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 Sep 2015 Jillian Ross
mikev
passing strangers
with stranger angers on all their faces
i don't know why
you're all so mad.
 Sep 2015 Jillian Ross
mikev
words can hurt people
ways actions never could
i said, it happened
but you didn't see it
outside of your projections
 Sep 2015 Jillian Ross
mikev
14 years ago?
I was getting
off the bus walking
up the stairs
thinking something
was off
all day.
The low voices
The lower eyes
I was getting off that yellow bus
walking up those stained stairs
as an anxious new brother
Her feet were in the air giggling.
My mother said
(almost from the other room)
"Something has happened."
I went to make a joke
and then saw the television.
I thought it was a joke.
I wondered why.
Now I wonder how
one act of evil justified another
and another and another and another
And when
it will end.
Desire,
what love I shed on thee,
but fair has fate,
which scowls at me.
You look in a mirror,
your face in distress,
the mirror sees gruesome,
though I only see the best.
You sob out your envies,
I bring back it's head,
the sweetest smell follows,
though the fairest is dead.
I deliver the creams,
that best symbolize you.
They are each filled with mystery
which you fancy with no clue.
I don't beg you be grateful,
As you I be most the same.
If I were showered with love by one,
I'd seek the others for fame.
I don't doubt your elegance,
nor the great curve that cracks you face.
No, I know your lost within their minds,
but I hope I am not misplaced.
For I love what I feel,
but you love what you see.
I am no bound servant,
though nay I wish to believe that of me.
I love my love,
and she love me.
I love my love,
so she love me.
So shall I stay,
for infinite.
Gazing at her beauty,
that she may never see.
 Sep 2015 Jillian Ross
Javier
I opened the door to my shriveled home
and in pranced radiant Love in a drunken frenzy,
ranting about heart-to-hearts and self-hugs.
I grunted in accordance and she laughed me away.
Her eyes beckoning, arm extended, wine in hand, she sang,
"You had me standing out in the rain for way too long.
Drink this while I build the fire  
and remind you that in here is where I've always belonged."
 Sep 2015 Jillian Ross
Skai
Untitled
 Sep 2015 Jillian Ross
Skai
Do you remember that night?
Not that night,
but the night where everything was
simple,
peaceful.

We layed on the trampoline,
it was around 30 degrees outside.

I was cuddled into your side,
your body is always warm.

We stared at the stars.
I can't tell you for how long,
but it felt infinate,
neverending.

Jupiter peaked through an abundance of trees,
you pointed and asked
what planet that was.

I told you of my favorite constellation
and showed you.

Do you remember my favorite
constellation?

More importantly,
do you even remember that night?
 Sep 2015 Jillian Ross
Roo
Death is not a destination.
Death is encompassing.
I smell it when I breath in the rusty stench of blood on my fingers.
I feel it in the pain that reverberates with each step
as if I had driven a nail into the bottom of my boot and I felt it every time it hit the floor.
Death is not a destination.

It's woven into the fabric of my skin,
using a thread so thin
it echoes the line between what makes me a bad person and a good person who does bad things.
It echoes the line between life and death  but in a different way to the finishing line of a race because
death is not a destination.

It's the ball of rage that is fired up within me
at the slightest of things.
A reminder that I can't ever escape but can't quite tick off my list.
Death is not a destination but a feeling deep within me
and no matter how far I reach with my sharpened blade
I will never find.
Besides, I can no longer wish death upon the body I spent painful years learning to love,
the defenceless pulse nor my eager heart.

Death is not a destination,
but it is mine.
Whether it be warm or cold
it will welcome me.
I will be entering myself,
the most secret crevices that I found
the day the sadness took hold.
I will escape.
I will be free.
TW!!! please stay safe friends <3
 Sep 2015 Jillian Ross
mikev
puddles of flesh
warmth by liquid
splashing against insides
of veins
everything buzzes yellow
as her lips rise and tremble
her eyes, widen and resemble
clean dinner plates
the walls and floor spinning
I fall into confusion
my stomach twists
my heart drops
and the light is gone.
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