There is a woman
Who loves me like air
She gave me life and she continues doing so
One time she told me to please not smoke anymore
But she has found every way of making sure I know
(Bribe, beg and banter, bring me to tears)
Consistent and persistently
That she isn’t happy with how much of me there is
My flesh offends and worries her
She says that she fears for my health
And she wants me to experience my full potential of youthful beauty
She says she thinks I’m beautiful but others may not
Never considering that the opinion I care about most
Is my own
Concern for my outside more than the inner that she can’t see
My lungs that struggle to breathe
My brain that just tries to function
My afflictions inherited from her
She says she only cares for my happiness and well being
In her eyes taking up less space would solve
All of the problems I experience in life
My anxiety disorder
My insecurities I have had as long as I have been self-aware
My emotional detachment and trouble committing
My concerns about being a good person and a valuable friend

Do you think me so superficial, that my happiness rides on my presentation?
Mother please, if you could read my mind
I love myself for who I am
This flesh is matter, and it can change and shift
It is merely my vessel in this world
I wish you could care about the person I am becoming
As much as what that person looks like

After I trash the clothes I wore
And make my bed my own again
I will step into the shower, water scalding
And scrub every inch that was touched by you
Your finger-tips, your breath, your smell
I will scrape away all evidence of you
Until all the skin we shared is washed away
And I will step out, red, raw and clean
Much like a snake, I will have shed my old skin
And stand naked, vulnerable and exposed
To make way to grow
Stronger this time