We're just young
And we're trying to get by

I have seen the best minds and
The greatest potential
Depressed
Repressed
Compressed

I have seen their light devoured
Overwhelmed
And energy spent
Blind and always at breaking point
Minds rejecting
Bodies resisting

That's just how we feel
An entire generation isn't overreacting

I want the best for you
And I can't stand your pain
But they all want to fix you
And line up to solve your mystery
I'll hold the bags
And try not to let my repugnance show

A creature not worth the drama
Only good for a whiskey blind mistake
To shake off and forget about
Turn their minds to better things
Like you.

There is a memory I pull out and read when I can't sleep
A work of fiction -
But like a memory; the feeling remains while the details change
I am in a soft mess of warmth, my body so content I cannot feel it
Eyes closed but I can feel the presence of those who love me most
Because the hand on my back is gentle with no hesitation
And the touch on my hair is absent-minded
A calm assurance, from my own reading or from a friendly voice
"We are all happy, and we will be right here when you wake up"
And I know I am safe
And the passage is seamless

What a feeling
To feel nothing
Not empty
Parts. Wires. Still there.
Missing a spark
A current

See this
My party trick
Dowsed in wine
Throw myself
Rattling wires

Social un-pleasantries
A scandal of youth
I, unaffected and unaffecting
Nod along
Shout along
Expel words I don't mean
I try on their night

Attempt to make my
Blood slow
Skin still
And wait for electricity

I play my CDs from the beginning
Because I know I'll be here for a while
I listen until they put down their instruments
And go home to their loving wives
Who know they've never been faithful
We resent the music the same
Because it goes hand in hand
With long nights awake and alone

You only existed during the night
You burned cold
Your shadow consumed and
Your smoke filled me up
Thick and heavy

Always intense
Deep feeling
And the end of the world
Never eating or daylight or
living in the real world
No mannerisms or stories
Just darkness and cold

I saw you in the light once
Your shadow obstructed
Your mystery disolved
Through the thinning smoke I saw
Sadness
A cosmos of fear and  hurt
Fueling your cold fire
Burning everything
Eventually
Even you

I have never been in love, not even close
That has never bothered me
I have other priorities

I’m not half of a whole
I’m more than enough
Sometimes I’m too much

I build up and I break down
By my own hand, no one else’s
No, not even yours

See me bend and never break
See the love I give my self
See me spend my time improving
And see me do it on my own