******* quality that all my life I’ve tried to avoid
Regardless, I make the best of a situation I’d rather put to rest
And see you daily to share a laugh but it ain’t the same
This is nowhere near the same
But that’s partially on me,
Got too accustomed in a place I don’t reside,
But no worries, I’ll just return to the shattered abode I call a home
Continue to write about what I see and let it fuel me until I feel again
I swear this **** is real, and I love it
I really ******* love it but until I have reason to profess it
I’ll suppress it and never again let a soul gain entry to mine as well as you did
But I’ll confess this, I’m happy I was able to help you with whatever you were going through
But my heart doesn’t agree, because it would’ve wanted to help you and but then have kept you too
But it happens and I accept that
I had fun and I’ll admit that
You say you’ll miss me, I believe that
But you shouldn’t…
You’ll be fine; you’re too strong for all that.
They say people we meet along the way will influence us,
I just hope I did my part.
The road you’re on is amazing
I wish I could see how you progress
But alas, I’m on my own road where numerous tests and challenges await me
So if I never see you again,
I ask you to smile,
Not just when something is funny
But in general, as you go about your day, smile
Give someone something to be happy about
Because I hope that’s what I did for you
Remember the nonsense that came out of my mouth
The countless hours we spent together just hanging about
Most of all remember how we met
Because if I could I would’ve went to see Lion King with you I swear
You were so beautiful then
As you are now, and I know you know, but I just like to let you know that I admire it.
I’ll miss you most out of everything this semester
I thank you for that
Please be safe miss and continue to do what you do
I know you’ll find a man suitable enough to be your king one day
So until then try to keep your bad *** out of trouble.
Love Always,
Jimmy Desire

"Great Scott"
Like Lucas and Nathan
Y'all ain't perfect but you're trying
Relying on something other than your name to take you far...
You're a star
But let you shine diminish as each person you thought you were close to,
Tarnishes what you hold dear
No fear sweetheart,
No fear
Claim what is yours
Speak loudly and proudly
So that the haters hear
Let them know you're here
And that nothing can stop you...
---
Back to the drawing board
Or better yet back to this blank canvas
familiar and inviting and yet I can’t help but wonder
how these words will create an image
I guess there ain’t no better way to find out
but to move onward
---
How ‘bout we search for some meaning
A little substance from the soul
I mean maybe I can’t sing but I bet you gon’ feel this
I’m just tryna be the realest
give my people something relatable
and also a fragment of me
writing about what I see
or what might be
the hopes and dreams
of a child in this restless city
gazing upon the night sky
pondering on his life’s importance
in comparison to the billions of stars that shine bright
could he possibly one day emit light?
give direction to those who might’ve lost sight
could he scheme up a dream as big as Martin did
and if so, would he reach the masses?
because lord knows in the days we live in
we need hope
but how does one cope
when hundreds of thousands of lives are being taken by dope or foots of rope
we’ve lost our way
a country that once proclaimed to be best
now stands on its last legs
and the people we elect to govern us
continue to dig us deeper into this hole
have we nothing left to show?

Late Night Blues
Old Style
Blue Color
Dark Shades
The scene starts under a streetlight
Trench coats in the rain
Two familiar faces meet to talk again
They don't look at each other rather
At the scenery
Dark,
all they can see is rain drops hit the ground
And hear the faint cars that zip around
Peace under the radiance that reveals them
They’re alone together
And when they both turn
To take their first glimpses at
Seeing who they haven't seen
Since who knows when...
She falls in his embrace
Reinforcing that he was missed
He looks at her and smiles
a glimmer in her eyes
The light dies
-Sigh-
Sunrise

-James Desire

Surrender aint no option for ****** who's head noddin'
to ignorance which is bliss
man, arn't ya'll sick of this?
I mean whyd ya'll go to college
Just to throw out all the knowledge
You were broke when you got it
replenished then you forgot it
like **** the ****** who taught it
...
Brain Dead
Corporate schemes
will take whichever means necessary to make their money
which means selling cancer in a stick is fair game
as long as the public is willing to stay tame
One of the leading causes of death.
I know we could stop it just surprising that we haven't yet
so why **** our own for murders that they committed
when the government is knowingly killing the population that it represents
They're just a reflection to what we allow ourselves to be
Ignorant
...
Celibate
to scared to take that step
united as a country
because in this story
there are plenty that are speaking
but nobody will listen
meanwhile generations that are to come
like my brother, the little one
will face the challenge we've all encountered
to either smoke or pass
and I hope when that times comes
he'll be able to answer his peers
and say he's time is done
before it even started...
[Learn Something...]

From the concrete who knew that a flower would grow
breakthrough and show the rest that anything is possible
struggle is everything the challenge is overcomming it
because if you dont how could you claim you have achevied anything?

Last night I saw the most beautiful thing
A woman held by the man she admired
he kissed her hand time after time while the night sky lit up in recognition of the 235 years of independence
**** those lights in the sky sure were bright
but this year she was the light to his world.
So i ask you lady to continue to be his guiding light
because clearly he's found something special in you.

I envy him too
because this affliction is a gift
and the game of hearts is delicate
luckily its brought him bliss
the same I'd always imagined with the misses
nonetheless, I'm excited that he's finally found it
something i have long to see...

Young lover
absent of the knowledge and experinece to confront her
and the inadequacy you develop as her eyes begin to falter at your image
and shimmer in another
I'm no one special
I'm just another other
Replaceable, if she would need another
Luckily she didnt...
and I grasped a part of her heart
so then if she ever needed me
I'd be there from the start
she asked to promise if the sands of time tested our friendship
would it diteriorate
or would I help make it stronger?
I promised I'd help to fix it
if it ever were to falter
In return,
I ask she'd keep faith and know I could not leave her
She's my best friend,
my life wouldnt be right without her

To the female with the inner struggle
miss, I wish you'd really let it go
even though I ain't one to speak
clinging on to that of which I never had
****, I know it's sad
but at the time,
she meant the world to me
and that's all that ever mattered

Now I've learned that time can accumulate distance
and you're so far gone that you've seemed to have forgotten
he's long gone
and in your fortress of solitude
you reminisce on the moments you shared
it’s no question that you care
but let me ask you a question,
do you think it's fair that your heart aches from a heartbreak
that occurred so long ago?
it's true that the scars you can't see be the hardest to heal
but letting it drown your mind ain’t the best way to deal
believe me I know how you feel
I’m guilty of the same
and from experience I can tell you that
that’s a place I wish to never go back

Realized I was so consumed with her
that there no one else I could possibly prefer
so innocently blinded by the thought of her being the one
I never took time to notice something was wrong
when I did the blame fell on me
when in reality it was her
but all that time ago perfection protected her from any judgment
my only fault, other than expressing how I truly felt…

So hopefully in time
you’ll realize you need to let go
because being reminiscent of what used to be
sometimes highlights what you used to see and believe
compared to what it was in reality.  
Some of life’s lessons leave us feeling like we live in a cold cruel world
but sometimes it just what we need to go on.
A few rhymes for the girl who claims I never have the time.
Be well my friend

To the female with the inner struggle
miss, I wish you'd really let it go
even though I ain't one to speak
clinging on to that of which I never had
****, I know it's sad
but at the time,
she meant the world to me
and that's all that ever mattered

Now I've learned that time can accumulate distance
and you're so far gone that you've seemed
to have forgotten
he's long gone
and in your fortress of solitude
you reminisce on the moments you shared
it’s no question that you care
but let me ask you a question,
do you think it's fair that your heart aches from a heartbreak
that occurred so long ago?
it's true that the scars you can't see be the hardest to heal
but letting it drown your mind ain’t the best way to deal
believe me I know how you feel
I’m guilty of the same
and from experience I can tell you that
that’s a place I wish to never go back

Realized I was so consumed with her
that there no one else I could possibly prefer
so innocently blinded by the thought of her being the one
I never took time to notice something was wrong
when I did the blame fell on me
when in reality it was her
but all that time ago perfection protected her from any judgment
my only fault, other than expressing how I truly felt…

So hopefully in time
you’ll realize you need to let go
because being reminiscent of what used to be
sometimes highlights what you used to see and believe
compared to what it was in reality.  
Some of life’s lessons leave us feeling like we live in a cold cruel world
but sometimes it just what we need to go on.
A few rhymes for the girl who claims I never have the time.
Be well my friend

-Jimmy Desire

It was a far-fetched dream to even to begin to imagine that you could be mine.
ignored the limitless amounts of time you said no
and translated it to maybe later...
because I never let anyone get to me the way you did,
and yet, you never wanted it
only desired the ones who you saw in your mind as ideal
should have noticed it then
you gave up our friendship for what you thought was real
can't say I blame you though because I did the same
even though you never wanted me there was a group of people I started to ignore because of you
regret it a lot because even if I didn't want to know they would tell me how to deal with you
and when to let go
but that option was non-existent to me until recently
I made a promise that I always intended to keep and I can still
but I don't understand why now a days you are so out of control
stories and stories bout what you did and with who
and it hurts me to know that's the way people talk about you
that's why I hold on to the past because I know whom you once were
I miss that girl everyday even though I can't have her
I mostly blame myself because maybe if I tried harder things wouldn't have end up this way
but who's to say what would have happened
so I'll put the past to rest as you request
and continue to live on with my life
but does that consist of you?

If it doesn't then maybe tomorrow shouldn't consist of memories of the past
just enjoy the present while we have it lasts
and for once when we say goodbye I'll leave it be
just like the way it was supposed to be

I still want to know why you write about someone you want to forget
while your with someone you called your best
and I know your past still haunts you
but numbing yourself to the point where your mask is literally your face is a dangerous chance to take
dont push away anymore.
what do you have left to lose?

Fragile

-James Desire



Your heart

A Flower

Ever so delicate

Takes time to bloom

In your case

It takes time to love

Or time to fall out of it

Even if you don’t want to

It might be for the best.



Your tears,

Trickle down your face

It breaks my heart

To see someone so beautiful

So strong

Sad and desperate for hope

Your eyes,

Become pregnant with the drops of your sorrow

Each drip

Echo’s louder than the last

You long for the sun

For with it she can express the spirit that has lie dormant

The sound of her voice

Although she may not realize it,

Brightens the day of many

Her smile emits the same cure

It’s a gift and a curse,

For she helps others

But feels diminished, empty

Her heart has infected her mind,

She follows its direction

Not realizing,

She is now impaired



Understand,

Your friends and I care,

Because you have shown that you do.

I’ve learned,

That the pain of a heart from another

Can be difficult to recover

But, possibly,

Together we can learn and grow

Because difficult isn’t impossible

Maybe,

Finally,

Conquer the sorrow that drowns us both

Reach a reality that once was a dream

A dream…

Happiness

ooh, I shouldn't care but I do.
I just like to talk to you
and listen to every detail that should happen to escape those lips
and inch closer with every thoughtful response and mistakenly steal a kiss
you ask what I'm doing,
I explain I couldn't resist, I just had to have a taste of something I could've missed.
You laugh but you insist not to let it happen again
see now we have a problem because what I had just taken from you was pure bliss
and I'd be ****** if I actually had to be restricted from this...
So you continue your story and I'm lost in mind,
stratagizing ways to make you mine.
In the meantime,
I'm watching you speak and become infatuated with your laugh and smile,
they're sight alone would be enough to have me run for miles...and it has too.
Now I have yet to reveal all the secrets you have concealed
but I believe slowly but surely
I'll get there and maybe eventually bring out the side that longs to be defiled.
And when I first met you,
you explained how your next man would be the one to walk you down the aisle
To be honest, I'm nowhere ready for that yet
but in the meanwhile why not take a chance with me?
because as time has gone by,
I've grown quite accustomed to you...

Free-Write 12
What's up with this feeling?
This unfamiliar feeling, dealing blows to my core
Bass shaking up the ceiling
I tremble with each quake trying to find stable ground
But struggle to find it, see I don't make a sound
The building is collasping and my mind gets to racing,
chasing an idea I haven't yet schemed up
yet another vivid scenero I've just so happened to dream up
a place where every thought and idea seems to fall and become debris around me
and my heartbeat emerges and lashes out wildly
as if to get my attention but I try hard not to listen
because my hearts desires arnt always morally acceptable
at least by my mind standards
You see I fear that emotion can drive us crazy
So I conceal apart of me because I couldn't seem to find a balance
And plus I'm tryna stay focused but it's strange without guidence
And at times when things don't happen to make sense
And the pressure gets too intense it happens to breakfree and dispense the nonsense that I've refused to hear into my consciousness.
Therefore I ask myself, what is this?
Why do I think when I must act?
I understand a need for caution
but maybe a leap of faith is a far better option
You've gone this far, don't hesitate, take action
If you fail, well good
Because if you hadn't how else would you have knew
I swear to you in time you will improve
Because in life there are things you must do
But you won't be able to if you can't prove
That when the oppurtunity shows, you will ensue.

And when I see her, my grin becomes a smile quickly…
A simple reaction actually, her smile is contagious
So even when I’m upset I become afflicted
And I love that but when we trade places
No matter how much I try, nothing seems effective
So I’m afraid she’ll get tired, get up and leave
That’s why I despise getting close, I hate deceit
Believing in something when it’s really nothing
And sure you may think I’m ruled by negativity
But in reality I’m cautious,
Simply trying to protect my positivity…
My heart seamlessly intertwined with these words creates sustainability
These words combined with my thoughts create invincibility
All of those previous things combined with my soul create vulnerability
Because writing brings me reassurance
But it doesn’t quite fix things
That’s what’s left for me to do
Then again, that’s only if I’m allowed to…
Now patience is a virtue I’m not quite familiar with
But I’ve become more familiar, in time, with you
Granted patience wasn’t the answer
Rather it was as simple as accepting what I already knew
Certain things are too good to be true
Now regardless of what’s occurred
We’ll get passed it because you mean way too much to lose
And clearly we’ve had our issues
But I couldn’t forget you even if I had the option to choose
Believe that,
The same way you should believe I have the upmost respect for you
So please forgive me for any vulgarity or offense that I may commit
Because you know me and disrespecting any female is the furthest thing from my wish
But what I do wish is that this distance between us doesn’t last
It just isn’t worth it…

-Jimmy Desire

how can an expression so simple
be so addicting?
smile is appealing,
mind is brilliant,
but it must be too early
I mean how could it be that you've infiltrated my thoughts
and reside comfortably in mind?
You're something else...
like Ne-Yo said,
"You're the best thing I never knew I needed"
and you've just succeeded in reminding me
that life's course holds a vast amount of surprises
you most certainly may be the most pleasant
and I know some of the best words are better left unsaid
but I just thought you deserved a little recognition.
A toast to my future queen, may you continue to shine on.

She once told me she was worth nothing
yet she did what others frowned upon,
and doing so truly made her happy.
That translates,
to me at least, that she has a lot self worth,
at the moment she knew the risks
and what people would say if they were to find out
but she would rather have a moment in the arms of the one she loved.
That’s courage sweetheart...
you are strong...
And yet through his eyes your drained of everything
I couldn’t anticipate what love could influence people to do
pushed against your own morals
that’s the battle
such emotion and passion allow us to do irrational things
and we know they’re wrong
But it feels so **** right
It’s a plight of your hearts desires
So go on girl, hold him tight
They’re plenty people asking for just
One More Night…

I.

Life is crazy
In the sense that we can find love over and over
In the sense that we lose life in a matter of seconds
We arguing about money we don’t really need
While others are suffering from a lack of accessibility
My teacher taught me with enough detail you can recreate the sensation of when you first sink into an apple and it’s juices burst from within.
Beautiful and sweet,
Sometimes when they’re so ripe you can feel it tingle in your cheeks.
Chunks of delicious fruit being minced by my teeth.
Just like back in the day,
sitting in class in front of fresh apple slices and a side of peanut butter.
It was so simple then,
but now we all feel a little weighed down by the pressure from life’s various complications.
Responsibilities passed down from our parents
meant intentionally or not.
Dangers of our environment,
brothers and sisters losing their ability to hold their mothers.
Worry some how much my children might see when I’m gone.
rainbows and sunshine
some things from my childhood that still enlightens me.
A rarity and reminder that the sun will shine again tomorrow.
Let me borrow your light when I’m lost in my dark spaces.
Tracing my fingertips against the rough rocky walls,
looking for a way out,
looking for signs of life.
A slight glimmer.
Look there in the distance how it glimmers.
Bring me back when I’ve lost my way.
Illuminate my eyes as if I’m being graced by the dawns first light.
My friends seem to guide me the same,
on days I hadn’t even realized I had been locked within my own temple too long,
scheming on the outcome of this trial.
Back and forth, pacing in haste as I worry in a perpetual way,
where the hell I belong in a world like this?

II.

Look me in my eyes.
Heavily brown
Welling up
Deep blue swimming pools.
I get lost in and forget how to swim
Head under water
Suffocating over thoughts of you.
I give too much to you.
All this love for you.
Unrequited
Or maybe just misunderstood
Her eyes just like mine
But darkened with time
Very rare that she smiles
Delicate calloused hands
Long days and longer nights
Working for everybody but the girl in the mirror
I know it may look like there’s no end in sight
But when you focus on you and only you
There’s no doubt in my mind you’ll find the joy you lost
Scary thing,
When money becomes the most important
And everything else is out of focus.
Just going thru the motions.
Wishing you could turn back the hands of time.
III.

It’s harder to believe in love once you grow up
Our perspectives change drastically depending upon what it is that we see.
Not many people have what we used to call “traditional” families
And yet end up having the most compassionate and caring of hearts.
I’ve always put so much into others,
My mother taught me that,
It’s scary to think how a like we are at times.
She also taught me that you must care for yourself
Because no one has the obligation to care for you.
Just love those who love you
Because they are a rare treasure.
Metaphorically tethered to each other’s hearts
Look how easily people become important parts of each other’s lives
Sadly we can just as easily watch as they fade
Life is complicated, we all come and go with the seasons
The same way we may meet a soul that may make an impact for whatever reason
Pick your encounters, and learn from them
Always strive to be a better you
And want to understand and love yourself better too
Because if you don’t who will?
I tell you for a fact that’s real!
It takes a “real one” to understand how I feel
But I’ve stopped looking, I’m just living and having fun
Just looking forward to more days like this basking in the sun
and writing stories in the moonlight
Occasionally taking my pencil as my pilot
Just to test the heights of how far my imagination could reach
Hot on my trail, follow me into infinity
I want you to see in clarity everything I can see
In the hopes I can relay this message perfectly
Give it your all
No shame if you fall
How can you stand tall?
If you don’t answer the call.

Another day,
another scribble on the page of life
why not make it extraordinary?
Leave your mark
like you were leaving ink splats all over the canvas
magnificent arrays of colors contrast and intervene
within the scene.
Resulting in a more vibrant display of life.
Strife exists each and everyday
and beauty has always coexisted beside it
It's resisted so much longer than us
and we bask in its radiance much more often than we realize
so through all the pain of life's crucible remember,
to be as daring as you were the day before
if not more so, make an impact.
Shine brightly, so that everyone can see.
It's just one of the things that makes this life worth it.

What you worth really?
I mean only you can tell me,
because the only thing that can limit you is yourself
anything you set your mind to can be achieved
you just need to believe, and then back that up with the work
talk is cheap, unless you give it the support it needs.
make your words an extension of yourself,
as if they were arms and legs that can help lift another up
whenever you happened to let them roll off your tongue.
I used to have dreams I'd light up stages,
now I just want to light up the diminished flames in your hearts that you hold dear.
If not today,
maybe tomorrow I can convince you
each day is a new day to craft a better you.
Take a look in the mirror,
reflect in who it is you've become and what you've get left to do.

So much strife in this life,
so much beauty too.

Welcome to my escape from reality…
A mirror to my soul,
My never-never land,
Understand?

A dream to write the words that whole world sing
or preach rather
in the hopes that maybe it’ll mean something when I’m gone…
my worst fear is wondering if this even matter when I’m gone
because the world’s being pulled by the influence of technology
and I’m hoping we don’t lose the basics in the process.

Excuse me miss,
May I tempt you with a verse?

and the contents of this book belong to,
the one and only…

James Desire

A clean slate on the date of January 26th
and I can’t believe it ended up like this
I mean how rap has become the nominator
and R&B; seems to have lost it’s appeal
what happened to the smooth seduction of the voice
From an introduction,
to the core of one’s soul
every note and rhythm makes us crave more…
and what happened to the women who believe in love
and the making of which could be so passionate,
You see all that’s needed is the right mood.
Don’t mean to intrude, but check out tracks 8 & 9 of Usher’s Confessions
That’s superstar and its interlude
and with a flow like woah
I make nonsense bring clarity
sincerely reaching into the inner depths of your mind
or even for some, their soul, just to let them know
We share something in common.
See what I’ve done is make a possibility for a connection
I long to bring a bit of understanding…
Between the few souls that float along with us on this rock called Earth.

Truly Yours,
James Desire

What if I kissed you?
would it be everything we'd hoped for
or would it shatter our dreams
because it seems this one moment could change everything
so what if we let whatever happens
happen
so that we'll have no regrets
and if we fail
we would've given it our best
so when night falls
I can finally put my mind to rest
instead of wondering,
"What If I Kissed You"

Better yet,
What if I told you I missed you?
would it bring up warm memories of the past
or would you disregard it
believing it to be untrue...
Fed up with how dull words sound so good
but never happen to shine through
I don't blame you
the fear was crippling,
it was like having stage frieght
I wasn't sure how to show you...
but you did
and you tried teaching me
but I was too blind to see
that what I wanted I had right in front of me
[sigh]
the ritual was so casual
that it seemed to lose its meaning
I just didn't want it to be meaningless to you
when it means everything to me...

I wrote a few lines
Back in a time where I thought I knew
Made complications seem as simple as the different shades of grey
She lead astray
Venom racing thru my mind that day
Each second allowing it to coarse deeper into my thoughts
After all the struggle, could you really still have lost?
Fought but never took action
Took another avenue
For the path seemed way to cluttered for the allotted time of two
Conflicted, a tear fell from mine eye
But from the grin that followed the sorrow one could only assume acceptance…
Lost in confusion
I’m sure it’s not a delusion
So I came to a conclusion
Must I let go and grow
Or hold tight and let her know?
...
and I just stopped writing,
finished.

Gravity** (Inspired by the music of Miguel)
“The way you pull me, you move me…”

Isn’t it interesting just how strange life is?
so many variables can influence the outcome
we all have a path to follow I guess we just need to discover where that path lies…
living without vision of a future is frightening
honestly, I need to have a tendency to try new things
because if not, I’ll lead life with no means to develop and grow
I shook because I feared the loss of it all
overtime she became important to me
I will not deny that…
I got too comfortable, I admit that ****** up once or twice
but pessimism was my downfall.
the same happens with poetry
no matter how many times I’m told
how good I might be,
the minute I step on stage,
and the light hits my face
I lose all confidence in my speech
my head falls down and stays glued to my feet
and just for a moment I feel the defeat
till voices in the crowd stand out
cheering me on, picking me up
my voice a little raspy
my legs a little shaky
I take a deep breath,
and slowly regain my composure
until I’m starting to speak those words
encrypted with stories I like to tell
or related to stories I might’ve heard
I hear nothing but them,
lost in my head, remembering the rhythm
remembering the feeling of how my pen formed every curve that created these rhymes
and in no time I find
there they are no longer any words to speak
no more hidden courage to reach
all that remains is the lesson I sought to breech into my thoughts
and become a teaching that I preach
so I hope that these words leech to the meek
or whoever was looking for some substance in this content
all this derived from the melody of gravity on continuous repeat
my heart and this beat
flow together oh so harmoniously
I suppose that might be why
Poetry and music seem to make so much sense to me…

EXTRA:
Our eyes meet,
My hands grasp at your hips
A kiss to your cheek
and I bit you a good evening sweetheart
Before I met you
Too little too late,
I won’t forget you…

Free Yourself…
-Jimmy Desire

At last the chains of my heart are released
The thing I had once called love is now deceased

You’ve lost yourself
Sitting in a dark room
Crying over **** that used to be
So I call you up and try to do you a favor
Ask if you and I could chill later
You say no
I say fine I understand
Things take time to get over
But when your done drowning in sorrow
I could take your hand
And we could look forward to tomorrow
Pain comes and goes
See this life
Is the only one we get
How long do you want to take to heal?
When you could recover
And discover
That with every end
There is a new beginning
A new chance to get things right,
Your sight
Impaired from the tears you’ve cried
Blind you from the truth,
Things will eventually get better
You just have to want them to
…Live to life to the fullest…

God Amongst Humans [Superman]**
-James Desire

The weight of the world lies upon his shoulders
He falls to his knees trying to support their needs
He’s overpowered but won’t concede
His will is too strong to accept defeat

He needs to get back up
The cries and pleads have successfully infiltrated his mind,
Slowly revealing an emotion he refused to emit
Fear
He was strength to all that looked up to him
But look at him now
Kneeling to the pressures of the world when it needed him most
He had become more human than anyone thought possible

Doubt poisons his mind
“I’m not good enough,
Could a world inflicted by so much violence really become utopia?
Could one man with all my efforts to help, make that difference?
Can I change the world?”
He isn’t sure that he can
But he gathers his strength and will try again and again
Because the world needs an example
The world needs a superman…

My sister once told me that she gives everyone one a chance.
So I sit here and I wonder
why her philosophy hasn't been assimilated by others...
Doesn't everyone deserve a chance to show what they have to offer?
Man I hate that I love her and I know at times she feels the same way too. **** I swear that, given the opportunity,
I would've loved her the way I always wanted to...
I know the past is the past and should be left there
but these what-ifs and maybes love to whisper in my ear...
On nights like these, I wish she could understand how much I miss her.

Heart Break
Silent
Your mind runs through what happened
trying to understand where you lost control
when you very well may have not had it at all
you seek deep within to discover what had captivated you
yet your heart does not speak
you know very well its not complete
he’s claimed a piece for himself, and tossed it aside.

Your stuck trying to understand exactly how something like love could be abused
because throughout it all
its as though he was amused
carefully manipulating your heart to complete his hidden agenda
now you’re trying to find someone you once were
the after photos show a salvaged version, hardened by the pain he inflicted.

You think you’ve lost qualities that were apparent
You haven't they’re just lying beyond a door entitled, “The me you’ll never see”
and it hurts you more because you think it shows people you’re weak
when in reality you’re just individual
and believe me sweetheart people wanna tear that apart
because conformity equals normality and you’re just not a **.

On the case of “him” or “what used to be”,
he gave you happiness beyond belief so there was little reason to say no.
until a stampede of words reached your core and you had no choice but to let go
Thankfully,
time heals the deepest wounds
in this case you’re ensnared in a quicksand of memories that remind you of mistakes
and the sooner you accept them and stop struggling
the better chance you’ll have of escaping and recovering.

Worthless... Average... Not You.
You deserve more than what you give yourself credit for.

Much Love,
Jimmy Desire

You are quite the looker sweetheart.
tonight I wanted to take a moment to tell you
that you deserve to be treated like a princess,
held like a jewel
and ****** like the little ***** no one knows you are.
if only they knew, they'd be rushing for you.
alas,
the world is filled with the type of women who spread their legs
whenever the heat just so happens to get the best of the moment.
but you're heart longs for more,
& although your body may say yes,
the little tick tock in your chest will not rest.
you see it longs for love...

Truly Yours,
Desire

Hidden Weapon
By: James Desire

See me walking on the vacant street
What’s your first thought?
Black kid up to no good
See me- surrounded by others, my brothers
What is your second thought?
Black kid in some gang
Must be tattooed and tough
Discrimination- Hidden Weapon
See the clothes I am wearing
Big baggy pants, dark Du-Rag and Ripped shirt
What is your final thought?
Poor old ****** living in a ghetto
Discrimination- Hidden Weapon
Now Listen,
You see me jetting through the silent streets
What would you assume then?
Arrest!
Call the cops
Must have been a ******, a robbery,
Another black boy crime
Discrimination- Hidden Weapon
I am just a black boy trying to survive
Trying to enjoy-just to stay alive
On the street
People judging me cause
The blackness of my skin
The types of clothes I’m in
Discrimination- Hidden Weapon  
Unsuspecting black child taunted, haunted…
Fearing that one word-*****
Should I be blamed for crimes committed in the past?
Choice-less decisions made
Pressure reaches ******
Everything seems lost
At the end
I feel blamed
Nevertheless, I blame you
Whites
Rejecting
Hurting
Me- hopeful
Pride-earned-not given
Defending
Defending my dignity
Discrimination- Hidden Weapon  
Should I be judged/blamed for past generations?
Then, blame me for…
The jazz of Louis Armstrong
The voice of Billie Holiday
The poetry of Langston Hughes
The photography of Gordon Parks
The character of Martin Luther King Jr.
The power of Coretta Scott King
The dignity of Fredrick Douglas
Finally, the individuality of James Desire
You seek evil in blacks
The past has also proven a positive…
A positive outcome
That helped the development…
OF OUR WORLD!

I often disregard the fact that people affect me the way they do
whether it be good or bad, I just can't shake the fact that people matter
So I'm really astonished by the fact that good people
or anyone really, are treated badly
Is it that we forget the Golden Rule at a certain age
such as when adolescence hits and our selfishness consumes us
or when things gets so bad that it's depression you can't escape
whatever it maybe, whoever it maybe
don't you think they'd appreciate a little kind-heartedness?
even if it ain't reciprocated,
even if they hate you,
even if they harm you,
look into the core of their soul
and let them know,
how their actions only reflect
how much hurt they have endured
and the fact of the matter is,
that they are loved,
it's ensured
even if they aren't.

Inception - Inspire Me
-Jimmy Desire

See I knew we could vibe sexually
But then you went and intrigued me in ways I had not perceived
I had a sample of what you had to offer
And soon after, I wanted you to feed me what it seems I’ve been deprived of all my life,
Intellect
Or even better
Someone who can challenge my thoughts with responses that make me even question my thinking
All the girls in the past,
they're minds were as vast as the oceans that we strive off of
But empty,
Lacking any substance or comprehension
Robbing me from a nutrient I thought helped the world develop
Draining me from patience I had once built up to protect me from the world's ignorance
She helped me regain it
A tree of knowledge
I reach and feast upon the fruit she produces but hold on to the seeds
So that hopefully I can plant them in the minds of others
And they will blossom spreading from mind to mind creating an idea that an entire population could understand
infection,
it spreads because they're learning and turning the pages of history books to find out
why this and that didn't work and what could make it better
So don't ever say that one person can't make a difference
because revolution is overwhelming
especially when you discover that one can become one million within a matter of days
information is power and with the media keeping the public in the dark its no wonder that we're sour
politicians tweaking stories so that they may stand atop tower
these laws and rules are scandalous when even the presidents decide to take a risk
lets make a list and discover which
presidents had accomplished this successfully

As long as there are borders, we will continue to break them
but then why do people continue to make them?
All this from a mind filled with intellect
so won't you take a minute with me and just recollect
that mind is a beautiful thing.

Introduction [The Ride]
-Jimmy Desire

The Ride
Its journey is amazing
The process is sensational
Man, where I'm from
Who knows the destination though?
Constant names being learned
Forgotten while I go
I yearn to keep a few of them in memory
But only time will tell who comes and goes
So I continue on forward
Trying to understand the confusion that the world insists is normal
Meanwhile battling the emotions that you insist does not exist
Well then, what is this?
Bliss from ignorance
Then anger from your partner's diss
Not sure who to call friend or foe
And yet you claim this **** doesn’t exist?
Must’ve been blinded, there has to be something I missed
Because "dog eat dog" ain't nothing new
And yet I continue to resist as if someone will assist
Instead I'm hit with this metaphorical fist and left behind in the mist
Wondering what the hell is this?
The Ride

Of all the women
The last two knew me best
Taught me more than I'd like to admit
Especially because I did my best to help them
Something I never omit
But somehow along the way things happened to go amiss
And even if our eyes don't ever meet as often
Or things never seem the same
I continue to pray for their success
Because regardless of how they see it
It’s my life they've blessed
And there are two more that will never leave my side
Even if I were to decide to take a leave of absence
Forever my balance
I swear their voices took over my conscience
As if to lend me guidance
So honestly it may just be science
That these two incredible females remain a constant
Arevalo and Martinez how I adore the two of you
And although at times I may seem distant
I miss the two of you
And the fiascos that would ensue
Like hopping the border for dunkin'
Or attempts at grand theft in JP
Just the memories of those moments reminds me
That our equation is incredible
And I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world


The Ride
Where do I go?
Who will I be?
My future still a mystery
But the days pass by so quickly
And I’ve been living so peacefully in the present
That I’ve paid no mind to what awaits me
Even now I seem to forget the importance of it all
Like how time and money rule everything around me
And that in time, I’ll have love ones who depends on me
And that in time, I can no longer live carefree
So in time, I wonder who I’ll be
Because too much was sacrificed to see me succeed
To my parents and those who helped raise me
I understand and I promise to make you all proud
And I know I was quite the handful in the years that have past
But now in the years to come,
I plan to show you the admiration you deserve for the lessons you’ve taught me
So that it’s known that you’re involvement made a difference
So in time, I promise it’ll all be clear
The vision is near,
Desire Enterprises CEO
It was all a dream…
The Ride

Life is bittersweet
For it blessed me with a brother
But stole him away before I had any chance to get to know him
So in time I was introduced to three kids,
Ralph, Myke and Medrano, they would end up becoming my brothers
And in time my mother decided it was time for her to have another
So at the age of seven I was introduced to a young child named Jason
A few months before him, Ralph, Myke, and Medrano welcomed a young tyke named Billy
Now there were six
And for years, we were each other’s friends, bullies, teachers and rivals
But I often wondered what came about the first
However I often ignored it
Because that period and time of my life was so vague
That I started to doubt it
And as the period of change seemed to settle,
I was informed of the return of the prince himself,
The young Max Saint-Eloi

The Ride
In time it will all subside
My ***** told me life is too short
So I guess it’s time to shape up
Stop slacking, wake up!
For so long I’ve clung onto this cliff
Too afraid to fail
I want it all
But I’m too afraid to fall
But decided to let go cause who knows I won’t land on my feet?
Fear is just an obstacle we must defeat
And I rather have a fighting chance
Than to turn tail and surrender
So Here I Stand World
Test me
My name is what I cherish most
Because my mother taught me
It’s the one thing I really own
And to make sure to never taint it
D-E-S-I-R-E
What may be a word to you, means much more to me
All my life I’ve been told that I have great potential
That I was something special
Never meant a thing to me then
But now I’m working hard to achieve what I used to think was impossible  
And these words mean nothing without the actions to reinforce them
So I pay no mind to those who may judge me,
Care for those who appreciate my presence
And lend an ear to those who feel they need some guidance
Because it happens, like the morning fog that shades what’s in the distance
Or how perfect things change in just an instance
Life leaves us troubled with uncertainty and mystery
So the purpose of these words is to remind me
That if I should ever find myself lost or confused
To look back and remember the people and events that enlightened me
And my love for poetry
The Ride

The sands of the hourglass continue to slip through our fingers
Yet I try to catch some and embed them in my memories
Poetry, my method of preserving those moments I deem important enough to save
My name is Jimmy Desire,
Welcome to my story.

Our words never seem to reach you
maybe you comprehend for a little then let love blind you
open your eyes,
don't let your heart speak for you
Caught in a cycle,
[The Arcade Speaks]: "You Lose!
Continue?"
A vet at this game
You're diggin' for change
because you can't stand that fact that
1st: Doesn't read your name...
I know you're hoping things will change
but how many chances will you take before you realize its been enough?

Now I know quitting ain't easy
but lets take a look at the past
I guarantee your pillows knows the good and the bad
though it cannot speak
it can feel the texture of each salty tear that it takes in
and no one said love was easy
but don't you ever stop and wonder that maybe you deserve better?
that maybe happiness does exist in a place thats not like this.

From what I see your self-image is twisted
but I haven't the chance to dig past the exterior
to excavate the secrets that make up who you are...
You've blamed yourself and let him repeatedly toy with your emotions at will
You deserve better than that
you claim its non-existent but how do you find someone new
when your past is a reoccurring day-dream of what you want to be?
Just because you haven't found him yet doesn't mean he doesn't exist...

Looks to me you have two options...
you can either continue to play the game,
or let it go [until later where you can resolve things]and make yourself happy
because now you aren't...

Much Love,
Jimmy Desire

Lessons Learned
-Jimmy Desire

Isolated,
Restricted within the confines of my own mind
Like a puzzle,
But the pieces aren’t compatible
See what you’ve done to me
Your actions don’t add up
My selfishness stunts me
It doesn’t allow me to understand what you want
I want to understand though
I do care,
I want you happy
I’d just rather you happy with me
All the time spent thinking about you,
Probably could’ve done more…

The mouse scurries in the light
But explores the darkness,
That becomes a shade of mystery
Light’s radiance exposes it
And makes it a possibility
See…
What the mouse doesn’t know is that
The two are one in the same
Mystery compels us to discover
But who knows what we’ll find
That’s our possibility
Possibility knows no limit
We wonder,
Estimate,
Infer,
Yet we can never be certain of
A Mystery,
Until we are willing enough to explore…

Truth of the matter is,
I'm sick and tired of not knowing where I'm going,
So I'm guessing its bout time I find out...
Well then, how bout you?..

…

Life is funny in all honesty

Human interactions always astonished me,
the simple capability of being able to allow individuals
to share each other’s thoughts is amazing.
Our very image can be viewed differently by a matter of words.
You can feel the most endearing warmth from simple contact alone,
in many cases, only if it’s the right one.
In others’ cases, it could be the touch of anyone
that reminds you, you are not alone.
I swear I’m in my zone,
writing is a constant love I just can’t leave her alone
So many love letters trapped within my phone.
Lay it all over your skin,
each letter a kin to the grand production
Thank you for your patience,
because it’s given life to works of art
that I could not have foreseen before but now I embrace it.
My heart races whenever my body remembers the sensation.
I mean contemplate it,
my pen bleeds to breathe life into a new creation.

Alleviation of the troubled mind,
trying to adopt and grow with time
and this forever evolving world
I have to let my faith grab the reigns
and overpower any fear that will breed doubts into my mind.
Positivity my only energy,
even when I’m low,
I throw myself into bodies of work like this to get high.
Don’t ask me why,
but often I look at the sky
and believe that even I can surpass the limits.

(A freestyle off of Revenge of the Dreamers / J-Cole)

Lost in a world
of a word
or a combination of which entrances me
onto rants such as this
Do you understand the feeling?
losing yourself in the rhythm
and imitating or recreating your favorite song,
in your vision?
What’s amazing is, what a large world this is…
and how much of it truly influences the music we hear
I mean, I can use my memory to remind me of her beauty
or instead I can bring together the words that will explain to you
how every morning the sun’s rays ever so lightly kisses her face
just to compliment the amazing glow that only amplifies the radiance of her smile
and her warmth,
is a treasure to be cherished as I do
Everyday, the sweet serenades of “sunday morning” remind me of you.
and how my lips graze and embrace her skin,
often I simply allow them drag carelessly along her valley of silky smoothness
as my tongue sends chills thru her spine
just to hover above her ear and remind her that she’s mine
this love is divine,
but something this great takes time
patience — most aspects of life ask of it
and these words let me pace it out
mediation for the mind
for the days where my eyes may glaze over a shade of red
and things don’t seem so easy
I let the creativity flow thru me
as history and THC embed my bloodstream
focused but my mind races
past the similes and metaphors that lay hidden in the borders of the margin
and the bridge echoes,
“Can you feel the buzz?”
my body trembles to the beat
I end up singing along…
“Do you believe in love?
What’s your drug?,
What’s your drug?”
as the smoke escapes my lungs and lingers in the atmosphere
I allow the meaning of the words to sink in
Can I get you to understand?
how the music inspires me to speak
on what it is that I care for or desire
from the need of perfection I feel once the idea is bred,
to the hours of lost sleep trying to avoid the clutches of defeat
when it comes to end,
I feel complete
as if these words fulfill my wishes
to bring back a little substance to our lives.
Although to some, I know this is simply nonsense
well then,  let me try to make it make sense
this time spent has been for my love of music
then simply writing off its influence,
poetry, more than just an art form
I’m just trying to reach your mind and touch your heart
Because you and I can’t be that far apart?
We live in this world together don’t we?
This is the human experience
It's in our nature, let’s connect.
Let’s spread peace and love throughout the land
with a little positivity and encouragement
vibe with me to the beat,
Tell me what it is that you seek,
Do you believe in love?

Introduction:

Everything I work for now is for my future,
the amazing wife that I know will ease my mind when I'm troubled
and the children we will raise together...
I will work hard to make sure they are as happy as humanly possible

I promised myself this as a young child when I have first dreamt of losing my parents.
I cried that night,
I still can remember that dream clearly
News crews lined up in front of my home
blocked off by "do not cross" tape
I never knew how they were taken
I remember a woman asking me in the dream,
"what will you do now that you're parents are dead?"
And I screamed...

My first night terror.
My father came in and asked
"what's wrong?"
I looked at him in reassurance
and said nothing and yet he insisted I tell him what had me shook.
I remained quiet in fear of the reality of the premonition
My biggest fear,
because although we fight and argue I do love them dearly
I've always planned on grabbing a pen and transcribing this feeling the only way I can
and then reading it to them
Maybe at an open mic night
if they would ever find the time to watch me one day
They deserve that much for the struggles they've been through
and I just want them to see why I love this art so much.

All my life,
I've just wanted to make an impact in some way.
Give what I can because life is too short.
There is so much other ******* in this world.
So I strive to give all that I can before I take my dying breath
because who knows maybe my mentality will rub off on someone else
and the chain will continue on thru my time.

Problem is,
I continue to put my own issues and concerns in the back burner.
And put all others before myself.
Except my family and I guess they feel neglected,
even though that's not my intention.
So as a result,
my parents think I'm a **** up
and that I'm gradually slipping down the wrong path.
They are also stuck in their "old ways"
so they think all that I do is wrong.
Rebellious and yet looking for a way back to gain approval in their eyes.

The struggle.

It's 8:37
I wrote the contents of my mind at the time
For the sake of my sanity.