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How stupid I was to let myself think
That what we had was some special link
I allowed you to lie straight to my face
And you abandoned me in utter disgrace
You humiliated me in from of my friends
And now you want what? To make amends?

Tell me, was she worth it? Was she so good?
That you'd leave me so alone where I stood?
You chose her, not me, and years latter regret it
And now you think that you can correct it?
Forget it, it's over, you ***-driven monkey
I'm not a possession, not one of your junkies

You got what you wanted, what's left to take?
You were my biggest of many mistakes
You were all that I had in a world so **** dark
Now, feeding my hate, you've played your part
Don't let me catch you around here again
Or I promise I'll **** you with my own hands
Thirteen years old and already facing a cheating ****? This is the ghettos of foster care people.
 Jun 2015 Jesibell arz
Lucy Ryan
wrap your arms
around her waist
her face
soft in sleep
white sheets
around you both
- like something brief
might change
Another fight
Walk away and write
Thoughts get crazy keep you up all night
Clear your mind till it goes numb
Tired of others treating you like you're dumb
You'd set them straight but all they do is hate
Give them something to do
since they have nothing better to do
Always willing to grow learn something new
Staying true to what you love
don't let others envy turn your heart blue
Called you names but unlike them full of pride not shame
Fake to your face talk behind your back no courage
Walk away no need to share their pain
Block out the bad memories forget all the drama
Focused on being a better person instead of sinking with them
Not going under always wonder sound of roaring thunder
 May 2015 Jesibell arz
ryn
These eyes have felt
their fair share of tears that burn
Forgive my eyes for they are yet so green
They have seen much but still they do not learn

These lungs have breathed
The air both fresh and acrid
Forgive them for they are yet so green
They only do what they must when all runs turbid

These ears they've heard
Hurtful promises and whispers that have stung
Forgive my ears for they are yet so green
They're know not to ignore the language of forked tongues

These lips have served
The most callous of opinions
Forgive them for they are yet so green
They can't seem to curb pent up notions

These hands have grown tired
From shielding my tear-stricken face
Forgive these hands for they are yet so green
They're still so afraid to welcome the gift of future days

These legs are sore
For they have travelled far
Forgive them for they are yet so green
They knew better than to enter through doors left slightly ajar

This mind is weary
From thinking of a life meant only for dreamers
Forgive my mind for it is yet so green
They know not of the inexistence of greener pastures

This heart... My heart
Pounding each beat that betrays
Beats with an anvil in tow
Forgive it for it is yet so green
It's having more trouble than it cares to show

This face I wear
A weathered mask I'm unready to shed
Forgive it for it is yet so green
There's still life in it...
For there's yet much to be said
the sun sets
      in western whispers
astral sagas
spill
         their wisdom
on the night's
canvas

and to the east
eternity
 May 2015 Jesibell arz
igc
You told me never to fall for a poet.
That their metaphor coated tongues
would inevitably cloud my judgement,
Yet every time you compared my smile
to a fresh bag of wind
My sun would creep out from between
the overcast and warm my bones.

You told me never to fall for an athlete.
That their cunning games were played
both on and off the field,
Yet the way you looked at me
contradicted your actions so
thoroughly you left me feeling
meticulously played.

You told me never to fall for a scholar.
That their strict lives were led by their
reason and not by their heart,
Yet every time you confided in me I felt
as though your calculated mind held
all the answers to the universe
overshadowed by your desires and
motivations

You told me never to fall.
Yet you pushed me.
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