They give us a white paper
Tell us to paint a canvas
But what do we paint?
The darkness in our hearts?
The pain in our soul?
The demons in our heads?
So I paint it black
Then splash of red
They ask why that?
I respond "you said to paint our canvas"
People start to stare,
They start to talk
They ask "why is it black?"
And say "She's Weird"
To me it is the painting of
Struggle
As I look in the black
I can see it all clear
There's a story being told.

Grabs the gun,
Loads it
With one bullet
Spins the cylinder
***** the hammer
Shoot!
He lives.
He tried to end his life
He fails.
The next day he tries again
Grabs the gun
Loads it
With two bullets this time
Spins the cylinder
***** the Hammer
Shoot!
He lives.
He wonders why
Is he really that lucky?
The next day he tries it again
Grabs the gun
Loads it
Three bullets go in this time
Spins the cylinder
***** the hammer
Shoot.
Once again he lives
He sits on the edge of his bed
Wondering why he is still alive
He hates his self
He hates his life
Wishes he wouldn’t exist anymore
But why has he been so lucky?
One last time
He grabs the gun
Loads it
With only one bullet
Spins the cylinder
***** the hammer
And Shoots.
He wasn’t so lucky this time
He goes to heaven
He sits and wonders
Why did it take so long for me to die?
A voice behind him says
“It wasn’t your time.
I had greater plans for you, it was just a setback”
“I tried to save you” they said
“Now come this way and I will show you what your life
Would have been if you had lived”
He follows the voice and sees what his life would have been
He sees a woman and a child
He asks the voice behind him “is that my family?”
The voice responds “Yes, that would have been your child.”
He begins to shed a tear,
He realizes he should have quit
Now he is in heaven regretting his mistake.

Life
Lots of lovers
Lots of breaks
Lots of lies
Lots of struggles
Come to me and hand me your heart
The one I promise not to break
Promise not to damage
Let me make life disappear
Let me be the only one with you
In this planet, just like in your dreams

Thoughts about you linger in my mind.
The sound of your voice is always ringing in my ears.
The picture of you lookin into my eyes with so much love and smiling is always in my mind.
I can't bare the thought that I won't see you, hold you, and caress your body anymore  
I have tried to not think of us but how can I just lose the beautiful memories we created.
As months pass by, memories of you get stronger
I ask myself why
You still linger all in me.

"You're fat"
"You're too skinny"
"You have acne"
"You wear too much make up"
They critic everything about us
People are never satisfied
I sit in the mirror
Think about what they say
Sometimes I don't want to come out
I am self conscious
I look in the mirror
I see ugly
The words they say are too much
I sit at home and starve myself
Because  they say I'm to fat
I am self conscious
There are days where I don't
Want to exist any more
Their words are too strong
They are breaking me down
They stare at my acne
They stare at my scars
The look on their face is disgust
I am Self conscious.

Her heart was big
Her love towards him
was enormous
Yet, she cried every night
He didn't care, maybe he did
She filled every room full of joy
Yet, she seemed to lack joy herself
He doesn't love her, Maybe he does
She had a heart of gold
But she cries every night
She is strong, loyal, and caring
Yet he manages to break her down
She is looking for comfort in him
He fails again and again
All she wants is to be loved
take care of her heart
instead he destroys it
Her heart is made of gold
She sits in a dark room
lonely and begins to cry
She wants to die
Her gold heart turns to coal
All you had to do was love me
She lays in a casket with a broken heart.

You make my legs shake
As you stare
In my eyes
My heartbeat,
Is out of control
The touch of your
Body so soft and warm
You make me
Imagine our life together
You're so perfect
You're so imperfect
My skies turn blue
My frowns turn smiles
My eyes lighten up
I see you walk
Through the door
And my heart skips a beat
You're so perfect
You're so imperfect
Tears running down my face
Can't breath as I cry
Yelling at you is hard
The lies you tell are so beautiful
I wanna be mad but
I love you
You're so perfect
You're so imperfect