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  Oct 2015 Jillian Ross
mikev
when it makes sense
the air is fresh
access is with ease
it's just what you needed
  Oct 2015 Jillian Ross
mikev
i think
having known the sinister side of
anyone at any given
time, - it could, come crashing anywhere
even at work, or school, this parking lot
you - them, they'll never know what they are capable
of - depression fueled by hatred - a toxic cocktail - I don't
understand how this isn't a bigger issue.
  Oct 2015 Jillian Ross
mikev
I'm ready to go
she said.
I can't find my keys
need to tie the shoes
sunglasses missing
It's not my fault I'm not ready.
  Oct 2015 Jillian Ross
mikev
got her a gift I
thought was clever and hastened
I tell her I'll always love her, I can be exceedingly patient,
through whatever weather
I'd be there in a fire and rainstorm
told her that forever I’m staying
so when she said
let's take a vacation
my eyes light up
a permanent one
oh. wait.
no, me? - no - when -
she said, when you begin to intervene with scenes of dreams we breathed?
I'll say you're lacking persuasion
and - don’t ask the occasion.
They’re reasons I cannot be placing.
And life's short why would I waste it
with you? (the eyes)
plus
someone else’s name.
I can taste it
and stupid you and I
with the everyday doubt and shame it became abrasive
don't you see?
the pouts and pangs started replacing
every-single-*******-thing we were chasing
so everything small claim brings out the fangs
I'm so sick of thinking I’m all there is to blame
until I'm on the brink of insane?! (eyes)
I don't owe you any explanation
I don't care what you consider courageous
you don't know how anxious my core is
imagining the sort of - future we'd have
- No, I’m sorry -
I mean, I feel your pain,
everything around me, just happened in a hurry,
people and shadows, blended entwined and blurry,
all that **** before, I didn’t mean to instigate such a worry (the eyes)
I don’t know when you developed this fury
I wish I could help
I wish I knew sooner
instead of assuming useless rumors
always clueless and using excuses
fine. I agree to not be.
but please there's some putrid humor in this
maybe I got the chance to think for myself
maybe the cards I was dealt
got me almost broke on the felt
and since every emotion I felt
since the moment we met
was new
but maybe things end
without without clear reasons
  Oct 2015 Jillian Ross
Sarah
On this morning,
where the road's
reflecting gold

I think of all the
promises I've
made myself,
the sun, a draping
curtain over daybreak

and I wrap a scarf
around my neck
and hold my bony
hands
against my heart

It's October and
I've learned to love
myself again.
I remain a newborn knight
And yet have not acquired
The armor of my core
The thorns of these sweet roses
How shall I endure such sores?

The fragrance, always so familiar
Still playing with the ends of these strange curly vines
I keep the rose waiting
For I, too, am waiting
Waiting for my armor to grow and shine

Maybe these fragrant petals won’t be mine
I first must learn to love my castle
And I know
Armorless behind the crumbled walls
We will both hurt
I see black petals on the floor
I’m unprotected
Alas, a waning core
Bittersweet World of Uncertain Hearts
John Archievald Gotera © 2014 - 2015
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